10 reasons why Gay Marriage should be illegal

[BlackVelvet04]

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong:

*1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
* 2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
* 3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
* 4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
* 5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
* 6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
* 7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
* 8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
* 9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
* 10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

;-)

[GreenPartyVoter]

1. *lol* I needed a laugh so badly tonight. Thanks!

[FreedomAngel82]

6. LOL

Some of those are really good. Especially Britney Spears. LOL.

[BlackVelvet04]

8. You're welcome.

[niyad]

2. will you give me permission to post this on my boards so my little trolls

can have their nightly coronaries?

thank you for the piece, it is wonderful.

[BlackVelvet04]

5. Sure....

use it anywhere you want. I copied it from my other message board.

[Nikki Stone 1]

3. Are these your own? Very clever!

:)

[BlackVelvet04]

7. No, wish I had

thought of these.


It came from here:
http://www.headwatersforum.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=1953

[babylonsister]

4. Thumbs up and nom! nt

[BlackVelvet04]

10. Thanks...

my very first nomination. :pals:

[MazeRat7]

9. Nice, witty, and just the kind of perspective we like...welcome to DU !!!!

[BlackVelvet04]

11. Thanks.

I read a lot more than I post.

[cynatnite]

12. #2 won't work...I know that for a fact...

I'm not gay, but I am left-handed. I've been a lefty since I can remember. My mom is right-handed, my sister is, my hubby is, all three kids are and most everyone in my family is...except I think there's a cousin that's a lefty, but I haven't seen her since we were kids.

I would think after hanging around all these righty's, I'd become one, too. But, nope, I'm still a lefty. :shrug: Go figure.

:rofl:

[TechBear_Seattle]

13. Recommended, and thanks for the chuckle! n/t

[madeline_con]

14. Gator Gay-Straight Alliance

It was originally:

12 Reasons
Submitted by Martin on February 18, 2004 - 03:05.
http://grove.ufl.edu/~ggsa/gaymarriage.html

[Momgonepostal]

15. Here's some proof the world is full of stupid people

Did you see the disclaimer at bottom of the page?

***NEW!*** Due to the slowly growing amount of emails we're receiving, we've decided to let the cat out of the bag: This list is sarcastic. We don't see how anyone could take our list seriously! We don't want people to get the wrong idea :) We hope to show how ludicrous the arguments against gay marriage really are, by explicitly stating the arguments... and letting the obvious conclusions from these arguments follow, which are clearly not accurate.

[madeline_con]

16. PUH leez!

You know they had to do it! There had to be a few morans who'd get all worked up...

[Momgonepostal]

18. I can't tell if you didn't understand me or I didn't understand you...

...but the stupid people I was referring to are the ones who wrote in because they missed the sarcasm, not the webmaster who wrote the disclaimer. Sad that there needs to be a disclaimer. I would think the meaning of the list should be obvious to everyone.

[madeline_con]

19. We both got it.. ... it's sad it was even necessary. :) n/t

[Momgonepostal]

35. Gotcha...sorry for the confusion!

[Maraya1969]

23. I wonder how many wrote and expressed their appreciation

for such a concise liturgy.

[proud2BlibKansan]

17. Awesome!!

May I borrrow this? I know a few fundies who really need to read it.

[BlackVelvet04]

28. absolutely.....help yourself n/t

[understandinglife]

20. ROFL!! Well done.

:rofl:


Peace.

[unblock]

21. 11) banana republicans prefer gays to be single and promiscuous

draw your own conclusions....

[Porcupine]

22. Gays should not be forced to suffer the way straight people do.

I currently think ALL marraige contracts should be illegal as the contracts vauge, unenforcable and the law is not applied equally to all citizens.

p.s. when do we get a grouch smiley anyway?

[tuvor]

24. Credit where credit is due.

http://12reasons.com/

[NMMNG]

25. Excellent list, nominated ! eom

[Nikki Stone 1]

26. #12. Jay Leno already has too many viewers. Why have gays marry and

create more?

[ulysses]

27. superb!

:D

[Clintmax]

29. LOL! Funny...

I'm glad to know that SOMEONE has FINALLY realized the REAL reasons I shouldn't be able to marry my boyfriend! It doesn't matter that we've been together for over 10 years! So long as the above ten reasons can be held "sacred". :rofl:

[jmm]

30. People could start marrying each other for health care benefits

Yeah heterosexual people would never do that.

Of course if gay marriage is legalized it will lead to Nazi's riding dinosaurs in the streets just like that Princess on Drawn Together said.

[B Calm]

31. There will be small gangs of happily married gay couples roaming

the streets late at night and gang raping straight people, thus turning the straight person into a flaming homosexual!

[PDittie]

32. Just in time for Texas' ballot proposition 11/8

defining marriage as between a man and a woman.

I will circulate widely.

[long_green]

33. Awesome!

will gladly nominate.

[Vektor]

34. HAHAHA! I like the one about the dog signing a marriage contract.

That has always been my rebuttal when fundies pull out the ol' "if you allow gay marriage, next thing you know men will be marrying sheep" I always laugh and say "If you can find a sheep that cay actually SAY "I do" and sign the marriage license, then yeah, that sheep should be given full human rights - that is one advanced sheep."

[RhodaGrits]

38. Actually, they are trying to get legal standing for dogs and

other sentient species. Ward status with appointed guardians - pets would no longer be considered property. It wouldn't surprise me that dogs might end up with more rights than gays. There was legislation introduced in NY last year that would have awarded an owner more damages if their dog was killed than if their spouse or child were killed. <shakes head>

[Vektor]

39. While I support increased protections for animals...

certainly, spouses, children and humans in general need to be considered and protected as well. It needn't be an either/or. We can treat ALL sentient beings with respect, I believe.

[IndyOp]

36. Brittany Spears' 55-hour-just-for-fun-marraige?

I really do live under a rock, don't I?

:shrug:

[swimboy]

40. If your rock has a Britney filter, it's a pretty great place!

:thumbsup:

[brainshrub]

37. Gay marriages would make straight marriages look bad.

If gays are allowed to marry, they will book all the good places in advance and have better parties.

This will make us hetros look bad!

Gay marriage must be stopped at all costs!

[grannylib]

41. *lol* these are great. Just great.

[swimboy]

42. Brilliant!

:rofl: Thanks so much for sharing!