From USA Today:
Costly failures. Sometimes when the boss is ousted, it's best to just open the door and say good riddance.
That would seem the smart approach for getting Michael Brown, the clueless former director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, off the public payroll. And for neatly dispatching Benjamin Ladner, the American University president whose taste for foie gras, French wine and family entertaining on the university's dime put an abrupt end to his tenure. After an investigation of Ladner's lavish spending in the past three years, American's trustees voted earlier this month that Ladner would have to go. This week, they sweetened that goodbye with $2.75 million in "deferred compensation" and a $950,000 "settlement." That comes to about $340 per student on the District of Columbia campus. But who's counting? Apparently not the trustees. In corporate America, excessive rewards for bad behavior are as common as they are embarrassing. At a non-profit university where students, parents and contributors are footing the bill, a golden parachute is irresponsible and insulting. The silver lining: At least American is rid of Ladner.
No such luck yet for federal taxpayers. Brown, you may recall, had no credentials to be FEMA director and bungled rescue and recovery after Hurricane Katrina, one of the nation's worst natural disasters. He resigned Sept. 12.Trouble is, he's still hanging around. The Homeland Security Department, FEMA's parent, has twice extended his stay, this time until mid-November at his $148,000 annual salary. Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff told reporters that FEMA needs "to get a full picture of Mike's experiences" in order "to do better." A more powerful lesson, whether at college or in public life, is that egregious misbehavior doesn't merit lucrative goodbyes.
Peels of laughter. With headlines such as "Bush to appoint someone to be in charge of country" and "Showoff pallbearer carries casket by himself," it's glaringly obvious that The Onion, a popular website and newspaper devoted to spoofing the news, is satire. But at least one humorless government lawyer doesn't get the joke. An underling of White House counsel Harriet Miers demanded last month that The Onion immediately remove the presidential seal from the part of its site devoted to a parody of the president's weekly radio address. The seal cannot be used without permission in connection with commercial ventures that might suggest "Presidential support or endorsement," associate White House counsel Grant Dixton intoned in a letter.
No one who reads The Onion's biting commentary on the current administration is likely to be misled into thinking it has George W. Bush's support or endorsement. Comedy programs have used the seal in parodies for years. Will Saturday Night Live be next to receive a cease-and-desist letter? Onion's editor in chief, Scott Dikkers, said it was a waste of taxpayer funds to have a government attorney spend time on something so trivial. The seal remains on the site, but to show there are no hard feelings, The Onion is sending a complimentary subscription to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
With the withdrawal of Miers' nomination to the Supreme Court and the tension surrounding the CIA-leak probe, a sense of humor might be a rare commodity at the White House these days. But for the satirists at The Onion who love to skewer pomposity, the officious letter must have seemed like a promotional gift from the heavens.
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