FEMA Getting Ice Ready for Hurricane Wilma

[IChing]

WASHINGTON (AP) Officials at The Federal Emergency Management Administration (FEMA) are shifting into high gear with preparations for Hurricane Wilma. Not to get caught unprepared like it was for previous disasters, FEMA has ordered hundreds of trucks carrying ice to start wandering around the country. This morning the first shipment of bagged ice from Arizona was already on its way to a remote native village in Alaska.

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said, “We are taking into account the possibility that Hurricane Wilma might change course and hit Alaska. That’s never happened before, but we don’t want to get caught with our pants down!”

Previously burned by the high cost of trucking ice around the country, FEMA now maintains its own fleet of refrigerated trucks and the ice plants that supply them. “We know we can run an ice business and trucking line much more efficiently than any of the outfits we used to deal with. Now we make ice year round so we can keep those trucks rolling on the interstates. We are also in negotiations to buy our own refinery so that we will have our own source of diesel fuel for our ice trucks. FEMA is slowly becoming a world leader in ice production,” said Secretary Chertoff.

Congress has approved the use of US Coast Guard icebreakers to chip off huge icebergs in the arctic and tow them to Chicago. FEMA officials are planning to use the Chicago icebergs as.......>>>snip
http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i9549&rating=5

[BlueEyedSon]

1. Wonder where they'll sent it this time...?

[underpants]

2. Meth? How is Meth going to help?

:bounce:

[sasquatch]

3. LOL

:rofl:

[Bernardo de La Paz]

4. "What's in the truck?"

[No Exit]

5. I just love the ice sagas "FEMA is becoming a world leader in

ice production", said Secretary Chertoff??

You're too modest, Sec. Chertoff! When you made that circuitous shipment of the ice for New Orleans--the one which ended with the ice stuck in Maine, of all places--you also clearly became a world leader in ice TRANSPORTATION!

[Bob3]

6. They need the ice to keep their gin and tonics cold

while they wait for the restaurants to reopen.

edited cause I can't spell - still geep (typo for keep) could make an interesting word.

[MaineDem]

7. Sorry, Mr Chertoff, but you're still shipping it from Maine

Duhhhh...I responded before I finished reading. When I got to the icebergs I finally got the point. :D

[IChing]

8. “We have it all figured out:

what leaves Chicago as multi-ton icebergs, will arrive in the Gulf of Mexico as handy sized ice cubes… and just look at all the fuel we will save!”