Poor folk need to get better brokers & invest heavily in surething stocks

[GreenTea]

THE PRESIDENT: Yo Blair! (Chomp-Chomp) Nice spread of chow, huh Poodle Boy? Anyway, (Chomp-Chomp) I've been thinking about all these dumb (Chomp-Chomp) problems that everyone keeps bellyaching about (Chomp-Chomp), and I done thought up solutions (Sluuuuurp) for all of them. Listen up:

ON ISRAEL/LEBANON CONFLICT: "What they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit and it's over!"

ON STARVATION IN SUB-SAHARAN AFRICA: "What them African babies need to do is wipe the blowflies out of their eyes and start cracking open some cans of Campbell's Chunky and shit and then they're full!"

ON POVERTY: "What somebody's gotta do is get poor folks to get better brokers and invest heavily in sure-thing stocks and it's over!"

ON DEALING WITH AL QAEDA: "What them evildoers gotta do is start standing still so when we shoot 'em they're dead 'n' shit."

ON MALARIA: "What they need to do is pick up a whole mess of Deep Woods Off® down at Costco to stop them shitbird skeeters from biting and it's over!"

ON UNEMPLOYMENT: "What people need to do is change their names so they're the same as their smart and well-connected daddies, and then say 'yes' when folks throw jobs at them, and then that unemployment shit is over!"

ON ACID RAIN: "What they gotta do is tell those San Fagcisco hippies how nobody wants their lousy LSD mixed up with the rain and then it's over!"

ON THE TRADE DEFICIT: "What needs to happen is folks shopping at Wal-Mart gotta buy more cheap plastic shit that's made by American Mexicans instead of Chineses and then it's over!"

ON NORTH KOREA'S NUCLEAR PROGRAM: "What they gotta do is get China to get Kim Jong Il to stop being such an annoying little pygmie motherfucker and shit and it's over!"

ON CONTAMINATED WATER: "What everyone has to do is sign up for a nice, clean Poland Springs water cooler and then they deliver it right to your house and that shit-in-the-water problem is over!"

http://www.whitehouse.org/news/2006/071706.asp

[whistle]

1. I take it that was the speech Shrub wrote himself

[OwnedByFerrets]

2. Thats good!!

[zonkers]

3. You're killing me.

[rurallib]

4. Simple approach often the best.

[applegrove]

5. Yes.. and they will be beaten every time by the high priced brokers.

But somebody has to buy up the bad stocks. Otherwise how can Cheney's broker (blind trust) divest of all the GE and GM crap. Someone has to buy it up. Time for Social Security Reform.

[Beausoleil]

6. On Oceana's conflict

"We need ta git that Goldstein fella to stop Eurasia from doin' this shit, and it's over. Or is it Eastasia?"