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RobertSeattle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 12:34 PM
Original message
thesmokinggun.com: Sheehan's Husband Seeks Divorce
Bad timing.

Sheehan's Husband Seeks Divorce
Bush roadside protester named in California petition filed Friday
AUGUST 15--The next well-wisher approaching Cindy Sheehan at her tent encampment outside President George W. Bush's Texas vacation home may actually be a process server. That's because the California woman's husband--in a curious bit of timing--filed for divorce Friday afternoon (below you'll find a copy of Patrick Sheehan's complaint, lodged August 12 in Solano County District Court). With Sheehan, 48, entering a second week outside Bush's Crawford retreat, her husband's divorce petition cites "irreconcilable differences" for the demise of the couple's 28-year marriage (the Sheehans, the document states, have been separated since June 1). Along with a Vacaville home, Patrick Sheehan listed other "community assets" as "any and all benefits payable as a result of son's death," including a Prudential insurance policy and "benefits from the U.S. Government." From her roadside outpost, Sheehan, whose 24-year-old son Casey, an Army Specialist, was killed last year in Iraq, has become the face of the U.S. antiwar movement, telling reporters that she will not budge until Bush meets with her and explains "why our sons are dead." Noting that Bush has referred to the war as a "noble" pursuit, Sheehan told Reuters, "If it's such a noble cause, why aren't his daughters over there?" Patrick Sheehan's lawyer, Glen DeRonde, did not return a TSG call, so it is unclear whether the divorce complaint will be delivered to her in Texas or when she returns to her home east of San Francisco. (4 pages)

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0815051sheehan1.html
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ray of light Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 12:38 PM
Response to Original message
1. the mantra ought to be
Edited on Mon Aug-15-05 12:39 PM by ray of light
MYOB!!! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! Since when does the government or political party belong in the private life of a law abiding citizen.

Back off!

That's what I'd say to anyone--MYOB--and SEEK the TRUTH about the pResident's war crimes, dsm, treason, etc...FOCUS on the important stuff.

(edited to include: I'm not telling YOU to back off--just the media)
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Old Vet Donating Member (618 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 12:41 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. He wants the Death Money, Period.
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 01:40 PM
Response to Reply #3
19. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
ray of light Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 02:47 PM
Response to Reply #19
23. your comment
Edited on Mon Aug-15-05 02:51 PM by ray of light
has absolutely nothing to do with mine! I said, the media should MYOB!

The husband may prefer to grieve privately and he also does not deserve the smear attack.

So, thanks for calling anyone who says it's a personal family matter-the divorce or the conversations--to remain personal!

The media and government needs to stay out of family's lives!

Actually--if your comment doesn't link up to mine then I take it back. I don't hate the man. I grieve for him. The loss of his son, his wife, and the empty hole in his heart has got to be more than one man can handle. I blame Bush and the media smear campaign. Leave the poor guy and leave Cindy alone! Focus on Bush's war crimes and lies and let them say MYOB and now let's talk about the DSM and Treason, or 285% profits, or billions of missing dollars!

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Macadian Donating Member (156 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 04:36 PM
Response to Reply #23
33. Sorry for the confusion.....
... my reply was not in response to your original post.

It was in response to comments from Old Vet and Edgewater_Joe.

I agree with you that people (and media and politicians) should leave both of them alone.

It perturbed me to see unwarranted criticism of the husband. Some people on here sound as bad as the neo-cons.
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ray of light Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 05:10 PM
Response to Reply #33
36. it's ok
I just didn't want to offend you!
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 05:16 PM
Response to Reply #19
38. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
Macadian Donating Member (156 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 05:58 PM
Response to Reply #38
41. Sorry, but thats the way I see it.
Yep, there are "some things that needs to be done, and some people that needs to do them". Cindy's family needs her support, and she needs to support them.

She has abandoned them in their time of need by leaving home for an extended period, at a time when they need her, indeed have pleaded with her to come home.

I don't think she is thinking clearly through her grief.

It might be different if I thought that her protest could actually make a difference, but I don't and its not.

To suggest that her husband is a "paid lackey of Bush" is ridiculous and just shows how much of a farce this entire episode has become.

I only hope and pray that Cindy does not find herself abandoned once the TV cameras and the political celebrities have left for the next big news story. I hope that when this happens, people remember that Cindy is a hurting human being and not just a political symbol.
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BleedingHeartPatriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-16-05 02:27 PM
Response to Reply #41
62. You could say the same about many citizens who have made public stands
against morally corrupt leaders. The first example that came to mind was Ghandi.

The time that they invest in their cause or passion is time away from family. And a family's natural and understandable response is to feel hurt and slighted.

But, if people are not willing to make a stand for the greater good, we are all lost.

Now, those conflicts and the unhappiness that used to occur behind the scenes is now front and center in the media circus of today.

Cindy has been doing this for quite a while with two groups who are working hard to make the change...Veterans for Peace and Goldstar Families for Peace.

She will continue to work with and have support from those groups, so her work and efforts will be ongoing. MKJ
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SteppingRazor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 12:39 PM
Response to Original message
2. Another casualty of war...
It's tough to hold a marriage together in the wake of so much grief. :(
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Old and In the Way Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 01:03 PM
Response to Reply #2
10. Another "pro-family" benefit brought to you by this administration.
I think there are lots of couples who suffer broken marriages when something like this happens.
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cliss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 01:38 PM
Response to Reply #2
17. Yes, exactly.
I've read that whenever a child dies, the parents have an incredibly tough time making it work. There could be subtle blame shifted onto each other. The grief is overwhelming. I've read that this kind of thing pushes marriages into divorce.

Now, the thing with Mr. Sheehan is that all of this happened before Cindy went to Crawford. They broke up quite a while back, but the Repug media is going to sensationalize this as, "Husband disapproves of Cindy Sheehan, files divorce in retribution".

Which is nothing of the sort. This is a highly PRIVATE matter and should be kept that way.

But will they listen?
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OzarkDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 02:52 PM
Response to Reply #2
24. War destroys families
The casualties go beyond the dead and injured, but also to their families who must deal with years of unresolved anger and guilt.

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Edgewater_Joe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 12:43 PM
Response to Original message
4. I Hate To Be Conspiratorial, BUT ...
... what's her husband's story?

Could HE -- and could this move -- be another Right-Wing smear?
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OneTwentyoNine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 02:52 PM
Response to Reply #4
25. Divorces happen all the time,but the timing of this......
What,he couldn't wait a couple more weeks? Something very fishy about the timing,not some much about the divorce itself.

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blondeatlast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 05:34 PM
Response to Reply #25
40. The timing just reeks of suspicion; I'm no tin-foil wearer, but GEEZ!
Somehow, this can't possibly be strictly coinidental.

I can't believe that I'm thinking this, but, damn if i'm not thinking this.

:shrug:
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SemperEadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-16-05 04:41 PM
Response to Reply #40
64. last week, didnt' Cindy speak about how her husband's people
were wingnuts who are appalled that she's in Crawford?

Seems to me that they got him to drink the kool-aid...

he could have waited another month before filing. It just looks suspect to me, considering what is known about the dynamic in his family.
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TheFarseer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 12:26 PM
Response to Reply #64
69. I thought the husband said he supported her 100%
this is very weird. I'm not sure what angle there is here or if there is any angle.
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enough already Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-16-05 09:01 AM
Response to Reply #4
51. You are right to be conspiratorial
Nothing this administration does would surprise me. I wouldn't be at all surprised if Rove is somehow behind it.
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BluGrl Donating Member (58 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 02:33 PM
Response to Reply #4
76. I disagree....
If he is just trying to smear his wife, soon to be ex, and it is part of a right wing conspiracy, I would imagine he'd be burning a path to the nearest TV camera to give an exclusive. I suspect there were problems before her story became public.
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stellanoir Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 12:47 PM
Response to Original message
5. Is it still true that 50% of all marriages end in divorce?
If so, then so what ?

That hardly invalidates her cause in any way shape or form.

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bearfan454 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 12:57 PM
Response to Reply #5
9. Not true.
It's closer to 75 percent.
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cliss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 01:40 PM
Response to Reply #9
18. Yes. Some states have higher rates than others.
Oregon is one of the highest, but I think Nevada is the highest. That makes sense; people go there for "quickie" divorces.

But why Oregon? I've read they blame the bad weather....

But you're right. It's really high.
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cobaindrain Donating Member (731 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 04:33 PM
Response to Reply #18
32. godless, anti-family no morals Massachusetts has the LOWEST divorce rate
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madfloridian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 12:49 PM
Response to Original message
6. She has a post at Daily Kos about this.
It is not a secret.
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ChiciB1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 01:57 PM
Response to Reply #6
21. When Was It Posted???
Oh, I'll just check it out myself!

She did talk about the fact that she and her in-laws haven't spoken for some time now, so it's not like she hasn't been up front about her views. I'm sorry she has to have to much grief, but if he doesn't understand how deeply she feels, and if he doesn't understand what her movement has done, then so be it!

People get DIVORCED every day, and I've heard the more people in RED states divorce than blue states, not that it makes a hill of beans. Divorce is what you do after you marry, RIGHT???

Uh, I'm still married to the same guy I married when I was 18! I AM NOT NORMAL!!!

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whatever4 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 12:51 PM
Response to Original message
7. Actually, bailing out on the wife during hard times is typical
Not to put men down, but it's pretty common. Cancer, money troubles, whatever, it happens more often than not. I learned that when a neighbor told me about what she'd learned, after her ex left her when she was diagnosed with MS. It was, what did she say, 70 or 80 percent of the time, with that diagnosis, the husband bails. Not as common for the wife to bail, less than half that rate I believe, statistically. I know my best friend lost her husband when she was diagnosed with cancer. I'll never forget her telling me about that, he told her over the phone from the hospital lobby. Their child was about 2 years old I think.

It just happens.
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SteppingRazor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 01:05 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. Why do you hate men?
And why do you hate freedom? :evilgrin:
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whatever4 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-16-05 08:51 AM
Response to Reply #11
49. Sorry it seems like I hate men. I don't.
What I am is realistic about men. And male culture. And dare I say it? What men have done to my life and the lives of so many others? My friends, my neighbors, shall we continue to treat these as isolated and rare events? They are not. THAT is all I'm saying. The facts aren't laid out often enough, they're fairly well ignored, and the problems never end.

That might be okay, if it were something as trivial as laundry. But it's not, it's our entire lives affected, and what I mean to point out is how the blindness is the primary cause of the problems. A disconnect.

If a man doesn't like reading about the facts of men, such as the fact that they frequently abandon their wives during hard times...is that the fault of the women that points it out?

Is that a woman hating men? Or what "some" men do?

Is it a man defending himself? Or the atrocities of his gender? Is it my fault? Or yours?

In the end, does it matter? It matters to the women. Not hard to understand, if you stop to think about it. It's a "problem". A cultural problem. It's just mostly men who think it's trivial.

You may feel free to continue to dislike the women for complaining about the statistically generalized actions of men. Not as if we're in the habit of attacking you any other way. Another difference commonly ignored. We're less violent, overall. But far from being a plus, far from being superior, it makes women...weak. Sure. That's civilized.
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Contrary1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 01:08 PM
Response to Reply #7
13. It is so sad to hear stories such as these...
I belong to a breast cancer support group, and I have heard just about everything. One woman I met online told me about her husband, who moved out of their bedroom the night she came home from the hospital, minus one breast. He told her she wasn't a "whole woman" any more, and he couldn't bear to look at her. After a few months, she took everyone's advice, and moved him completely out of the house.

I don't know the details behind the Sheehan's decision to divorce.
But, it would be hard to keep a marriage together when the couple grieve in such different ways.
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whatever4 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-16-05 08:59 AM
Response to Reply #13
50. Thank you
I imagine you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Like with rape. We all know it happens. Happens all the time.

It just happens.

But the problem is, when it happens, not only does no one want to talk about it, men fairly well get mad about it. As if they're each and every one being blamed for it, and not their attitudes, their incorrect ideas about women, love and sex. So, without the confrontation over such issues, they're so easily ignored. And who gets excused for their indiscretions? The man. The woman is frequently so ashamed her partner would do such a thing to her, such a blatant terrible thing as to leave her when she needs him most...it's just like men who beat women.

They almost ALL say they'd never do it. But, it turns out a lot of them do. They say "I'd never hit a woman" "I was raised better than that" But funny thing, turns out that if a woman gets beat, nine time out of ten it's man that does it. Fancy that; you'd think, from all the talk, that only women would hit another woman. Talk about a disconnect from reality.

Until we learn to talk about it, it will never change. The oppressors NEVER stop oppressing, not until they're forced, as with slavery, it's just not human nature. Certainly not male human nature.
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spuddonna Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 01:59 PM
Response to Reply #7
22. My sister was in the hospital for the first two yrs of her life...
We were there all the time, so my mom got to know the nurses pretty well. The nurses always respected my dad so much because he was there whenever he could be. The nurses told my mom that when kids were as sick as many of the kids were in the wing my sis was in (term. cancer, leukemia, rare genetic diseases), often the dads just disappeared because they couldn't deal with it. In fact, some of the moms did too, and there were several wards of the state there...

I remember as a kid not understanding how a mom or dad could leave their kid in the hospital, and I was so mad at those people. But now, I've gotten to the point where I accept and am not surprised by it. Some people gather up the courage to deal with what life gives them, some don't. And I don't think it's gender based, or genetic...

I do think that many of these people involved in the attacks on Cindy Sheehan, and in general the right wing smear tacticians, employ re-direction. So many of these people that are attacking Cindy and the soldiers, like Paul Hackett, have never served. Maybe they really wanted to, but could never muster the courage to do it. That's why, IMHO, they lash out at this woman, who has given her most precious gift to our country - her son. They are frustrated that they didn't have the courage to do it, but it is much easier to attack someone else than deal with your own problems and self-loathing.

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whatever4 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-16-05 09:03 AM
Response to Reply #22
52. I have to agree about lashing out
It's pretty nuts of folks to attack this woman. She's already lost her son. That is why she's out there, basically risking her freedom and her life; because there just isn't much more anyone can to do her. She's lost her son.

As for the man tirade, I just had to throw it in, because it's true. It's common. Men frequently leave their wives when trouble happens, in numbers that far exceed those of women who leave their husbands.

Must be a survival of the fittest thing. After a while, when I think about it, I have to wonder what they're surviving for. If there's no one at home, no home to come home to. I guess home just isn't that important anymore. Sometimes I think it never was. But I'm very bitter, it's true.
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spuddonna Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-16-05 02:03 PM
Response to Reply #52
61. I think you actually hit on one of the reasons they do leave...
I think many men want to be taken care of at home, and I'm not just talking about housework, I mean that, for many men in hetero relationships, the woman 'creates' the home for the family to feel comforted and cared for...

When that person who creates the home is unable to do that, or directs their attention elsewhere, the home is no longer a haven for some, and they go seeking other 'nests'. I'm generalizing here and I shouldn't because I know many guys who are constantly involved in their homes, fixing them up, planning gardens with their partners...

And yeah, some guys move on because it doesn't benefit them to stay. I guess there's a loyalty factor there...

I guess I just gave up trying to understand why, and have accepted that people do freaky shit... Like the guy driving over the crosses... I can't wrap my head around any reasoning that would make it ok, so I stop trying to understand why, and move on to trying to do something positive...

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whatever4 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 12:42 PM
Response to Reply #61
71. Good points
I especially like that last one, that people do freaky shit. More I learn in life, the more I know what I'm not, and am thankful for it too :)

My only issue, really, is the things that people are living with every day, but not really seeing. Men and women, neither are evil or bad, but when they "fight", women get hurt. Men get yelled at, a lot more often. What a luxary. And what man fears getting raped going to the grocery store? Not so many. Men are more violent, and I think we've all living a lie in thinking it's not a problem for a LOT of women, and not just women, in a lot of ways and in a lot of attitudes.

Take slavery. That used to be commonly accepted practice too. Now, even where it's practiced, it's not exactly held up as a model of civilization and progress. That has changed, in human history, the world over. I think culture attitudes about the roles and lives of men and women need to change too. For the entire human race to progress. It hurts too many people, and it doesn't matter if it's mostly women. Trust me guys when I say the pain is not inconsiderable for many in many situations. In the end..it still hurts everyone. And women shouldn't be walking around the world over thinking they deserve it, somehow, because of Eve or because we're smaller and weaker and don't have as many fist fights or screaming fights with our bosses or many other petty ego-boosting typical male attitudes which, in the admin, are rampant and getting WORSE right now, and not better. Our government.

I guess, just to point out that this admin is typical in it's woman-hating attitudes, and it's definitely an issue to fight. One to understand, understand better now than ever before, perhaps.Understand that, at the heart of many anti-abortion efforts, which many women feel aren't so bad, is a goal of removing/discouraging birth control altogether. It's easy to miss that fact, and it's not only not said, it's a fairly well hidden agenda. But it's an old one, and it's one we REALLY need to see. Both sexes. Understand what the woman hating woman-issue hating is all about, where it comes from. And what it does. It hurts. It's my humble opinion that many men do not understand how and in what ways we're hurt, by others of their gender, and by social attitudes overall. They seem to have real ego problems dealing with the fact that, though few men are monsters...the vast majority of monsters ARE men, and much of the monstrosity is directed toward women. It's not a fun fact, but to deny it is to misunderstand the problem, and so, the problems continue.

It's not that the species can't survive that way. But I question the worth and realized potential of such a survival. We're to compete, survival of the fittest? Then...why cripple half your human resource? Makes no sense. And now is NOT a good time to be messing around with nonsense. Things are bad, and likely to get much worse. Time to get real.
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spuddonna Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 02:13 PM
Response to Reply #71
74. "What man fears getting raped going to the grocery store?"
That's almost a direct quote from a conversation I had with my husband and brother-in-law.

They were both offended that they were being lumped in with the 'other bad men' when I told them that if I didn't know them, and was walking alone at night, I would automatically assume the worst - that they were a threat. I was accused of stereotyping!

I think that's a big part of the problem. It's easier for guys to assume it's just a 'few bad people', and not a social problem. Men who are progressive seem to be defensive, and the guys that are pigs, are pigs, so talking to them is like smacking your head against a brick wall...

And I totally agree with you that this administration is out to destroy all birth control. There are many conservatives who want to return us to the 'golden' 1950's, complete with back-alley abortions and ALL mothers as stay-at-home moms... Look at Sanitorum, the chain pharmacies refusing to dispense birth control pills... it goes on and on...



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Macadian Donating Member (156 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-16-05 01:33 PM
Response to Reply #7
60. Very disheartening....
I'm not saying you are wrong, because I don't have any data to back up either opinion and because I know that some men are capable of pretty heinous behavior.

But as a man, I find it very disheartening to think that most men would act this way.

I can say for a fact that I have stuck it out through many difficult issues as or more serious than what you have touched on.

I don't think I'm noble or special for doing that. It was simply the right thing to do. That's the way I was raised.

My brother's wife had cancer and he has stayed devoted to her.

I'm hoping you are wrong, but worried that you may be correct.
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Blue Belle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 12:55 PM
Response to Reply #7
72. It does happen...
When my Sister was diagnosed with cancer, her husband bailed too. She beat it though (the cancer, not the husband)... but the whole experience just showed me that the "For better or worse, in sickness and in health" seems an easy promise to keep when the phrase is uttered, but harder when the follow through needs to be applied. Has our society really become that disosable?
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Imagevision Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 12:56 PM
Response to Original message
8. That's good news for Cindy - she'll be stronger still and shut him up!
But watch Fox etc. go after him for; "The inside Story" seriously, RW bad mothing/smearing Cindy Sheehan doesn't seem to be doing diddly-squat!
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BattyDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 01:05 PM
Response to Original message
12. I read that many marriages end in divorce after the death of a child.
I don't have any statistics, but I remember reading an article about it a while back. The grief rips people apart. Cindy seems to have found comfort in her activism and in meeting other people who have gone through the same thing she has - it's too bad her husband can't find the same kind of comfort in something. I hope they both can put their lives back together at some point. It's really a sad situation and what makes it worse is the fact that it DIDN'T have to happen this way. Their son would still be alive if * didn't start an illegal war! :-( :mad:

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Syncronaut Seven Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 01:22 PM
Response to Original message
14. So, Cindy will be single soon? She's a hell of a woman, compassionate
Kind, Intelligent, motivated and not a bad looker either! Perhaps she could do better than a husband who bails when the going gets tough.

She's a good person Cindy, she's touched a lot of lives in a very positive way. I don't see here as coming out anywhere but on top.
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Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 01:26 PM
Response to Original message
15. OMG she's being divorced
that MUST mean she is wrong about everything she says and does. It PROVES she is a traitor and supports terrorists. :sarcasm:


What is it with these fucks? They really are stuck in a fantasy 1955 television show aren't they?

Hey lady! Get your pearls and apron back on and go home and take care of your man.
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TheFarseer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 12:32 PM
Response to Reply #15
70. I wonder if Rush is trumpeting this
after his, what is it, three divorces?
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Roland99 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 01:28 PM
Response to Original message
16. So much for the "gift" * gave them of getting them together on that trip
I'm sure the right-wing talking heads are going to have a field day with this. Assholes.
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sendero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 01:49 PM
Response to Original message
20. Marriages fail..
.... even without a dreadful event like losing a child.

I feel sorry for both of them, and hope that each can find peace and happiness.
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windbreeze Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:34 PM
Response to Original message
26. I can tell you this....
The death of a child accidentally, or in any manner...especially in an illegal war, obviously placed a stress on their marriage, that can't be measured...this is NOT the first time, such happenings have resulted in a divorce...and I don't understand why it's such a big deal, because it's happening in Cindy's life (other than the sorrow it brings to hear they couldn't deal with his death, and it's come to this)..IF it's considered bad timing...WHY???...It just shows the depths of suffering the loss of this child has caused for this family...that his death won't be the only disaster they face, as a result....His death was the stone thrown in the pond...the rings will continue, until they reach a shore...how long that takes, is anyone's guess..Cindy/her husband have not come together in their grieving...so sad..unfortunately...these are the continuing disasters, no one can preconceive happening...
windbreeze
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caledesi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:56 PM
Response to Original message
27. And how many other spouses divorced because of losing their
sons or daughters or spouses that have gotten divorced simply bec of this illegal war and not having their spouse around for years!

Oh, that's right - they aren't protesting.
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Rebellious Republican Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:57 PM
Response to Original message
28. Are Cindy and Husband Practicing Catholics? If so, and he is
Anti abortion, pro life, pro family value, pro Bush, and a Republican Catholic. How is this possible that he would go against everything his President and the Pope hold sacred. I thought all good catholics were against Divorce. Don't do as I do, do as I say, how republican!

Cindy, we love you, you are better off without these hypocrites.

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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 04:43 PM
Response to Reply #28
34. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
Rebellious Republican Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 05:24 PM
Response to Reply #34
39. Well.........
Edited on Mon Aug-15-05 06:09 PM by Rebellious Republica
Here is the first clue....

Begged her son not to go to war
Sheehan, a Catholic youth minister for eight years, never wanted Casey to join the military. She said he did after being misled by his recruiter. Although he also opposed the war, he didn't try to back out.
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/8909497/

Here is the second clue....

The Sheehans were active members of their Roman Catholic churches, first in the Southern California community of Norwalk, and then in Vacaville, the town halfway between Sacramento and San Francisco where they moved when Casey was 14.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050813/ap_on_re_us/peace_mom_son

So now I ask again, is he a practicing republican catholic? If the answer is yes, then he is a f**king hypocrite!

To answer your f**king question, no one died and left me king. I asked some simple F**king questions.

Where in the hell did John Kerry come into this?

"Maybe you should remember that John Kerry is Catholic, is a Democrat and was divorced".

I know all about John Kerry, I helped with his campaign in my area, I am also a decorated Navy Veteran for John Kerry.
I have met and shook hands with both him and Edwards while they were in my city campaigning.

First of all JK, is not a hypocrite, he is a very humble person and does not say "do as I say not as I do", that would be considered hypocritical. He speaks from his heart and does not wear his religion on his sleeve! I doubt that you have ever met the man, other wise you would already know this to be true. So do not put words in my mouth. That is very republican like, do you not agree?

"Don't recall seeing you slam Catholics during the last election"
Why would I slam catholics, most of the ones I know personally are very genuine caring people, and what elections are taking place currently? I do not slam anyone that is not a hypocrite, I detest lying, contradictory hypocrites.

"People like you give liberals a bad name". I think that people who speak out of their ass without knowing the facts give liberals a bad name.

Now go back and reread the post before jumping to conclusions.You make yourself look bad.

Now, that I am done with my reply to your obvious flame, rant, reply. I do offer my apologies if I have in some way offended your choice of worship and religious beliefs. But try not to just fly off the handle before you post next time.
























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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 06:33 PM
Response to Reply #39
42. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
Rebellious Republican Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 07:51 PM
Response to Reply #42
44. my we are self righteous and arrogant , you have all the answers
Edited on Mon Aug-15-05 08:06 PM by Rebellious Republica
or so you think. Sorry if I burst your ego trip with some facts.

Now I will point out several other fallacies with your freeperesque style of attack. She just stated on Hardball that "her side of the family was Democrat and the other side was Republican".

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=132&topic_id=2011543&mesg_id=2011565


Point in case, my sister (not even a spouse or in-law) blood family, proclaims to be a registered Democrat. Her and her husband are in the Air Force, yet you should hear her spew forth the right wing bile on que just as it is scripted on Fox!

So I suppose his political beliefs and values could lean more toward a Zell Miller style of Democrat?

Man you have all the RW tactics down to an art form, you keep telling me things I think,that I have not said. Drop the "I think Kerry is a hypocrite" crap. It is not working, I have responded to that already.

Show me in my post where I "labeled all divorced Catholics as "f**king hypocrites", you can't, because I did not! Once again you show your true self by putting words in my post, you should write for some of the RW media, your good, very very good.

Oh yes and I forgot that I called him a jerk as well, no disputing that why its right there in my post, in black and white, jeesh!

"You make me sick.

Oh, and nice touch ADDING the pretty pictures of all those medals. You haven't shown them in past posts. Is that supposed to impress me in some way????

Sorry. It didn't work.

I respect and honor your service to this country, but it doesn't make you any better than anyone else and has nothing to do with this thread."

Thats kind of a backhanded complement, very much like some conservatives I know

Usually I do not post them unless I am having another discussion with a vet, or posting to a military related thread, The only other times I pull them out is when someone questions where my loyalties are.

Yes they are pretty aren't they, what have you done in defense of freedom from religious persecution, ya know, the right to worship any faith of your choice. Or not worship at all for that matter.

Yes they had as much to with this thread as you bringing in Kerry to this conversation. You implied that I thought Kerry was a hypocrite, point was to let you know I supported him when the Swifties were attacking him. He needed Veterans support to counter their lies!

"Bullsh!t. You have shown no respect for Catholics. I myself am agnostic, but I respect my Catholic family and friends too much to let this sort of crap pass without comment".

I guess you did not read the whole reply,ya know, the comments I made about my personal friends that are catholics, cherry picking, that sounds familiar, who uses tactics like that I wonder!






























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Macadian Donating Member (156 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-16-05 11:45 AM
Response to Reply #44
56. No ego here.
You can't slam Patrick Sheehan for being Catholic and divorced without slamming all divorced Catholic men.

I attempted to demonstrate this by pulling Kerry (a divorced Catholic we both respect) into the argument.

Understand?

Again. Cindy stated that Patrick AGREED with her position, but not her approach. How you can conclude that he is a Zell Miller is beyond me. What are you basing that on? Simply the fact that he filed for divorce? Show me some facts and stop "putting words" in Patrick's mouth.

Sorry, they didn't issue any pretty medals for my contributions (in both time and money) toward organizing, demonstrating and promoting liberal causes. Would it convince you if they did? Doubtful.

And I love how you suggest that I am a "freeperesque", "RW", "conservative". Nice touch of McCarthyism.

Better read this quick. I'm sure your admin pal will be deleting it soon. God forbid anyone on this board should voice an opinion you don't agree with.
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Rebellious Republican Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-16-05 04:18 PM
Response to Reply #56
63. Well I guess I need to go back and re read everything,
"God forbid anyone on this board should voice an opinion you don't agree with".

You really have me confused with that one. Seems to me I posted a reply to RobertSeattle not Macadian.

Are you operating with two pseudonyms on DU? I do not recall saying anything to you at all, even though you do have other posts on this thread.

I did not go looking to flame you for any of your opinions posted on this thread or anywhere else on this board, ever.

However I have spent a lot of time defending my posts on this thread from your relentless attacks.

Seems to me you have it back wards,you are the one that attacked my reply to someone else!

Just remember, opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.




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Macadian Donating Member (156 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 08:49 AM
Response to Reply #63
67. You won't be able to read past posts.
Most of my posts on this sub-thread have been 'deleted'.

My comment that "God forbid anyone on this board should voice an opinion you don't agree with" was really directed at the admin and not you specifically. My mistake for using the confusing 'royal you'.

Look, my initial objection was your unfair (IMHO) ripping on Patrick Sheehan. In my mind, labeling Patrick as a rabid Republican because he filed for divorce is as bad as any of the personal attacks the right has made on Cindy for being in Crawford.

I also objected to the callous way you tossed the Pope into the mix in chastising Patrick (and by association, all divorced Catholics men) as a hypocrite for having filled for divorce. This smacks of anti-Catholic sentiment.

Subsequent irrelevant squabbles on Kerry and medals were just meaningless collateral clap-trap from both of us.

And no, I don't have any other pseudonyms on DU. I'm sure the Lord Admin could cross check IPs and verify this. Do many people do that?
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Rebellious Republican Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 05:30 PM
Response to Reply #67
78. I can see your point...
I can say that my initial post was unfair, it was a knee jerk reaction. I am like many on this board, I just want to protect this angel of mercy, named Cindy Sheehan.

I have no first hand knowledge of her husband or their marital problems, and can say that it was unfair to vilify him. Like I said to another poster on this board, we really have no business prying into their marital problems.

Yes I can see how you my post may have offended you.

P.S. I would not take having your posts deleted to hard, I have had posts deleted my self in the past. At least we have not been tomb stoned, so they (yours or mine) must not have been to offensive to the admin.
I believe they do it just to keep many others from jumping in and starting huge flame wars, which could potentially be very disruptive to DU as a whole.

So, I would say, keep on posting, even though we may not all agree with each other from time to time, I do believe that open debate is good and healthy. See ya round the forums, hopefully on some issues that we DO agree on.

:think:
:toast:
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ChiciB1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 06:49 PM
Response to Reply #39
43. Hey.... I Really Liked Your Reply
Personally, it's ONLY the Repukes who are going to pump this for ALL IT'S WORTH!

I hardly think any of US hear should be jumping into Cindy's marriage or problems thereof! If her husband is doing this because of her views, I suppose it has a LOT to do with his parents. And then of course, as many hear have said far too many people who go through traumatic situations are UNABLE to re-kindle after the episode!

I've heard many many times, that when a woman is raped her husband who can't deal with it simply up and leaves. It's called the "human condition" and we ALL aren't alike!

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Rebellious Republican Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 07:59 PM
Response to Reply #43
45. Thanks ChiciB1, you make a valid point, you are right, her marital
Edited on Mon Aug-15-05 07:59 PM by Rebellious Republica
problems really are none of our business. I stand humbly corrected, I feel an intense sense to protect Cindy, I know of her grief from a personal perspective. I feel for her and like many, want only to stand vigil over her. Thanks for the reality check.

:hide:

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ChiciB1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 08:32 PM
Response to Reply #45
48. AAAWWWW That Wasn't Really A Dig At You...
Just a personal reflection. You know HOW much the Repukes hate anyone messin' with "personal issues"!!!! HEEEE-HAAAW!



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deadparrot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:58 PM
Response to Original message
29. Uh...yeah, knew that.
Sometimes marriages don't work, especially in the wake of a child's DEATH.
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cyberpj Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 04:09 PM
Response to Original message
30. Divorce is not uncommon after loss of child - only the TIMING of THIS
particular filing.

With BushCo - everything is suspect.

(Can we offer to pay your legal fees if you just file NOW sir?.....so we can get it into our corporate press?.....)
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HootieMcBoob Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 04:20 PM
Response to Original message
31. Cindy Sheehan's Response
Leave my family alone
by CindySheehan
Mon Aug 15th, 2005 at 04:44:40 EDT

I apparently am the sacrificial lamb of the peace movement. I don't care about myself. Putting myself in the forefront and daring to challenge the president on his lies left myself open to the attacks. Which are, of course, half truths and distortions.

When they start sliming my home life and my family, that's where I draw the line. Yes, my husband has filed for divorce and yes he filed before I left for the VFP Convention and this trip to Crawford and yes IT IS BETWEEN MY HUSBAND AND I.

Having Casey murdered in Iraq by George Bush's reckless policies has been hard enough on my family, but me setting off on my holy war to bring the troops home, my constant absences, and all of the media attention has put additional stresses on my family.

I chose my path after Casey died. The rest of the family has chosen theirs. We all still love each other and support each other in anything that we do. We didn't want Casey to join the Army, but once he made that decision, we supported him and even encouraged him through boot camp.


The whole thing is here:http://dailykos.com/storyonly/2005/8/15/44440/6234

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ecoflame Donating Member (268 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 04:44 PM
Response to Reply #31
35. It's between her & her husband - no one else
My sister & her husband lost their only children (two) in a car accident. I'm surprised they've managed to stay together; it's been almost 10 years.

A friend of mine who had breast cancer, dying eventually, her husband went to support group for men (spouses). He was shocked that there were only 3 of them. He was even more shocked when he learned how many men leave their wives when they become seriously ill.
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bobbieinok Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 02:22 PM
Response to Reply #35
75. didn't Newt serve divorce papers on 1st wife while she had cancer +
was in hospital??

didn't Dole do something similar to 1st wife after she helped nurse him thru his WWII wounds?
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roguevalley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 05:14 PM
Response to Original message
37. lots of marriages don't survive the death of a child.
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Blue_Roses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 08:01 PM
Response to Original message
46. WHO THE FUCK CARES???
It's HER business!!:mad:
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woo me with science Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-16-05 01:12 PM
Response to Reply #46
59. thank you. nt
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Catchawave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 08:15 PM
Response to Original message
47. Tell ya what guys....
This "divorce" has nothing to do with Cindy "today". I'm sure there were problems in this marriage before Casey's death, and the rw media is just eating this all up with a spoon. And yes, it's none of their business!

As far as the other son "needing her home", that's BS too, he's 21 and old enough not to need his mommy 24/7. Geesh.

Otherwise, this personal spin from our "fair and balanced" media friends is just bullsh*t, bullsh*t, bullsh*t.
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whatever4 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-16-05 09:49 AM
Response to Reply #47
53. And they try to do what they do best
Edited on Tue Aug-16-05 09:50 AM by whatever4
Which is to pick on the weak. Those that can't fight back or speak for themselves. They fail to realize she isn't weak. Not anymore. My mind thinks she feels like she has nothing left to lose. Now, what she does and why she does it is all about stopping it from happening to others. Those motivations are a lot harder to take away than the selfish one's of this admin. They do not understand it.

They think that to pick on her personally is going to hurt her. They just don't understand that the most important things have already been taken, and there's just nothing else they can do or say to hurt her. She's past hurt. Lost my marriage and you all laugh at me? Well yuck it up; I lost my SON and nothing you could possibly say about me or my marriage matters. That's my take on it.

They don't get that. They cannot relate to the depth of that feeling, and many are so twisted, they don't even trust the sincerity of it. They don't believe she's grieving. Too weird, eh? The types that would teach their grandmothers to suck eggs. When they, the planners, realize the gambit isn't working after a few days, they'll probably stop. It will take a little while for them to register the extreme distaste of those that hear this story. They'll have to reevaluate, when the ordinary reactions of ordinary citizens shows them for the monsters they are.
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Catchawave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-16-05 10:50 AM
Response to Reply #53
54. With hopes the desecration of the roadside crosses
becomes a wake up call for the rw media, and this comes back to bite them in the ass !

Even Imus, the guy we love to hate, won't let his guests slam Cindy for the simple reason, she's motivated by the loss of a child, not politics. Why did my son die for a lie, should resonate loudly amongst moms everywhere, not just ruining Bush's vacation :)

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whatever4 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 12:22 PM
Response to Reply #54
68. I agree with you, completely nm
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Imagevision Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-16-05 11:19 AM
Response to Original message
55. msm desperate for anything considered negative against Cindy
Won't matter-don't matter - RW haven't been able to put a dent in the Cindy machine - can't wait until she arrives in Washington so myself and others can show support for this superwoman!
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Hippo_Tron Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-16-05 11:50 AM
Response to Original message
57. Ronnie Raygun was divorced, so big fucking deal
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demo dutch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-16-05 11:51 AM
Response to Original message
58. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do in life, and you lose people
along the way. I imagine that Cindy has taken a completely different turn, and the couple has simply grown apart.
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Gyre Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-16-05 06:37 PM
Response to Original message
65. Patty must be a real prick.
Cause his timing is really bad. 'Nother selfish little baby; that's an inescapable conclusion from this maneuver at this particular time.

Gyre
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ret5hd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-16-05 08:02 PM
Response to Original message
66. didn't newt gingrich ditch his wife while she was hospitalized for CANCER?
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benburch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 12:56 PM
Response to Original message
73. We interrupt this thread...

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Stryguy Donating Member (163 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-17-05 02:34 PM
Response to Original message
77. It's very common for marriages to end when children die.
This is a very common occurance according to a study I did back in 1997. The younger the age of the child who died and the more violent the death the more likely the marriage will end in divorce. I believe my study agreed with several other studies revealed. I, as well as other researchers I discussed this with, were not suprised.

Reasons were numerous. While I don't have a copy with me I recall the number one reason being differences in how people deal with the stress and grieving process. Some people would blame themselves and withdraw from the marriage emotionally. Others would become overly dependent or perhaps even blame the other parent.

Anyone who's married can attest to the difficulties that a ho-hum everyday life can bring into their marriage. Toss in war, death, a parent who maybe pushed the other child into the armed services (likely during a time of peace) and whalla. You've got an fissure in a marriage that can easily lead down the path to divorce.

Saddest thing is. Most of these divoces occurred with spouses saying they still loved eachother. Just couldn't see themselves with that other person anymore. It's like their lives were partially torn apart and they just wanted to finish ripping off the bandaid.

Life is a lot more complicated than most of us think.
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