USA For Sale - Vendor Highly MOTIVATED!

[NanceGreggs]

As long as BU$HCO is determined to sell off the country, why do it in bits and pieces? With one low-cost eBay ad, it can be peddled in one easy transaction:

FOR SALE: One Country - United States of America
(a.k.a. "Good Ol' US of A", "Cradle of Democracy", "Beacon of Freedom")

CONTENTS INCLUDE:

CITIZENS - 300,000,000 (majority highly disgruntled)
MILITARY FORCES - More than SLIGHTLY used
(1) CONGRESS + (1) SENATE - Handyman's special, need MAJOR repairs
NATIONAL PARKS/FORESTS - Number available dependent on speed of sale
(1) WHITE HOUSE - Great nostalgic value for right purchaser
(1) NATIONAL FLAG - Once proud, presently in tatters
(1) CONSTITUTION - Badly damaged, but unread for almost five years

PRESENT ABILITY TO GENERATE INCOME: Almost nil

PRESENT LIABILITIES: $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 of debt. Purchaser must assume all responsibility for pending lawsuits re illegal wiretapping, unlawful detention of foreign personages, allegations of torture/murder, crimes against humanity, bribe-taking, illegal voting systems, etc. (complete list available upon request)

EXTRAS INCLUDE:
Structural plans for Bridge-to-Nowhere (Alaska)
Diebold voting machines (caveat emptor clause applies)
(1) Administration (ethics not included)
Cable-ready nation-wide wire-tapping system (already in place)

FIXTURES NOT INCLUDED:
New Orleans & Environs
SIX major US ports
Democracy, freedom, civil liberties, etc.

PRICE: Best offer - or FREE to Democratic Party (proof of desire to own required).

[Julius Civitatus]

1. Depressingly true

I would be laughing if I didn't live within a few-mile radius of two major ports in the NYC area. I'm actually scared now.

:(

[Canuckistanian]

2. Think of it as an estate sale

Owners highly stressed, in debt. No reasonable deals rejected. Cash or acceptable resources only.

[NanceGreggs]

3. Operators are standing by ...

... so have your credit card number handy!

[DemBones DemBones]

5. More like a divorce sale, I'd say.

If only we can get our divorce without having to take on all of the debts our soon-to-be "ex" ran up.

[FiveGoodMen]

19. I'd call it an 80's-style hostile take-over

Buy the company, dismantle it, sell the assets.

[DemBones DemBones]

4. Great post! Kicked and recommended.

:kick:

[NVMojo]

6. I can't believe you posted this! I just sent an email to a republican

and told him Bush wants to sell our entire country on ebay!!! I just looked at the time I sent the email and the time you posted this and it was within minutes! The collective conscience at work!

[NanceGreggs]

7. Send him a link to this thread ...

... he'll be convinced it's a VAST LEFT-WING CONSPIRACY!

[file83]

8. K&R! Here's the graphic for the eBay ad:

SOLD AS IS!!!

[file83]

9. You forgot to inform the bidders that there is a SLIGHT problem with

that southern border - it's leaking like a siv.

[Paradise]

10. recommended. n/t

[AndyA]

11. MUST SELL - moving!

$$$$$$$$$$

Move forces sale of country and all assets. Highest bidder wins, no reserve. Bid to win! G. Bush, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC. Payment in Euros only, please.

[SoftPretzel]

12. lol

:rofl:

[newyawker99]

18. Hi SoftPretzel!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[elehhhhna]

13. GONG OUT OF BUSINESS SALE! hugh, SERIES SAVINGS!

[JNelson6563]

14. Very clever!

Well done!

[BlueEyedSon]

15. Lost our lease! EVERYTHING MUST GO! Selling out to the BARE WALLS!

[tgnyc]

16. Kick for cleverness

[Neil Lisst]

17. AS IS WHERE IS

No warranties or covenants.