Need an edit and input on my LTTE about Gonzales/NSA hearings Any help?

[leftupnorth]

Any inaccuracies/input?
Constructive criticism is encouraged.

"February 6, 2006, was the first day of the NSA wiretap hearings conducted by the Senate Judiciary Committee. During the opening minutes of this hearing, the committee voted -- down party lines -- that Attorney General Alberto Gonzales didn't need to be sworn in. That's right, a witness of one of the most important Senate committees is not required to "tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth".

Why would all ten Republicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee vote against AG Gonzales taking the oath? It could have something to do with a recent article in Insight magazine, a conservative publication of Washington Times owner Rev. Sun Myung Moon. This article reports that Karl Rove has "threatened to blacklist any Republican who votes against the president". Mr. Rove is essentially bribing and blackmailing members of the Judiciary committee into protecting Gonzales and by extension, the president. This vile threat by Karl Rove is an admission that the administration fears their actions broke the law and they are desperate.

Nobody seriously believes that any Democrat or Republican would want to keep the NSA from spying on suspected terrorists, as Rove and others suggest. The issue here is not defense policy, it is about checks and balances and the rule of law. The administration bypassed the check of a judge and failed to fully consult with Congress. They assigned unto themselves all authority to determine the reasonableness and probable cause for a search and claim that this power is "inherent" in the powers of the president. If any president is allowed to assume judiciary power in the name of an undeclared unending war, what's to stop the president from assuming any other powers deemed necessary by the president?"

OK, let me have it....

[hwmnbn]

1. OK, I'm not a professional but...

the first 2 paragraphs are fine, the last one I thought was wordy and lost focus. It has to be concise yet have a strong payoff.

Here is my suggestion: Do with it what you will. LOL

The issue here is not about defense policy, it is about the rule of law. This administration willfully ignored the laws passed by congress. In doing so, they've usurped power and assigned unto themselves all authority. This is unconstitutional and must be opposed.

[Neil Lisst]

2. A few points.

These are criticisms that may merely be my personal preferences. Take them or ignore them.

1. Intro sentences.

They currently read:

"February 6, 2006, was the first day of the NSA wiretap hearings conducted by the Senate Judiciary Committee. During the opening minutes of this hearing, the committee voted -- down party lines -- that Attorney General Alberto Gonzales didn't need to be sworn in."

I would have written it thusly:

On Monday, February 6, 2006, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales did not testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee under oath, because Republican Committee Chair Arlen Specter ruled that he need not swear to tell the truth. On a party line vote, Republicans supported Specter's ruling and voted down the request of Democrats that such testimony be under oath.

Then I would conclude the intro paragraph with your third sentence, placing the ending period within the quotes, so that it reads:

That's right, a witness of one of the most important Senate committees is not required to "tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

2. Middle paragraph.

I would not change it, except to properly place the period inside the quotation marks, thusly:

This article reports that Karl Rove has "threatened to blacklist any Republican who votes against the president."

3. Third paragraph.

It's fine, although I'd use "No one," instead of "Nobody." It could use a comma at one point, but not worthy of noting.

[dubya_dubya_III]

3. Americas CIA Mafia Emperor

USC 50 413(b) along with the CIA and NSA Mafia, is by it's and their very definition criminal, illegal and unconstitutional. Congress completely abdicated it's constitutional responsibility as enumerated and defined by the US Constitution regarding Letters of Marque in awarding the presidency this blank check of endless corrupt elite noble criminal Marque

413's 'finding crime' itself is a self-annulling unenforceable and totally contradictory "non provision" since it's entire premise purports to enable and support criminal tyranny in the form of privately committed by proxy finding crimes, indistinguishable from Marque Crime Licenses, yet somehow "A finding may not authorize any action that would violate the Constitution or any statute of the United States". Surely breaking laws that are also laws of the United States in foreign places is still committing an equivalent even if not necessarily extraditable offense under US law?

In short the statute that created the CIA Mafia and a Presidential Mafia Godfather, shepherded by a secret noble elite political - military industrial Cabal of august yet muzzled and informed only in retrospect "Congressional oversight" is fully null void and moot.

This law traditionally exploited foreign victims with no standing in US courts to challenge it's essential self subverting criminality.

And now three tired old supporting quotes:

"while we give no encouragement to the importation of foreign vices, we ought to be equally as careful not to create any. A vice begotten might be worse than a vice imported. The latter, depending on favor, would be a sycophant; the other, by pride of birth, would be a tyrant:" Thomas Paine on the subject of a CIA Mafia - 1775.

"I see in the near future a crisis approach which unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country. Corporations have been enthroned, an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until the wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic destroyed." - Abe Lincoln on the political exploitation of religious fascism being abused to benefit the influence of selfish greedy and destructive global mercantilism and military industrial corruption.

.. "Unhindered by the restraints of traditional liberal values, this elite would not hesitate to achieve it's political ends by using the latest modern techniques for influencing public behavior and keeping society under surveillance and control. Technical and scientific momentum would then feed on the situation it exploits." Zbigniew Brzezinski (GOP CIA Mafia/State Dept. 80's Mujihadeen-VS-Israel long term Armageddon plotting madman...

[sendero]

4. Might I suggest..

... that you've written a fine letter! I'm sure some of the suggestions for changes are good, but really, the letter is pretty damn good as it is, IMHO.

[Neil Lisst]

5. Indeed, it is. It'd be fine to send as is.

Although I would definitely put those periods inside the ending quotation marks.

[dubya_dubya_III]

6. ok just one thought

Having an impartial, secure third party record of just who is being spied upon and the probable cause so suspected is the bare minimum of protection for US citizens from their government, such as it unfortunately is.

[leftupnorth]

7. Thank You all hwnmbn, Neil, sendero, dubya

for the help and suggestions. I have tweaked it in a similar fashion based on everyone's inputs.

I always try to say as much as possible without using too many words while maintaining my message. Thanks again for the use of your brains.

DU is like a giant indestructible human super-computer...

What could be more powerful than thousands of the most powerful computers(still human brains, right?) working together?

Neil, i changed my quotation marks so they are outside the periods.

[Neil Lisst]

8. Cool. It's correct that way.

They may change your text, anyway, and would probably have changed that for you. But why let them have that pleasure, eh?