Kerry Delivers Commencement Address with Comedic Edge

[kerrygoddess]

Note this is a must read speech from John Kerry, it's smart, funny and on the money...

Kerry Delivers Commencement Address at Emerson, Receives Honorary Doctor of Laws Degree
May 15th, 2006 @ 1:56 pm

Senator John Kerry, was awarded an honorary doctor of laws degree today at Emerson College in Massachusetts where he delivered the commencement address.



Today Senator John Kerry spoke at the 126th annual Commencement exercises at Emerson College in Boston, Massachusetts. Below is a copy of his remarks as prepared for delivery:

Emerson College Commencement Address, Emerson College
Senator John Kerry, May 15, 2006

President Liebergott, Members of the Board of Trustees and the Board of Overseers, Robert Steele, faculty and staff, parents, and of course the great graduating Class of 2006, thank you.

Before I begin I have an announcement-will the student who owns the brand new cherry red Corvette in the parking lot, with the big ribbon on it, the one with the license plate that reads “Emerson 2006″…your lights aren’t on. I just want to tell your parents to send me a campaign check, they can afford it.

President Liebergott asked me if I wanted some music played as I was introduced. I said no. Although 2 years ago I did spend $200 million hoping just once to hear hail to the chief.

It really is an honor for me to be here. I heard you had a great choice of commencement speakers. I was told you wanted a wealthy guy with a full head of hair who is all over T.V. and who desperately wants to be president. But Donald Trump wasn’t available.

So instead you got me. I want you to know, running for president wasn’t pressure-trying to decide on the theme of this commencement address was pressure. On one hand I thought about giving an hour 20 minute speech on foreign policy, global warming, third world debt and the importance of public service. Then on the other hand, I thought if I keep this to 10 minutes we’d all have a lot more time to have a beer together.

Hour 20 versus 10 minutes. Hour 20…10 minutes and a beer. I’ll tell you what, let’s go with the short one. And if I see any of you opening up a red bull midway through, I’ll finish even sooner.

To start off, let’s take a moment right now and give a big hand to your parents.

You know, your parents remember that times were different when we graduated. The good news — we had a guaranteed job plan for immediate full time work after college. The bad news–it was called the draft.

FULL TEXT & MORE PHOTOS - http://blog.thedemocraticdaily.com/?p=2993

[demdiva]

1. LOL. It's a good thing my co-wrokers aren't at work

Or they'd be looking at me a little strange. Thanks for posting this ..it's nice to get to see the funny side we all know Kerry has!

[demdiva]

2. Another thought, thanks to The Democratic Daily Blog .. .

I just want to tell your parents to send me a campaign check, they can afford it.

CAMPAIGN!!!!!! Whoo hooooooo!!!!!!!!!

[kerrygoddess]

5. My pleasure!

I like that line too!

[MH1]

3. Thanks for posting

But, um, I like the third pic at the Dem Daily much better. Just sayin.

I loved the joke about losing their moral compass and becoming political consultants. Hee hee.

[kerrygoddess]

4. This one?

[MH1]

8. Yeah!!! That's it!!

Damn he looks good in that pic.

:thumbsup:

:D

[demdiva]

6. My personal favorite

(In 2016) Gold will cost $725 an ounce. So will oil. And both will still be cheaper than Starbucks coffee.

[bigtree]

7. thanks a bunch kerrygoddess

:hi:

[AuntiBush]

9. Senator Kerry Certainly Deserved this one.

:thumbsup:

[Doctor_J]

10. Whoa - a speech that isn't a campaign pitch

and he probably wrote it himself. Why did we elect a drunken dunce again?

[wisteria]

11. This was very funny I was LOL.

It was smart, funny and warm. I really enjoyed it.

[oasis]

12. So we get Mccain on C-SPAN kissing Falwell's ring at Fundie U. Meanwhile,

the senator who challenged Bush's presidency got no coverage.

[UrbScotty]

16. Liberal media (nt)

[FrenchieCat]

13. Nice Pics.....I particularily like the OP one....as it relates well to

having made a comedic speech!

I'll read the speech.

[kerrygoddess]

14. It's a rip roaring speech

LMAO!

[IndianaGreen]

15. That's good about the Corvette

Kerry is on a roll!

[kerrygoddess]

17. Yes he is!

I'm still chuckling from this one!

[jillan]

18. Funny stuff!

Future career for Kerry -
The John Kerry Show!

That is after he is done with his political career.

Great pics - had to save a couple.

Thanks KG!!

[_dynamicdems]

19. The speech was terrific! Very funny and I know the audience responded

very enthusiastically because my sister was there for her grandson's graduation. A few Republican types were not smiling, but most of the people and just about the students cheered. Emerson is a very liberal school, so they loved his jokes.

I just got to see the video of this up at http://welovejohnkerry.blogspot.com and it was terrific!