nov 8, 2006-- george bush's speech

[niyad]

(edited to add the al gore line, because I got distracted)

on the morning of nov 8, 2006, this is the speech I would LOVE to hear george make:

"Citizens of the United States, in the election yesterday, which even our greatest efforts did not manage to bring us another victory, you made your wished known. Consequently, the entire cabinet, along with Vice-President Cheney and myself, are resigning, and turning ourselves in to the ICC, to be tried as we know we deserve.

Before I do, it has become clear to me that I must acknowledge what my administration has done since taking office. We did not listen to the advice of those who actually had experience in the intelligence field, and who knew and understood the incredibly complex situation in the Middle East. We were arrogant in thinking we could arrange things to our liking, and we were, as a consequence, terribly wrong. Nothing that I, or indeed any member of this administration could do, could ever bring back the thousands of dead, or make whole the countless numbers of wounded, but I will offer our deepest apologies. And all of the Cabinet secretaries, as well as Vice-President Cheney and myself, hereby pledge our personal fortunes so that they may be used to assist those in need, both in the military, and in the devastation wrought by the storms last year. Because of the dramatic and continuing failures of FEMA, the former and current heads will also be pledging their fortunes as well.

We know that we can never even begin to atone for the wrongs we have committed, but I do understand that, with the determination and resourcefulness that are amoung the hallmarks of this country, the citizens will be vigorously working to bring about the necessary changes.

My last act as president is to appoint Al Gore, the rightful holder of this office, to finally assume it.

Good morning, America.

[NavyDavy]

1. you have to have a conscience to admit you did something

wrong and accept responsibility

[Tiggeroshii]

2. He'll deny it till after the days of his sentencing. n/t

[Greeby]

3. You left out

all the pauses "uhhhhhhhs" "umms", "ahhs", smirks, cackles and snickers

[Fiendish Thingy]

4. I would not want to hear this speech...

because it would mean someone had spiked my orange juice with triple-strength LSD.
I can't even imagine that speech happening; I can, however, imagine Bush reacting to losing both houses of Congress...perhaps an extended vaction clearing brush in Paraguay?

[durtee librul]

5. Too many big

words in that speech for derchimpster.....he'd have to have the box on his back again and the speaker in his ear.....and he'd STILL F**K it up.

But yeah, it'd be nice if he'd get the idea...personally, I'd think it'd go more along the lines of,"well y'all thought the last 6 years were tough...if I don't get my way for the next 2, I'll have Alberto toss y'all in a detention camp."

[Thickasabrick]

6. Wouldn't that leave Hastert in charge?

[niyad]

7. that's true, but I think all that blubber is going to get to him.

[Thickasabrick]

9. It seems like he's gained more since the Foley thing. He

really needs to look into some healthy eating habits and maybe he has but I think the stress of all this might be adding to his weight - and he was seriously overweight before.

[MariaS]

8. I don't want him to acknowledge anything

because we all know that piece of crap would never do it. I want that monster and his minions punished severely. I want to see them tried and convicted of high crimes and mass murder. I would like to see them hung for treason and at the very least marched thru the streets of D.C. and stoned to death. And to quote a great orator "Have I mention today how much I hate those people".

[Hawkeye-X]

10. ... and I'm ordering all my family and friends who have profited from this..

and all their assets frozen and ordering the arrest and sent to ICC for immediate prosecution....