President Bush Encourages Choking of Chickens to Fight Flu
January 25, 2006
"President Bush shocked the international community this week by encouraging world leaders to start 'choking their chickens' to fight the deadly Avian Flu. The remarks were made at a Houston fundraiser benefiting the group Washington Aid for Systematic People, sponsored by some rich Texan with a lot of cattle.
'I really don’t see how I ---as leader of the greatest nation on earth, which does have the greatest chickens----even I cannot ignore the egg that has been laid. I will answer the clucks. They are due for slaughter anyway, but this time we won’t bar-b-que them. No. No matter how great our homegrown hens taste, they are sick and don’t feel too good. Not good enough to eat. So it’s undeniable. I have been telling Laura for weeks now that it is time to get those wrists warmed-up for the ‘ole grab and twist, but she doesn’t want to face up to reality. She likes to eat ‘em down to the bone.'
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When asked if he was scared of catching the Avian Flu, President Bush shrugged. 'I told you people that I would gladly answer any questions you had about that bird flu. But I don’t know shinola about this...this new flu caused by Evian. The twins drink a lot of that stuff. Me, I stick to good ‘ole tap water. Secretary of State Rice will have to fill me in on that. She’s my SOS on the streets, you know. But I can’t have her in the same room with me trying to learn me up on another flu when I am trying to prevent a hendemic---it is hard to choke a chicken when she is around.'
Later that day, one of the Bush twins was spotted entering the Oval Office with a bucket of KFC Original Recipe and a twelve-pack. The White House officially declined comment, but sources report that both twins have been “doing their part” by stocking up on Vaseline..."
http://www.opednews.com/articles/opedne_tara_par_060125_president_bush_encou.htm