Summer Of Snark

[BlogBox]

Now is the summer of our discontent made snarky by this vainglorious son of a Bush. This week's burning blog questions include: Are elected Republicans really dumb enough to brag (and blog) about their evil plans to destroy America as we know and love it? Do you suffer from ACMD (Acute Corporate Media Disease)? Are you Rapture Ready? Is Bush the s*#t? The answers, my friends, are posted on the blogs. Sing it with me! The answers are posted on the blogs...

Breaking News Snark! Republicans Are Dumb!

What do Bobby Jindal (R), Bennie Thompson (D), Dr. James Zogby (the pollster), Sheila Jackson Lee (D), and a brazillion others have in common? They're all blogging at The Hill's Congressional Blog. Here's an example from July 26, 2006:

I Am Optimistic About the Offshore Drilling Bill
July 26th, 2006

I'm optimistic that the Senate will vote on their version of the legislation. That gives us the month of August to work on it. Given that it's an election year, the sooner that we can vote on it, the better. We're expecting them to break the filibuster with 60-plus-one on Monday.

Posted by La. GOP Rep. Bobby Jindal

Nice of Republicans to show their cards on Capitol Hill's most widely read website, isn't it? And it's really nice to see Dems with a place to get their message out, despite the corporate media wall surrounding most of them. While we're on the subject of the corporate media...

Is ACMD Getting You Down?

Are you suffering from ACMD - Acute Corporate Media Disease? Has FOX dumbed down your friends, family and co-workers to the point that they're preparing for the rapture, which they think will come any minute now? Ishkabibel has both the CNN video link (beware - it's really freaky!) and the Rapture Index link. Better yet, take a few minutes to read DUer SoCalDem's decidedly snarky journal entry, "Cindy Lou & Jim Get Raptured......a cautionary tale." Now, doesn't that feel better?

If you're James Dobson, being Rapture Ready doesn't give you much more time to talk about your favorite subject, gay sex. No doubt about it, James Dobson loves gay sex! Think Progress notes Dobson's latest stupid saying: "Dogs aren't born mooing, and people aren't born gay." Click for the links and the quote, but stay for the comments. My favorite: "Some people may be born gay but James Dobson evolved to become the complete moron he is today." Dobson would probably faint if he knew that because of Morgan Spurlock's TV show, 30 Days, a straight conservative youth minister has... well, QUEERTY has the money quote:

While some "subjects" of Morgan Spurlock's 30 Days - where he takes a person ignorant of a certain way of life and immerses him in it for a month - have "relapsed," straight conservative youth minister Ryan Hickmott has not. After spending 30 days in San Francisco with a gay couple, he's still living his life under the notion that we're all equals.

By the way, before you click on QUEERTY's "Kathy Griffin's Lesbian Past" post (directly beneath the Spurlock post), be prepared to be disappointed. The pics of her old nose, chin, and hair, however, are worth the click. She's definitely morphed from a Bush-hating duckling into a Bush-hating swan babe. But I digress.

Just when you think it's you and not an acute attack of ACMD, Red Tractor USA points out the obvious:


Case closed.

Swiftboat, Every American Citizen Style

It's official. Republicans will swiftboat anyone. Think Progress has compiled (as they do so often and so righteously) a nifty list of wingnut pund-itiotic quotes aimed at the thoughtless 25,000 Americans who actually asked the US government to help them escape a freakin' war zone. Here's a test. Who said this? (A. Rush Limbaugh; B. Neil Cavuto; C. Mike Gallagher; D. Steve Doocy):

Even in the eyes of our ingrate, spoiled-rotten little children, brat-type ingrate citizens in Beirut, it's our fault. (Crying.) "It's a war zone. It's a war! How do I get out? (crying) We're having to shield ourselves from the sun in cardboard." (sobbing) That's embarrassing.

Click the link. They all had terrible, rotten things to say about American citizens left behind by the Bush administration, and we're not talking rapture here, either. We're talking absolutely pathetic Bush*t. Speaking of the maiming, and killing, and fleeing in terror in the Middle east this week, Bush and Rice don't want any of it to stop. At least, not yet. They want another week or two of even more maiming, killing and fleeing in terror, in order to bring about a "meaningful" cease-fire... which must mean that a regular run-of-the-mill cease fire (wherein people stop dying for at least a while) just isn't good enough for BushCo. And the smart kids on the corner say, "HUH?" Conclusion: Repukes must go!

So how do you get rid of Repukes once and for all? Buzzflash says we should heed the words of Richard M. Nixon. Calm down. Breathe. Buzz has a point, as well as the 1968 campaign video and this:

"Never has so much military and economic and diplomatic power been used so ineffectively," Nixon said, "and if after all of this time, and all of this sacrifice, and all of this support, there is still no end in sight, then I say the time has come for the American people to turn to new leadership not tied to the mistakes and policies of the past."

Of course, we know that Nixon had no intention of ending the war when he spoke those words, but then Nixon was also far enough into the red zone on the weird-o-meter to interest Oliver Stone.

Taranto Tales & Bill Bennett Virtues

Remember last week when Taylor Marsh posted the pics of Bush groping Angela Merkel? Well, this week the Wall Street Journal had the nerve to attack Taylor Marsh:

Last time I looked at Angela Merkel's face, she didn't look like she had invited George W. Bush to grope her.

That's really the rub with conservatives. When they touch a woman she usually recoils. Bill never got that reaction. Come on, James (Taranto), tuck it in. Your ego is showing.

Besides, the part of my old article that Mr. Taranto chose to bold is really what brought Clinton, ahem, down. Bill was stupid to have the affair, but again, an affair is consensual. Not exactly what went on between Bush and Merkel, and at least Clinton closed the door.

But from a party who's against affirmative action, you can't really expect them to understand sexual harassment, now can you?

The G in G8 doesn't stand for Gropefest... or did I miss something? By the way, Marsh also posted this pic of WSJ idiot, James Taranto (center):


Note to Taranto: If both Marsh and Olbermann are gunning for you, it's probably time to hightail it out of Dodge for a while.

Speaking of time to bail, we now might know why those rumors of Joe Lieberman running as a Republican got started. According to Taegan Goddard at Political Wire, GOP Senate candidate Alan Schlesinger has a bit of Bill Bennet in him...

The Hartford Courant sent a bunker bomb in to Connecticut Republican U.S. Senate hopeful Alan Schlesinger's flagging campaign today with revelations that the former legislator was successfully sued for thousands of dollars in casino debts he ran up in Atlantic City venues. Schlesinger's campaign was rocked last week by the news that, among other things, he had gambled in a Connecticut Indian casino under an assumed name, Alan Gold. His luck will have run out now.

Ah, those Republican family values. But wait! There's more!

We Are The World! We Are The Stem Cells!

Yes, it's the veto that says your life (or the life of someone you know and love) isn't worth as much as something smaller than a grain of salt. Bloggers continued to react this week to George W. Bush's "you're either with our stem cell designer babies or you're against them" defense of the right for cash-flush yet barren Wal-Mart shopping couples to use science to produce designer Snowflake babies. In addition to Jon Stewart's "Osama Bin Parkinsons" segment (You Tube), several others snarked the president's decision, among them: CuzUfeel Cold & Dark In Ur warm & fuzzy places; WWDDW?; and the definitive non-snarky (this time) JABBS (a leukemia survivor), who writes:

Now, I have nothing against adult stem cell research. Those of you who have read this blog know that I am a leukemia survivor, and only recovered because of an adult stem cell transplant, from my younger sister, in December, 2001.

But adult stem cells, while a powerful tool for doctors, do not have more promise than embryonic stem cells.

The Chicago Tribune knew this, too. But to make sure, it contacted a dozen top stem cell experts about Rove's claim. They all said it was inaccurate.

So who wrote the "studies" that Rove was referring to? Turns out that White House spokesman Ken Lisaius could not provide the name of a stem cell researcher who shares Rove's view -- the view that we have to assume is shared by Bush.

You rock, JABBS! Too bad you didn't have one of these bedpans to keep your spirits up during your 2001 stem cell transplant recovery:


Daily Kos has the snarky scoop on the Bedpan Artist (who happens to be a DUer), as well as the link to the artist's snarky bedpan gallery.

Need more to keep your spirits up? DUer Ava Lowery has created the first campaign commercial for DUer and Democratic U.S. Senate candidate Carl Sheeler (RI). You can view it at carlsheeler.com. While you're there, check out the candidate, Carl Sheeler. He's the brave (and oh so politically astute) guy who put up the "Be Patriotic Impeach Bush" billboard that caused all of the BushCo flying monkeys to screech so loudly.

We need a brazillion more candidates with actual spines, like Carl Sheeler. Unfortunately, for now, the BushCo beat goes on... but so does the snarking.

Is Bush Really The S*#t?

Born Slacker says yes, but it doesn't look like the Slacker means it in a good way. Also, in case you missed it... embedded in the post is the cutsie canned CNN coverage of Bush's G8... er... mouthful.

So many BushCo fiascos to snark about this summer, so little time before several more ooze up to the surface. Is Bush the s*#t? It looks like bloggers have successfully (and snarkily) changed s*#t from a noun to a predicate adjective; thus, the snarks of summer ask: Is Bush s*#tty? The answer is obvious to the snarks and snark lovers among us.

So what's really the s*#t this summer? Snarking the BFEE (Bush Family Evil Empire) and their flying monkey minions, that's what. But, to quote Bush, "It's hard work" (hard, I tell ya!) keeping up with all things snarkable about BushCo. Thanks to all who sent in this week's snark-filled links! Keep 'em coming, and keep on snarking this summer.

-- Delilah Boyd

[ray of light]

1. wow

[MGKrebs]

2. Odd that CANDIDATE Hank Johnson gets to post on thehill blog.

He's a county commissioner.

[MsMagnificent]

3. This just in at The Hill Blog

President’s Father Would Be the Right Man at the U.N.

July 28th, 2006

John Bolton is still the wrong man, for the wrong job, at the wrong time. His record over the past year has shown that the Senate was right to not confirm him last time around. The world is literally blowing up around us. We need someone who can advance America’s interests and get results. And whether it’s North Korea, the Middle East or Darfur, John Bolton isn’t getting the job done.

If President Bush were determined about installing at the UN a proven Republican who could work the art of diplomacy at this critical time, he need look no further than his own father - President Bush “41″ - who would be - as he was in those days after the tsunami - the right man, for the right job, at the right time.

Posted by Mass. Dem. Sen. John Kerry



And the BlogBox just happens to end with a reference to the BFEE
The fascinating world of synchronicity.