Mr. Speaker, I come tonight to report on the state of the union.

The Whiskey Priest

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Fri Jan-27-06 05:57 PM
Original message

Mr. Speaker, I come tonight to report on the state of the union.

Edited on Fri Jan-27-06 06:56 PM by The Whiskey Priest

Well, heh-heh, it doesn’t look all that good. Reviewing last year;

We lost a major American City
Katrina relief effort was a disaster, I thought Brownie with his background of horseshow judge selector could handle the job…heh,heh, well live and learn…course we do want to pray for all those who lost their lives down there in….ah…ah…oh…. New Orleans
Gasoline has gone up by two-hundred percent
GM is laying off workers and closing plants
Ford is laying off workers and closing plants
We have spent close to Trillion dollars in the Mid-east for democracy and ended up with Hamas.
Best estimate one-third of the congress is subject to being indicted for corruption in connection with lobbying.
My poll numbers are so far in the cellar they could grow mushrooms
Only bright spot is my vice-president’s numbers are lower
Less people believe what I say than believe in pro-wrestling
Wages for the working class are stagnant
We are still mired down in Iraq and continuing to suffer casualties
My Army is broke,Heh, heh…
That guy, Osama, that one I said,he run, but he couldn’t hide, dang me if he don’t hide real good.
One other thing some big-mouth do-gooder went and told the news boys about my secret prisons overseas. That has just gotta stop…
Then last summer that woman came down to Crawford and lived in a bar ditch, the next thing you know, there was over two thousand people down there ever day last summer, while I was trying to have a little time for myself, ruined my three month vacation…heh, heh, I didn’t met with them either, but the next thing over three hundred thousand showed up in DC…heh, heh, I had to leave town
Ah, well, I have been caught doing illegal wiretaps and sending spies into Quaker meetings
The budget deficit is off somewhere in the stratosphere
We owe more money to China that there are Chinese
Half the country in suffering from draught; the other half is being washed away
2005 was one of the hottest years ever recorded
Halliburton has been charged with more malfeasance than I can keep track off
Some of the White House staff are under indictment and the rest are under investigation
My press secretary is on the verge of having a nervous breakdown keeping track of his dissembling
Lord knows which bar my twins will be photographed in next
Oh, yes, don’t want to forget Frist and DeLay…..one under investigation, the other in the courthouse answer for corrupt practices
Did I mention, the half the world still hates us, and the other half is looking for their money
A good portion of people cannot afford health care, those that can run the risk of bad care.
Oh, which brings us to the Medicare prescription plan, that was Katrina all over again, lots of the folks couldn’t get their drugs and those that could get their drugs couldn’t afford them.

All in all, when I looked at the state of the union, heh-heh, like we say down in Texas….man we are screwed, blued and tattooed.

Thank you, 9/11