A political joke - we need a laugh: How many Bush Administration officials

[Nothing Without Hope]

does it take to screw in a light bulb?

John at AmericaBlog posted two alternative answers a few days ago, one apparently by him and one emailed to him by a reader. (http://americablog.blogspot.com/2005/08/how-many-bush-administration-officials.html)

Answer #1 (John's answer): NONE

Nothing is wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day.

Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media.

That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect.

Why do you hate freedom?

Answer #2 (emailed to John but he likes it better than his own answer, #1): TEN

1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs
to be changed;

3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;

4. One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret
stockpile of light bulbs;

5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the
new light bulb;

6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor,
standing on a step ladder under the banner: Light Bulb Change Accomplished;

7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting
in detail how Bush was literally in the dark;

8. One to viciously smear #7;

9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush
has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along;

10. And finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between
screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

Feel free to come up with your own answers. Like I said, we need a laugh break, and jokes at the expense of the neocons can be useful in spreading the progressive message as well as funny.

[K8-EEE]

1. Recommended And THANK YOU FOR THE LAUGH!!

Nothing is funny unless it it fundamentally true, and this is hilarious.

[alfredo]

2. Sorry, divulging that information will provide

aid and comfort to our enemies.

[Nothing Without Hope]

3. Humor is serious business for political progressives, you know:

Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its only sure defense. -–Mark Twain

And boy would Sam Clemens ever have despised THIS guy:



I'll add a few more cartoons later - feel free to do the same. We need the laugh break and as Sam and I said, irreverence is also a serious business for folks like us

[Hekate]

19. SMARMY indeed!

:rofl:

Hekate

[RevCheesehead]

4. Hope does it again!

Keeping our spirits up in difficult times. :hug:

How are ya, sweetie? :hi:

[Nothing Without Hope]

6. Hey, Cheese! So good to see you! You get more CARTOONS!

"To The Ties That Bind!" :toast: I'm fair to partly cloudy - hope you and your family - furry and un - are doing well.

These three great cartoons were found recently at www.AllHatNoCattle.net:

[burrowowl]

16. Beautiful!

Is it really BU$H in the ditch!?!
And does he tink he is Napoleon? Are his drugs giving him indigestion!?!

[Richard Steele]

5. ROFL! Recommended.

[FogerRox]

7. yes ditto

[dweller]

8. stupid Repukes ...

the dim bulb is IN the WH.

dp

[Mr_Spock]

9. He's a criminal - lawyer - not too redundant, eh?

Judy Tenuda. Similar to "stupid Repukes" - it's redundant :rofl:

[Nothing Without Hope]

10. The 59 comments on this at AmericaBlog have some doozies.

Here are two I came across early in the list:

Don't you mean "screw UP a light bulb?" --Eli Stephens


How about:

None because...

Electromagnetism is only a theory.
cope

I won't quote more because you'll have more fun looking yourself. (The permalink for the blog entry is in the OP.)

[FormerRepublican]

11. LOL! Two jokes on DU tonight that made me laugh like mad!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Nothing Without Hope]

12. Another cartoon, a touching portrait of our POTUS with Lance Armstrong:

[Nothing Without Hope]

13. Here's an ebay auction that may interest you. (Alas, bidding has ended.)

Karl Rove is Toast -- with Don King Hair !!!!!

Here's the auction - pretty good price, and I like the name of the winner!
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5599303357

Looking closely, I see a green frog - maybe that represents the frogmarching...hmm...sorta makes one reconsider taking up a craft. Be sure to read the item description, it's a classic. Among other things, we learn that it was made with "wry" bread, which seems appropriate, and that this object should last centuries with normal care. There's also a much bigger picture and a much, MUCH larger picture of the "Rove Toast" as well as an annoucement for a Conyers event and this Oliphant cartoon, which I recall looking at with appreciation when it first came out:

http://members.aol.com.nyud.net:8090/omniguts/oliphant.jpg

[Nothing Without Hope]

14. Here's my parting contribution for the night - two of my favorite recent

cartoons. The first is a Dilbert cartoon that truly captures the dilemma of our Poodle Press allowing so many lies and suppressions to pass unquestioned:



And the second is from Tom Tomorrow, and it addresses a related problem - the Kool-Aid drinking know-nothing sheeple who WILL NOT open their minds to the truth. Its title is Averting Their Eyes. It's at the Working For Change site here: http://www.workingforchange.com/comic.cfm?itemid=19510

Like the best political humor always is - it's both hilarious and absolutely, dead-on true.

[rosesaylavee]

21. Wonderful!

Nominated. Thanks for the laugh.

[wakemewhenitsover]

15. Bushies DON'T change light bulbs, they just spin them.

[nicknameless]

17. Thank you for the much-needed laugh!! ... My earlier * laugh of the week:

http://www.peacecandy.com/gwbush/dishonestdubya/

Dishonest Dubya Lying Action Figure
From FraudCo
with pretzel-retching action

He's remote controlled, comes with 4 different outfits, and will lie, say something stupid or choke on a pretzel at the click of a button.
(14 actual idiotic/dishonest * quotes included.)
"Peeance freeance!" :D

[NMMNG]

18. Answer: None

No light bulbs are needed because in Genesis 1:3 God said "Let there be light, and there was light". We should not be so audacious as to use science to play God and make artifical light. :sarcasm:



Thanks for the great joke in the OP btw.

[radfringe]

20. my suggestions:

Pat Robertson joined Jerry Falwell in a "let there be light" conference. They denied the existence of lightbulbs and stated "it's intelligent illumination..." Responding to protests from the religious right - GE announces they are dropping their slogan "we bring good things to light".

Scott McClellan to report that there are no lightbulbs in or on Bush's desk and he is unable to comment further citing on going investigations into leaks of alleged lightbulbs

Condi Rice to appear on news-blather shows stating "they hate our lightbulbs"

Republican Congress passes 3.8 billion dollar bill aimed at subsidizing lightbulb production. Mushroom growers protest - stating they want to be left in the dark and suggest money could be better spent on boosting manure supplies.

Bush reveals super-secret-double-hush-hush intelligence reports that lightbulbs have been found in Iran and all options are on the table.

Cheney links lightbulbs to 9-11 hijackers.. "lightbulbs were found in the apartments of the hijackers..."

Homeland Security issues warning: Be alert for suspicious lightbulbs.

and from Wall Street: Amid reports of a lightbulb shortage - stocks tumbled

[knitter4democracy]

22. My answer

"Is the bulb burnt out? Why, yes it is. Will we get the perpetrator or perpetrators who did this? Yes, we will. Do we know where they are? Yes, we do. They are either in or out of the country, either dead or alive. We'll get back to you on that."

--Rumsfeldian answer

[Peace Patriot]

23. I don't have any answers, but I do have some questions:

How many Bush regime officials does it take the screw the maintenance man who has to change the light bulbs out of his pension?

How many Bush regime officials does it take to outsource every job connected with manufacturing light bulbs?

How many Bush regime officials does it take for the country to forget how to screw in a light bulb?

How many Bush regime officials does it take the screw the Enlightenment?

[IndyOp]

24. On PP's theme...

How many leaders of how many foreign countries need to be assassinated to ensure US dominance of world lightbulb markets?

How many no-bid contracts can we give to Halliburton-KBK-Carlyle under the guise of dealing with this lightbulb crisis?

How can we explain to the 'Murican people that the rich need tax cuts and that we must destroy social security, public education, and all other public services to fund the lightbulb crisis?

And of course:

How long can we use this make believe lightbulb crisis to prevent people from realizing that we are the same incompetent, deceitful team in charge of the voting machines?

[Nothing Without Hope]

26. so true. There's just seems to be no end of the damage they have

done, but then you think of what more damage they would do if allowed to and you see you have to move on to a whole different sense of magnitude.

We must stop them and heal what they have done.

[Independent_Liberal]

25. LOL!

:D

[CBHagman]

27. My answer.

How many Bush administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: None, because they won't make any changes. An administration official will, however, talk for 15 minutes -- on background, of course -- about how a light bulb can burn out at any time! And it has no regard for human life! And it leaves innocent men, women, and children in the dark!

[Nothing Without Hope]

28. Yes, light bulbs can't be trusted! Electromagnetism is just a theory!

Electricians are agents of Satan!

[Nothing Without Hope]

29. Don't miss this extremely funny current thread;

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x4497461
Thread title: Invisible People Seen In Crawford

[librechik]

30. none; they prefer operating in the dark and besides

they haven't had a new idea in years.

:think:

[Wizard777]

31. Poor Lil Light bulb. It's actually 15. Maybe more?

11. One to Say "We didn't know" light bulbs could burn out. How can anyone foresee a light bulb being used for darkness?

12. One to change the name of Operation Incandescent Lighting to Operation Irreversibly Fried.

13. One to be Shocked.

14. One to be Awed.

15. One to say it would be unwise to try to remove the light bulb from the socket at this point.

[Wizard777]

32. This just in. #16

One to say, "I can see the future as clear as the past." Damn it's dark in here. Let's go to a smaller room and try to do a light bulb change there instead.

[Nothing Without Hope]

33. kick - a laugh for a sad, sad time n/t

[WilliamCash]

34. Very funny!

Made me laugh out loud this morning over my coffee!

Love the one about Bush in his coveralls standing on the step ladder, light bulb in hand. Do you think he could even do it himself?