The Pet Goat: Summer '06 Edition

[BlogBox]

As we say in Texas, Bush has had himself one hell of a week. Remember last year when Bush waited to send help after Hurricane Katrina? Remember when Bush waited to go after Osama at Tora Bora? Remember when Bush, er... didn't go after the Anthrax Killer? Or when he let the bin Laden family leave the country without questioning? Remember Bush's original "Pet Goat" moment on 9/11? Of course you do. Aren't you feeling that same, sick, WTF feeling again this week? Unfriggingbelievable!

Bluto Does The G8

The President of the United States obviously didn't want to be there. We learned, when the idiot-in-chief had another one of his open mic moments, that he thought the speeches of world leaders were too long, he planned to wing his own remarks, he thought about asking Kofi Annan and the UN (the organization he reviles) to "git 'er done" for him, and he told Tony Blair that Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice would probably be going to the Middle East "sometime in the future." Meanwhile, The Democratic Daily notes:

Yesterday, the U.S. State Department said that "it is developing plans to transport Americans from Lebanon to the neighboring island of Cyprus." From there, people could board commercial aircraft to safe destinations. But as of last night, no U.S. evacuation plan had been finalized. Meanwhile, as Americans in Lebanon wait for word on evacuation plans, our fearless leader, George W. Bush, is busy at the G8 Summit partaking in photo-ops like driving an electric cart to dinner and biking the grounds of the G8 Summit...



Could someone please explain to Bush that he needs to get on the stick and get our citizens out of Lebanon? While the U.S. is still without a plan, the Europeans' are on top of the situation with voluntary evacuations underway for their citizens.

Think I'm kidding about the Bluto comparison? Nevada Thunder has posted Maureen Dowd's New York Times column (in its entirety) called "Animal House Summit." Here's a snippet:

The world may be blowing up, and the president may have a rare opportunity to jaw-jaw about bang-bang with his peers, but that pales in comparison with his burning desire to return to his feather pillow and gym back at the White House. "Gotta go home," he tells the guy next to him. "Got something to do tonight. Go to the airport, get on the airplane and go home." A White House spokesman said Mr. Bush had nothing on his schedule after he returned to Washington on Monday about 4 p.m. When he began meandering about how big Russia was, you expected him to yell, "Yo, Condi!'' and ask his secretary of state: "Hey, what's the name of that other big country that has more people than any other country in the world? It begins with a 'C.' Dad spent some time there."

Every time Bush pulls one of these embarrassing grade school stunts, everyone asks: Is Bush really as dumb as he looks? Hughes for America has the definitive answer this week, and he lets George W. Bush put on his own dunce cap:

It was the "shit" heard 'round the world. In fact, it drew top billing with many news outlets at a time when the world appears to be unraveling as we speak. Bush, who, like Blair, didn't know their conversation was being recorded, called the British prime minister over at the luncheon that closed the summit. "Blair," Bush asked, "what are you doing? You leaving?"

(snip)

After a brief exchange, and while continuing to talk with his mouth full of what appeared to be a roll, the president said, "See, the irony is what they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit, and it's over."

While using profanity and speaking with your mouth full are by no means nothing new - just ask my girlfriend, who could tell you both have been a part of my daily repertoire for years - I'm not the president. I'm not this nation's top ambassador to the rest of the planet. I'm not the public face of the United States of America. I'm just an average American and a blogger. I write things about people ranging from morons like Brad Stine and Ann Coulter to role models like Edward R. Murrow and Al Gore. I don't have my finger on the nuclear (or the "nucular") trigger. I don't travel in Air Force One, nor do I have a Secret Service detail. And I don't attend summits where I'm expected to, at the bare minimum, act like I've been there before. But Bush is all of these things; I'd just love to be able to dress him up and take him out without him embarrassing himself - or us.

A Wince Or A Smile?

Did you catch all of those corporate-owned media reports of German Chancellor Angela Merkel "smiling" when Bush invaded her physical space unannounced and proceeded to give her a massage? Taylor Marsh doesn't think it was a smile, and neither does anyone else with half a brain. Watch the YouTube video for yourself and see if you can tell the difference between a wince and a smile:


Ewwwwwww! There's no telling where the freak monkey's hands have been. FearTheReaper at Suicide Girls also has the screen capture pics of President Creepy Guy, some most excellent captions, and hysterically funny reader comments.

George W.'s Summer '06 Pet Goat Moment

And on the seventh day, Bush rested and, lo, he finally saw fit to send some ships and a plane toward Lebanon. Heckuvajob Condi at the State Department is all over this "well thought out evacuation plan," though. According to TPMmuckraker:

Lebanon: Telephone service is spotty -- both land lines and cellular networks are on-again, off-again in war-struck areas. Some even say that cellular telephone networks are down entirely. Electricity is out in parts of Beirut and southern Lebanon, probably as a result of Israeli bombing runs which targeted civilian infrastructure, including power plants and transformers.

An estimated 25,000 Americans were in Lebanon when the bombing began, according to CNN. A couple hundred appear to have made it out -- and the State Department says it plans on evacuating "as many as" 2,400 by Thursday. The rest -- by my count, more than 23,000 -- are being told to sit tight as the Israeli bombing continues, wait by their phones for a call, and check the embassy Web site for more information. So says Undersecretary of State Nicholas Burns: "We have an open line to all American citizens. We're in touch with them by Web site."

Pitiful.

If you're still wondering how the current crisis in the Middle East evolved into a CNN "Brink" banner, three sources comment on the situation: Paul Jordon at Bring it on!, The Daily Show's Jon Stewart, and former senator Gary Hart. From Bring it On!:

Hamas was bored and in need of some entertainment at the expense of Israel, so they went on a midnight raid, shot some guns, blew some stuff up, and killed two Israeli soldiers and kidnapped an Israeli soldier.

Well, Israel was obviously pissed, so Olmert and others said, "Hey", this sucks, let's kick some Hamas ass!" After a few days of reciprocal missile lobbing and general mayhem, Hezbollah saw what was going on and wanted to party with the neighbors as well. So Hezbollah (the Jones), not wanting to be out done by Hamas (the Smiths), decided that they would up the ante, kill eight Israeli soldiers and kidnap two, all in the name of one-upmanship. This is where it gets cloudy.

There are some who say that Damascus and Tehran were actually behind this second act, as a way to provoke U.S. intervention. And as well, there are those that say that the Hamas thing was a fake by CIA operatives who wanted to push the region over the edge in order to justify U.S. intervention.

At any rate, Israel, being the tenacious little bastards they have so lovingly come to be known as, lobbed a few missiles, Hezbollah said some nasty words, Damascus drew a line in the sand, Tehran said "I know nothinkkk!!" and a drone/possible Russian cruise missile, complete with CNN analysis and footage, slammed into an Israeli ship with "no casualties, no major damage," and overnight the price of oil raised to an historic, never before dreamed of, high of $78 a barrel!! Whew!!!! What a mouthful all that was.

Less than happy with media coverage of what's going on in Lebanon? Jon Stewart explains cable news networks' week-long "brink of war" obsession and their description of our own personal pain regarding the bombing and destruction… at the pump. And speaking of gas prices, Gary Hart at The Huffington Post explains how Bush's disastrous foreign policy shenanigans have brought about the current ME crisis:

By our justified overthrow of the Taliban in Afghanistan, though unsuccessful decapitation of al Qaeda, we removed a thorn in Iran's side. By removing Saddam Hussein, we removed a thorn in Iran's other side.

But, inadvertently and ignorantly, we empowered Iran to undertake a major intervention on behalf of the Shiite majority in Iraq. In response to our insistence that Iran not develop any nuclear capability, Iran and Syria have emboldened Hezbullah in Lebanon to energize Israel's formidable military and Hamas to do the same.

The U.S. is fighting a two front war with Afghanistan and Iraqi insurgents. Israel is fighting a two front war with Lebanon and the Palestinians.

Hart also wonders why we haven't heard from Iraq War promoters Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle, Douglas Feith, and/or Steven Cambone, and he asks how we like $4 a gallon gasoline. Heavy sigh.

Disease And Death vs. Test Tube Tots

According to Bush, some scientific breakthroughs are more equal than others. C-student Bush has chosen to exercise his first presidential veto this week by defying the desire of 3/4 of the country to explore the potential of stem cell research. The short term result: Scientifically produced Totsickles - 1, Humanity - 0. Mixed Musings offers a thoughtful analysis of the ruling, as well as this:


Sick Systemic Symphony

Charles Sullivan at OpEdNews reminds us how BushCo brought us to this point in time:

The Bush regime's contempt for human rights and their disdain for the earth are systemic. They have resulted in a litany of abuses that would rival those of Hitler and Mussolini combined. Most of the key players cut their teeth in the Reagan regime where they perfected the dark arts.

(snip)

Bush and his cadre of neo-conservatives may think that they are above the law and that they can act with impunity and without consequences. They may think of themselves as Gods who operate above the strata of ordinary mortals, as the result of their socioeconomic privilege. That is because other people have always born the cost of their wrong doing.

What's your favorite Bush Moment, Pet Goat or other? The Last Chance Democracy Cafe offers Letterman's Top Ten George W. Bush Videotape Moments for your perusal. Click for the video link, but stay for the comments. And don't despair!

What's obvious this week is that George W. Bush is never going to grow up and take his job seriously. He just celebrated his 60th birthday (Tony Blair gave him a sweater, you know), yet there's no sign whatsoever of either maturity or wisdom, is there? Birthdays are supposed to mark our personal growth and maturity milestones from birth to death. With this in mind, Carnival of the Liberals #17, hosted by Paul V at Brainshrub addresses the life-cycle: Birth, childhood, adolescence, adulthood, maturity and death. Don't miss this carnival! It's definitely both bookmark and comment worthy.

George W. has, indeed, had himself a hell of a week. But so has the country and the rest of the world. This is no week to forget, nor is it a week to give up fighting these fascists. Stay informed, stay alert, and stay strong. Any alternative is unthinkable.

-- Delilah Boyd

[uppityperson]

1. k&r for an excellent summnation.

presidential poop patrol

[ShortnFiery]

2. Thanks for putting this together ... :-)

Bluto does the G8? TOO FUNNY!

"Hey! Lookie here Angela and Blair! Guess what I am now?"

[Uncle Joe]

3. Welcome to D.U. BlogBox and thanks for posting

Kicked and recommended

:kick:

[displacedtexan]

9. Thanks! Actually, I've been here for years.

You know me as displacedtexan.

[PuraVidaDreamin]

4. G8 Greatest Hits!

you pulled this together brilliantly!

[Hand]

5. Quick and dirty, but...

[Gregorian]

6. Great stuff. However...Bush is not the president.

And this is why he is acting so odd. He doesn't have a thing to do with anything. He's just a limp sock puppet that only comes to life when the time is right.

Bush is gone in, at the very most, two years. Yet he was never here.

The one thing that bothers me most is the fixation on Bush. It's understandable. However, there is one thing I don't want to see happen. Bush looks so bad that even his own party is distancing themselves from him. What I don't want to see is all of the blame put on the sock puppet. The problem is the Republican party and it's neocons. Not Bush. The less legitimate Bush appears, the more legitimate the Republican party becomes.

I want the Republican party to pay a huge price for this. After all, Bush is their fault. They brought this on. Not Bush.

[DianaForRussFeingold]

7. Thanks for posting this masterpiece of righteous cynicism! Recommended!

Great Rant! Everything I've been thinking about for the past week and more! "It's definitely both bookmark and comment worthy".

:kick: recommended

[displacedtexan]

11. Stop! You're making me blush!

P.S. Thanks for the kudos, but Bush* did all of the "hard work"
to make this column memorable.

[Auntie Bush]

8. Wow BlogBox! That was an essay to remember! Thanks.

[DallasNE]

10. The Utterly Amazing Part Is That

If one is to believe Rasmussen polling numbers Bush's popularity has shot up 7 points, from 38 to 45, in the last couple of weeks.

With things unraveling at an ever faster pace one would think that the American people would be waking up to the inability of this man to lead anything. Bush is far more inept than even the hapless Gerald Ford. And 45% still think Bush is doing a good job? Give me a break.

[katinmn]

12. Thanks, Deliah. Definately a week that will stand out in our

Summer of Discontent.

:hi:

[Doctor_J]

13. What is the word for "beyond pathetic"?

What is the hell is wrong with him? Who tells him that he looks like a world leader in that stupid bikers' outfit?