U.S. Gun Manufacturers Win Right to Sue Shooting Victims

[IChing]

By Ion Zwitter, Avant News Editor
Washington, D.C., April 12, 2006

A controversial law passed yesterday by the Republican-dominated U.S. House of Representatives will give gun manufacturers the right to sue both perpetrators and victims of shootings for "defamatory product misuse". This new measure follows on the heels of a new "blank slate" law passed in 2005 absolving gun manufacturers of any legal liability in the event that their products, no matter how small, powerful, or easily concealed, obtained or abused, are used in the perpetration of violent crimes.

Spokesmen for both the National Rifle Association and major weapons manufacturers hailed the new law as "a victory for law-abiding makers of peaceful, recreational, easily-concealed high-velocity assault weaponry" and welcomed it by firing revolvers into the ceiling of Congress, causing minor damage. Two democratic congressmen were killed in the revelry.


The new law, which passed by a lopsided 283-144 vote, states that perpetrators who use a gun in the commission of a violent crime are guilty of "defamatory product misuse"; essentially, giving the gun and its manufacturer a "bad name" by using it in a way other than ostensibly intended, thus potentially causing negative publicity for the manufacturer.

>>>>snip
http://www.avantnews.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=148

Ok it's satire but........

[mermaid]

1. Please Tell Me This Is A Fucking Joke!!

please tell me it's satire...

Jesus, imagine getting fucking SHOT...and then, to add insult to injury, sued because you got shot by some asshole??
:wtf:

[IChing]

2. I said it was satire, but really couldn't this be the next step?

with this congress? I liked the dark irony of the piece, sorry if I scared you

[DBoon]

10. Well Oprah was sued under a Texas "veggie libel" law

this doesn't seem so insane

[beam me up scottie]

12. If they thought they could get away with it,

I have no doubt this would be the next step.

[OKDem08]

14. They're spinning this issue.

I heard my Repub Senator, Jim Inhofe, commenting on the bill
on the local RW talk radio, characterizing this as a victory for 2nd amendment proponents & as a defeat against liberals 'who want to make firearms illegal'. Still shocked at the mischaracterization, lies, and deceit. This is so contrary to the actual nature of the bill.

[beam me up scottie]

4. Read some more...

Billy B. Boomer, spokesman for the National Rifle Association, hailed the passage of the defamatory product misuse law as a victory for law-abiding gun owners and manufacturers throughout the United States.

"It's about time Congress started protecting the interests of our members in the NRA," he said. "Look, guns don't kill people, people do. And sometimes dogs or children. It's not the gun's fault that someone gets killed or wounded when some jackass shoots some other jackass, it's the jackasses fault. Faults. And yet, every time some psycho teenager shoots the hell out of some hick village high school cafeteria, we're the ones who get all the blame. We're the ones who get all the abuse. It's just not fair. And finally, thanks to our Republican supporters in Washington, there's something we can do about it."

"I couldn't agree more," said Kip Dipschlitz, Senior Manager at Smith & Wesson, a major manufacturer of small arms and assorted weaponry. "Look, if you're dumb enough to be walking around the streets late at night or in the afternoon, or to go to church looking weak and pasty and victimlike, of course someone's going to shoot you. It's just common sense. And like Boomer said, who pays the price for that? We do. But not any more. Thank you, Washington."

[IChing]

7. I thought it was great satire.

I couldn't agree more statement : is how they really think.

[beam me up scottie]

9. It is brilliant.

Thanks for posting this.

[DemInDistress]

3. what about car makers and drug makers ?

will they be able to push the same rules for themselves?

[IChing]

6. Yes why not unsafe at any speed, exploding pinto gastanks,

firestone tire blowouts, ford explorer rollovers, they should be able to sue the victim because of the derogatory news that would ruin the product image of the corporation

yes satire

[depakid]

8. That's exactly where it's going

and unfortunately, too many DU'rs are blind to that fact, because one at a time, these special rights and immunities affect their pet causes- whether they be gun fetishes or junk food addictions.

[IChing]

15. Drug makers just got a bill passed==NO SATIRE-

that is close to this satire piece, shit...someone just posted it.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x5131176

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. LOL! Good for them!

:7

[madrchsod]

11. bubba?

really clever writing..!

[beam me up scottie]

13. Hey, don't laugh.

I know plenty of guys called Bubba.

Seriously.

Too many, actually.

Hell, one is too many.

I have to move.

[Humor_In_Cuneiform]

16. To be fair, Shooting Victims Win Right to Shoot Manufacturers,

provided, naturally, they are still alive.











;)

[bustarbusto]

17. Thanks for the feedback, folks!

Thought you might like to know the site is run by a fellow DUer.

Cheers,

bustarbusto (a.k.a. Ion Zwitter)

[beam me up scottie]

18. No kidding???

Way to go!
:applause:

Consider it bookmarked and linked!

[beam me up scottie]

19. Your site totally rocks!

Creationist Paleontologists Discover Dinosaur Saddle

By Ion Zwitter, Avant News Editor
Mud Flaps, Arizona, March 29, 2006

A team of creationist paleontologists from the Discovery Institute's main field research arm announced today that they had discovered the remains of a large manmade object confirmed to be an ancient dinosaur saddle. The Discovery Institute's discovery was discovered in the remote Dusty Rivers area of southwestern Arizona. A spokesman for the paleontological team said that the dinosaur saddle provides irrefutable proof that man and dinosaurs lived simultaneously, as predicted by most creationist or "intelligent design" doctrines.

"I can't tell you how thrilled we all were to stumble upon this groundbreaking historical find," said Dr. K. Firth Booble, leader of the expedition. "We knew there had to be some evidence for man-dinosaur concurrence buried somewhere around here, but didn't think we'd discover it so quickly."

Dr. Booble, who received his doctorate in paleontology from the respected Holy Patriot!™ Bible University and Correspondence College of Claptrappe, Oklahoma, had embarked on the search, funded by a $2 million Discovery Institute grant, expecting to remain in the field for at least two years. The dinosaur saddle was unearthed a mere two weeks after the expedition's launch.

AND THERE'S EVEN A PICTURE !!!


:rofl:

[bustarbusto]

20. Many thanks, beam.

Doing our best!

If you haven't checked out the Harriet Miers transcript, we've received some pretty positive feedback on it. It's a bit long - 17,000 words - but has its moments.

Harriet Miers Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings: Transcript