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Trick-Or-Treaters To Be Subject To Random Bag Searches

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kurth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-30-05 12:35 PM
Original message
Trick-Or-Treaters To Be Subject To Random Bag Searches
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Responding to "a possible threat of terror and fright," Department of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff announced Monday that trick-or-treaters will be subject to random bag searches this Halloween season.

"Individuals concealing their identities through clever disguise, and under cover of night, may attempt to use the unspecified threat of 'tricks' to extort 'treats' from unsuspecting victims," Chertoff said. "Such scare tactics may have been tolerated in the past, but they will not be allowed to continue this Halloween."

While he would not elaborate on the specific threat, Chertoff said his office had "heard a couple spooky tales," and indicated that there was good reason to believe that Americans face "a very ghoulish scenario" this October.

"We have done and will continue to do everything we can to protect citizens from those who would play on our fears," a haunted Chertoff said. "Nevertheless, Americans are advised to be in a state of readiness."...

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41899
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unrepuke Donating Member (763 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-30-05 12:38 PM
Response to Original message
1. Beware - Midgets disguised as 6'6" Osama Bin Ladens !!11!!!
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kentuck Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-30-05 12:39 PM
Response to Original message
2. Take Halloween away from the kids - that'll teach those terrorists!
Who is winning this war?
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GrpCaptMandrake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-30-05 12:47 PM
Response to Original message
3. Hugh111111
That's why we're fighting them over there! So they won't TP our yards here!

Morans!

:silly:
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acmejack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-30-05 12:58 PM
Response to Original message
4. Indoctrinate them young!
Ensure they will grow in to compliant "Citizens" of the Homeland! Cue "I'm proud to be a Murcan"
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nemo137 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-31-05 12:53 AM
Response to Original message
5. everyone did notice this is satire, right?
God, we're at a sad state when we've lost the ability to tell truth from snark.
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Hippo_Tron Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-31-05 01:04 AM
Response to Original message
6. You had me going for a sec, I'm not going to lie
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