Mr. Bolten....Sir....Could we have a full-time Scandal Czar?

[democrank]

Geez....Keeping track of the Bush administration`s scandals is like playing that 60s game of Twister. Slap your right hand down on the red plastic Abu Gharib circle, stick your left knee on the blue warrantless wiretap circle, then hope you can stretch across to the yellow Valerie Plame area without losing your balance and falling on the New Hampshire phone jamming thing. A family of double-jointed sextuplets couldn`t cover this entire Scandalfest. That`s why I`m going to write Josh Bolten and suggest a Scandal Czar. Like the Drug Czar, only busier.

Karl Rove could buy a whole Teflon factory and it wouldn`t produce enough to save this corrupt administration. The stuff is starting to stick and the place is starting to stink to high heavens. A majority of Americans now realize that photo op backdrops with I`M KEEPING YOU SAFE is not a statement of Bush`s foreign policy intentions, but more like the words on a mobster`s cue card during the armed robbery scene of an old movie.

I`m still back at the....What, me drown?....McCain/Bush Katrina birthday bash, still trying to digest that scene, when a few dozen more things pop up. What I need is a mural sized map of the world with some color-coordinated map pins. Let`s see....horrific crimes in Darfur, but I`d better pin this abortion memo on South Dakota. Umpteen billion missing in Iraq reconstruction funds, but I`d better hurry on over to Tennessee and pin up Frist`s $100 gas rebate suggestion. Maybe I`ll have time to pin a We-Don`t-Torture memo on Washington, D.C. before I locate Turkey and pin a This-Is-One-Place-Where-We-Torture note on it.

Now folks seem to be gearing up for the `06 elections. Since war is peace and lies are truths, my Scandal Czar idea will probably fall by the wayside, overpowered by secret inquiries on homosexual neighbors and the national anthem being sung in languages other than English. First things first.

[hedda_foil]

1. WOOHOO!!! This is terrific stuff.

K&R