http://health.yahoo.com/experts/theprinciples/bio;_ylt=AoEtRLBq3VMc9EOgX8BUdw9Tis8FThe Principles (12 Step)
SURRENDER
What word could be more horrifying in modern life than surrender? It brings up fears of complete failure and helplessness. But, in many parts of our lives, that's exactly where we are already.
Have you tried to get your husband to clean the bathroom lately? How successful have you been in wishing away the traffic jam you find on the freeway every morning? Do you revert to a petulant, screaming baby after a few days with your parents? Is your boss likely to wake-up tomorrow and realize he was wrong to be a complete ass for the last ten years?
We are powerless over most of these things. The only thing we can change is ourselves; the way to start is through surrender.
HOPE
Now that you've surrendered and can see how you have absolutely no power over whatever is making you crazy, you really have a problem. Things have gotten so bad that you may even realize that they're never going to change. What do you do now that you see your problem fully?
In times of crisis, along with a string of smoking expletives, you've probably also whispered that secret little prayer, "Dear God, please help me." For most of us, particularly those of us who aren't religious, it's just a figure of speech. But what if we all had our own personal God (call it a Higher Power if that's easier) who could indeed help us when we are literally helpless? Might we start to feel some hope for the first time in years?
FAITH
Once we've surrendered to being powerless over some problem and mustered up some hope that something greater than ourselves could help us, we have to make a leap of faith. This doesn't necessarily entail a religious ceremony or a big revelation. Maybe you feel some peace in the world when you walk by the ocean or look up at the stars in the night sky. Whether or not you're religious, you know that the ocean is more powerful than you...just try stopping the waves. You know the expanse of night sky is bigger than you are...just try flying to the stars.
In those moments and in that frame of mind, we try to have faith that if we turn our lives over to something bigger than ourselves and do some simple work, things can change.
RESPONSIBILITY
How much do you blame your problems on other people or on the world itself? It's easy to be a victim but our lives change when we begin to take responsibility for our actions. My boss is an ass...but I choose to stay in my job because it's safe. My mother is controlling...but I'm still so childish that she needs to be. Other drivers make me crazy...but I talk on the cell phone because my calls are really important.
There are also very serious situations where we can't possibly have any responsibility...but we do. My uncle molested me as a child...but I continue to punish myself by not letting a man in my life. Cancer has ruined my life...but I refuse to fully live in the time I have left. I never had the chance to go to college...but I don't have the humility to go back to school at 40.
When we carry around resentments and blame, we never hurt anyone but ourselves. If we take responsibility, we open the door to cleaning up both small irritations and enormous problems.
more . . . at the link