Let's have some fun - what does a freeper prayer sound like?

[Rocknrule]

(repost from awhile ago)

"Oh Father, who are in the White House, give us the strength to KILL ALL THE FAGS, LIBERALS, AND BROWN PEOPLE!!!!!!"

[shenmue]

1. "Oh L*rd..."

me me me me me me me me me."

:dunce:

[billybob537]

2. And help us

to overcome{KILL} anyone that SHRUB say's doesn't like us!!!!

[Coyote_Bandit]

3. Bless Me, Lord (i.e., I want what *I* want and I want it now)

and to hell with everyone else - and, Lord, I need a newer, bigger McMansion, a full size Hummer and another Rolex....

[zbdent]

4. not necessarily a freeper prayer

but I always loved:

"Lord, grant me patience - NOW!

[zbdent]

5. "Dear Lord, please give this pro-lifer the strength to

blast the heads off them commie peaceniks . . ."

[Rocknrule]

6. Ade due Damballa...

...give me the power I beg of you! Leveau mercier du bois chaloitte. Secoise entienne mais pois de morte. Morteisma lieu de vocuier de mieu vochette. Endenlieu pour du boisette damballa! Endenlieu pour du boisette damballa! Endenlieu pour du boisette damballa!

[Joey Liberal]

7. A Conservative Evangelical Prayer

Dear Lord,
Please grant thee eternal republican control of the White House, Congress and the Supreme Court. Bless thee with President Bush being anointed as President for Life. Oh Lord, please rid the world of all Democrats. Lord, please grant thy request for tax cuts for the rich. Lord, why do we have so many Mexicans and black people in the promised land? Please Lord, use your almighty powers to make them go away. Please, Dear God, Ye of republican leanings and neo-con faith, please bring more hurricanes, tornadoes and wildfires upon the Liberals. Oh Heavenly Father, I beseech you to destroy that evil document that the heathen, Godless Democrats love so much - the Constitution. It is not biblical and it even goes so far as to keep church and state separate. In your name I pray. Amen.

Praise JeeHeesuz!

[More Than A Feeling]

8. Dear Lord,

Deliver me from those who are different. Harden my heart to the groans of the suffering and the cries of the oppressed. Bless me as I kill in your name. Silence those who disagree with what I say you tell me. Turn your face from those who stand up to me. Give that which you have created into my hands, that I may ruin it.

In your name I destroy, Amen.

[driver8]

9. Armaments, chapter two, versus nine through twenty-one

Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.

Cleric: And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...

Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...

Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.

Brother Maynard: Amen.

All: Amen.

[Rocknrule]

10. Dear Lord...

let the bodies hit the floor! Let the bodies hit the floor!

[AnneD]

11. It has already been done and recorded!!!!

Mercedes Benz Lyrics
Artist(Band):Janis Joplin Review The Song (0)

Oh Lord, won't you buy me
a Mercedes Benz
My friends all drive Porsches
I must make amends
Worked hard all my lifetime
no help from my friends
So Lord, won't you buy me
a Mercedes Benz

Oh Lord, won't you buy me
a color TV
"Dialing For Dollars"
is trying to find me
I wait for delivery
each day until three
So oh Lord, won't you buy me
a color TV

Oh Lord, won't you buy me
a night on the town
I'm counting on you, lord
please don't let me down
Prove that you love me
and buy the next round
Oh Lord, won't you buy me
a night on the town

Everybody
Oh Lord, won't you buy me
a Mercedes Benz
My friends all drive Porsches
I must make amends
I Worked all my lifetime
no help from my friends
So Lord, won't you buy me
a Mercedes Benz

[TrogL]

12. Gimme, Gimme, Gimme

0h, and may lightning strike my enemies in their private parts (can I watch?).