Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity [..] 'Intelligent Falling' Theory

[Sgent]

KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

Burdett added: "Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power."

Founded in 1987, the ECFR is the world's leading institution of evangelical physics, a branch of physics based on literal interpretation of the Bible.

The Onion

[louis-t]

1. God, I love The Onion.

Smiles for a Sunday morning.

[sarcasmo]

2. The onion makes the absurd seem real.

[wtmusic]

5. Almost too real

Guaranteed that some nutcase will read that and reflect on its actual merits...

[Freedom_from_Chains]

6. Really, I don't have any problem buying this is something

the fundies would come up with. It's on par with their other "beliefs."

[acmavm]

3. The Onion. I'm surprised. Sounded just like these freaks espousing

'Intelligent Design'.

I'm Christian, lapsed Catholic, but a believer. And my God would definitely chose evolution. He's not a astral Amazing Kreskin.

[GreenPoet64]

4. LOL!

:rofl:

[unrepuke]

7. So a 'higher authority' pushes W off his bike? Is his name Jim Beam ?

Un intelligent falling, if ya axe me...

[HysteryDiagnosis]

8. Ya know.... it's hard to "float" an argument like that these days.....

[unrepuke]

9. Gravity; Not just a good idea, it's The Law.