From OOC......Your uniforms are in the mail.

[democrank]

This is a message from the government`s Office of Official Clothing. You are hereby instructed to make immediate use of the brown uniform you`ll receive within three days. Each uniform, handcrafted in Pakistan to rigorous OOC specs, has been fitted with a tracing chip bearing your I.D. number. If our OCI....Office of Communiction Intercepts.... has identified you as a Liberal, your uniform will have a red stripe on the left sleeve. Don`t remove it.

Here are your instructions:

Pocket A (so identified) contains a notebook. Look around your neighborhood or work place. Any bearded men? Any anti-Bush signs or bumperstickers? Any "interesting" telephone conversations? Anyone look
like a terrorist? See any books on Darwin? Gandhi?

Pocket B (so identified, but with zipper)contains The Crawford, Texas Rapture Guide. The 800-number on the back will direct you to a recorded message on why God gave His blessings for the Iraq War. The second portion of the recording will take credit card information for your donation.

Pocket C (so identified, with flap) contains a 5x7 glossy of the Twin Towers and a map of Baghdad. The two have been laminated together for obvious reasons.

We trust you`ll be proud to wear this innovative example of national unity. For years we`ve had to bear up under the tolerance/diversity assault from Liberals. Today, with pride, we`ve become an Army of one.


Next month we will issue our banned book list along with a toll-free number for reporting on potential whistleblowers.

[bluerum]

1. Can I get the special jack-boot phone too? n/t

[JuniperLea]

2. What pocket

contains the goose-step instructions?