"Winning" and "Losing"...

[Totally Committed]

When we talk about contests, competitions, or elections, the terms "winning" and "losing" are often applied. Our society seems to be just set up that way.

In the United States, you are either a "winner" or a "loser", with very few people left in between. Some are seen as losers because of their circumstances in life, the color of their skin, whom they choose to love, their religion (or lack of religion), and/or whom they choose to support politically. This society is so bent on labelling, that even those who choose to sit out contests to avoid those labels are often seen as losers just for refusing to compete.

I have no article to link to this piece, no blog entry to cite, no quote to attribute. This is my opinion only, but it comes from my heart, so I hope you'll all consider it in that light.

When it comes to the issue of War, "winning" and "losing", must come to mean different things to us, or this society will lose it's moral compass and authority forever. I have read that President Bush said that Israel "won" the recent war with Hezbollah. Hezbollah has claimed the opposite. May I be so bold as to say neither of them is correct? Thousands and thousands of innocent civilians on both sides were caught in the middle of this war, and paid a very high price for it. No one should get to "win" when there is even one dead child on the ground, and in this war there were many. No one should get to "win" when the infrastructure of an entire country is bombed out of existence so that the people are left hungry, cold, homeless, and terrified. No one should get to "win" when they hide themselves and their weapons among the civilian population in order to use them as human shields. The same goes for those who refuse to negotiate a cease-fire to spare those innocents on the ground, those who refuse to call a cease-fire so that humanitarian aid can get to the victims of their war, or those who claim a God-given right over the same piece of land absolves them from the blood that is spilled there in His name.

When it comes to War, we should never allow any side to claim victory. There is no moral victory in death and destruction, and we, as a society will never evolve beyond where we are now if we allow those who kill and bomb and cause such misery and horror to claim their dominance is a "victory" or that they "won" anything. Yes, one side will "prevail" over another -- that is the way of all cometition and war-making. Winning implies there are "heroes" in the fight. In war, there are no heroes, except those that refuse to fight, refuse to kill, refuse to punish the innocent, and refuse to allow their governments to do any of those things in their names... Or those who valiantly save another life. Period.

"Winning" implies honor and respect and a righteous claim on those things. The only "winners" are the Peace-makers, my friends, and those who end up living in peace as a result of their stand on that issue. So, in the future, when we speak of "war" and "peace" can we think in those terms? "Prevail" is a better (and more accurate) term when applied to war. There are no "winners" in President Bush's government, the Israeli governement, or Hezbollah. We shouldn't allow any of them to claim so.

Just an opinion, for what it is worth.

TC

[blm]

1. IMO, this is the best work you ever posted.

I hope it "prevails" and will give it a K and R.

[Totally Committed]

2. I am very honored to have a compliment like that come from

another writer I respect as much as I do you. Thank you.

TC

[blm]

13. Ack - I can't write my way out of a paper bag.

I know alot of historic facts of governance and events and can connect them to pretty much everything happening today, but the actual writing is pretty awkward.

I am no writer. I'm just an earnest patriot with a great memory.

[CrispyQ]

3. Excellent commentary!

"When it comes to the issue of War, "winning" and "losing", must come to mean different things to us, or this society will lose it's moral compass and authority forever. ... When it comes to War, we should never allow any side to claim victory. There is no moral victory in death and destruction, and we, as a society will never evolve beyond where we are now if we allow those who kill and bomb and cause such misery and horror to claim their dominance is a "victory" or that they "won" anything."


Well stated. :thumbsup:

k&r

[Totally Committed]

4. Thank you very much.

Very kind of you to say so!

TC

[JeffR]

5. Well said. You've done a good job describing

our national obsession with the winners/losers narrative. I believe this stems from other dodgy aspects of our national mythology (Horatio Alger-type stories, rags-to-riches, he who gets the most toys wins). Everything becomes a contest, a game, with stats, scores and play-by-play analysis, usually no more sophisticated or meaningful than the average sports telecast.

America has a hard time digesting reality.

K & R.

[raccoon]

6. Good post.

This business of calling people "loser" for whatever reason, IME, is a fairly recent phenomenon--I don't remember hearing people say it a few decades ago.

Americans need to get away from this dickheaded, zero-sum thinking, so much of "he's got to lose in order for me to win." Sometimes that is the case, much of the time, it isn't.

[KKKarl is an idiot]

7. Great post

You definitely said it all. Nothing to add.

[kentuck]

8. Just your opinion?

But a worthy one! Thanks for the post.

[Totally Committed]

9. Thanks to all...

who appreciate the sentiment.

TC

[Stinky The Clown]

10. TC, you get my kick, and my nom .......

You've described very well a universal failing in our national psyche. We *are* obsessed with winning and losing.

And as someone said upthread, this is a newer phenomenon. I'd love to know how to stop it.

[Totally Committed]

11. I'm not sure how "new" it is, but it does seem to have something

to do with our need for validation. It has been internalized and it has been adopted as a national ethic. America must always be right... always number one... always a "winner". It's actually one of the most arrogant national stances on earth.

I feel it's also tied to the "masculinization" of our culture and our government. Even the women in our government dare not appear "softer" or "feminine" compared to their male counterparts, lest they lose their seats to one. The female colluders always fare better, but are still not seen as "equal" unless they are spouting the "Might = Right" masculine mantra.

Then there is our good-ole-boy Prez. Kick back with him, invite him to your next cook-out, have a beer with him... but know that underneath this good-ole-boy is a testosterone-soaked, arrogant war-monger. Emulate him, and that's what you become.

I don't see how we can rid ourselves of this until and unless their is some sort of watershed event that forces us to. I shudder to think what that will be.

TC

[Schema Thing]

12. This goes along with my idea that a key difference between the political

parties, is that, by nature, Democrats are much more interested in finding win-win solutions to every problem.


And I believe, that people adopting win-win thinking is the most important change that can happen on this earth.

[Donna Zen]

14. We've known this for thousands of years:

From Lao Tzu:

The use of force usually brings requital.
Wherever armies are stationed, briers and thorns grow.
Great wars are always followed by famines.
30.

Weapons are instruments of evil, not the instruments of a good ruler.
When he uses them unavoidably, he regards calm restraint as the best principle.
Even when he is victorious, he does not regard it as praiseworthy,
For to praise victory is to delight in the slaughter of men.
31.

Your mind keeps wise company TC.

Recently, Wes Clark was asked why he didn't use his "victory" in Kosova in his campaign. He answered that war is horrible and to be hated, never to used for political gain. His comment and yours reminded me of the words of Lao Tzu.

[AtomicKitten]

15. blessed are the peacemakers

For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil work will be there. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

* James 3:16-18

[Totally Committed]

16. I know this is kind of Off-Topic, but.....

IF YOU WANT TO HELP

Save the Children: Middle East Crisis - provides emergency response to children and families affected by the fighting in Lebanon and Israel.

http://www.savethechildren.org/emergencies/middle-east-crisis/index.asp

Direct Relief International: Middle East - offers assistance to address the health and medical needs of people in Israel and Lebanon.

http://www.directrelief.org/sections/our_work/middle_east.html

Oxfam: Middle East crisis- helps innocent people caught up in the violence in Lebanon, Israel and the Occupied Palestinian Territories.

http://www.oxfam.org/en/programs/emergencies/mideast06/index.htm

Human Rights Watch - monitors human rights developments around the world, including in Israel and Lebanon

http://www.hrw.org/

UNHCR: Lebanon - leads and co-ordinates international action to protect refugees.

http://www.unhcr.org/cgi-bin/texis/vtx/country?iso=lbn

UNICEF: Lebanon - priorities include child care and development, education, and youth empowerment.

http://www.un.org.lb/un/template.asp?id=329

Mercy Corps: Lebanon - delivering humanitarian aid within Lebanon as the latest outbreak of violence continues.

http://www.mercycorps.org/countries/lebanon

American Friends of Magen David Adom - works to provide medical supplies, equipment, and paramedic training throughout Israel.

http://www.afmda.org/site/PageServer

International Medical Corps: Lebanon - provides relief support to hospitals and refugee camps in southern Lebanon.

http://www.imcworldwide.org/loc_lebanon_crisis.shtml

I'll be posting this list at my DU Journal, as well.

TC

[zann725]

17. How true. That's why I always preferred the Arts...where individual

"performance" counted...not a clear-cut Win or Loss.

It's also why I've always hated Sports (sorry guys) so much. So MUCH emphasis on cut-thoat Win or Loss, at all costs. And so much above-the-average-Joe "privilege" accorded to athletes simply on the basis of their Win/Lose ability.

America IS more focused on macho Win/Loss (also symbolized in guns and wars and spousal/sexual abuse) than other nations.