SONG: Will brokeback mountain turn me gay?

[yurbud]

NOTE: Apologies to any gay or cowboy DUers. This is not in any way meant to imply that you are more likely that heterosexuals to be football players, fraternity members, or golfers.



Will brokeback mountain turn me gay?
make me love the cowboy way
and see every plumber's crack
as something I'd like to attack...


Now I know that I aint gay
as I told my football team each day
as we showered and played
snapping towels at each other's wangs...


and my frat brothers told me so
that I aint no homo
as they beat my naked ass
with a wooden cricket bat
while other brothers watched
and next said spill your seed...


will brokeback mountain turn me gay?
make me love the cowboy way
and see every plumber's crack
as something I'd like to attack...


Now every morning I play golf
leave my wife and I sneak off
cause manly men
like hitting tiny balls
and smoking big cigars
without no women who would just get in the way...

and after we have played a round,
I lay my naked body down
and get a full massage
from Bruce, or Buck or Rod
and if there's a happy ending,
it sure wasn't planned that way...

will brokeback mountain turn me gay?
make me love the cowboy way
and see every plumber's crack
as something I'd like to attack...

But looking back at all I sang,
I guess the only thing I'd change
Is I would wear a cowboy hat
with my team, at golf, or frat...

will brokeback mountain turn me gay?
make me love the cowboy way
and see every plumber's crack
as something I'd like to attack...

[im10ashus]

1. IMHO,

If seeing Brokeback Mountain is the only thing you have separating you from being gay and not being gay, then you might already be gay.

[BushOut06]

2. Yup - watching that movie turned me into a man-whore slut

I was a perfectly straight male, married with 3 kids. After watching that movie, I became a man-whore male prostitute, orally servicing businessmen for money.

That movie will do that, you know.

[Lefty48197]

3. I think it was legalized gay marriage that destroyed your heterosexual

marriage.

[im10ashus]

4. LOL!

Jeff Gannon? Is that you? :-)

[Hissyspit]

6. Ooo, I can't wait to see it, then! My heterosexual love life stinks.

So now I have an alternative!

It's like "The Ring," right? You stick the video in and then... Killer videotapes, killer DVDs! Movies changing your sexual orientation!

[Hissyspit]

5. Sung to the tune of...?

[yurbud]

18. something slow and mournful, like when Richard Perle and Paul Wolfowitz

have sex.

[sui generis]

7. most plumbers cracks'd turn me straight

and there really isn't a "good way" to see one of those, in a hat, with a rat, with a guy named sam not even with green eggs and ham.

[yurbud]

13. green ham (PHOTO)

BBC STORY:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4605202.stm

[im10ashus]

14. LOL!

I do not like them, Sam I am.

[yurbud]

17. so you probably won't like the meat grown a cell at a time without an

animal?

[maxsolomon]

8. i was told that i looked 'brokeback' today

solid black 'western' shirt, victorinox fleece vest, pin stripe black pants. i don't know what the fuck they were talking about.

[sui generis]

11. tell them they look smokecrack today.

ask them if they would like a breathmint.

Ask them again.

Give them Margaret ChoBack Mountain. "If I want to know about rude, I would first scan you from head to toe, figure out what's wrong with you. Then I would take a polaroid picture of you, circle your face and put it in my purse. Every time I forgot what rude was I would take out my PHOTOEGRAPHIC visual reminder up out of this here purse and say oh yeah, now thass rude."

I just made that up. Channeling cho. Sorry.

[sarge43]

9. If the Village People didn't get you to cross the street ...

:silly:

[baby_mouse]

10. Well, I was made gay by that movie BEFORE I saw it, it's that dangerous.

It's magic gay rays penetrated the substance of spacetime itself and waves of gayness travelled backwards through time and infected me.

God. This liberal conspiracy is starting to look pretty scary, huh?

[arbusto_baboso]

12. Funny, I'm straight, but went to see that movie figuring it would turn me

gay. I mean, I WANT to be in the IN crowd, culturally-speaking. I want people to come to me for fashion and decorating advice.


But it didn't work. I left the theater as straight as I was when I went in. Jeez, it's almost like I was BORN this way or something!!!:shrug:

[Momgonepostal]

15. I hope you asked for your money back

You were robbed!

Maybe if you watch a little Sponge Bob, that might help. :-)

[yurbud]

16. Try MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO. I went to see it with 3 straight male friends

and during the first five minutes, we changed our seats so there were empty ones between each of us.

[bush_is_wacko]

19. I can't reply. I'm too busy laughing and spitting tea all over the place!

Where do you guys come up with this stuff?

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray:

[yurbud]

20. I wrote it. Inspired by someone else's question