on the lighter side... poking fun at Shrub....

[diamondsndust]

we all need to stop and laugh once in a while or we'd just go nuts!!

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behaviour. It is called Gonorrhoea Lectim. Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the previous four years.
Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept responsibility for own actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies towards evangelical theocracy, categorical all-or-nothing behaviour.
Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas.

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.
The interviewer asks him, "Have you been in the service?"
"Yes," he says. "I was in the army for three years."
The interviewer says, "That will give you extra points toward employment!" and then asks, "are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes. A mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off."
The interviewer tells the guy, "O.K. I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00 A.M."
The guy is puzzled and says, "If the hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. then why do you want me to come in at 10:00 A.M.?"
"This is a government job" the interviewer says. "For the first two hours we sit around scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."