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A bit of funny from my blog:
Keep Your Friends Close, and Your Enemies Closer
The big word on the left right now -- and, hell, even on the much of the right, if Senate Majority Leader Bill First and Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert are any indication -- is that Bush is selling out our ports to a bunch of crazed Arabs from the UAE. And while Bush has been roundly criticized and, predictably, has fought back like a trapped rat, threatening to veto every bill the House has ever passed, retroactively, if they don't get on board with the deal, none of the president's men have pointed out the brilliance of selling out to the UAE.
The big problem with trying to capture guys like Bin Laden and Zarqawi is that they're almost impossible to find. Personally, I think both of them are long dead, but if we assume they're alive, we also have to understand the difficulty in finding them. Zarqawi hops from house to house like a door-to-door jihad salesman on speed, and Bin Laden has set up some sort of underground lair worthy of a James Bond villain, somewhere in the Hindu-Kush mountain range.
But if we were to open our ports to a company owned by a country that has provable ties to the funding of the 9/11 terror attacks, just think of the obvious results! We'll know where to find these terrorists then -- right in New York Harbor! It's hard to sit around in your underground lair with a pile of Kalishnikovs and a thermonuclear warhead when said warhead could so easily be put to use in the Port of Miami. And then, once they head over here to do the deed, Bush himself will ride into the port on horseback, a sheriff's badge on his vest and a six-gun in his hand. After a terrible firefight in which Bush takes on a few hundred gunmen and lives, like some bad John Woo movie, he'll hogtie Bin Laden, tie the rope to his saddle, and drag the al Qaeda leader through the streets of Miami to Hialeah, where hardcore Republican Cubans will hack him to death with machetes.
The problem with the left, and these critics on the right, is that they're not thinking five steps ahead, the way the president is. He ain't as dumb as he looks -- or talks or acts or waves or walks or rides a bike. Or maybe not.
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