The headline I want to see on November the 8th...

[kentuck]

DEMOCRATS SWEEP THE HOUSE - WIN SENATE

Several Incumbents Go Down

Several longtime Republican incumbents went down to defeat last night. In perhaps the biggest surprise, Senator George Allen of Virginia was defeated by former-Republican-turned-Democrat Jim Webb. Webb won by a surprising margin in what many thought would be a very close race in which Allen would emerge victorious. The final margin of 52% to 47% surprised many political experts.

In the closest race of the night, Democrat Clair McCaskill won by the final tally of only 37,000 votes. Republican Jim Talent has said he will ask for a recount. Former Governor and Senator Talent was slightly favored before the election in most of the polls. The Democrats in Missouri were celebrating well into the morning after the final vote was announced.

In Tennessee, Rep. Harold Ford defeated Republican Bob Corker in an historic election which saw the first black Senator from the South since Reconstruction. Ford's appeal as a conservative Democrat and his positive message won over 51% of the vote to only 49% for his opponent. The new Senator addressed his supporters after the votes were counted and he told them that he still "liked football and girls".

In other Senate races, Rick Santorum was embarrassed by his Democratic opponent. The final vote showed that Casey had 56% to Santorum's 42%. Many attributed Santorum's defeat to the fact that he no longer lived in the state but was using PA taxpayer money to send his children to private schools in Virginia. That was more than Pennsylvanians could swallow.

Predictably, Michael Dewine, Lincoln Chaffee, and Conrad Burns were defeated in their races. Senator Dewine put up the best fight of the three, losing by only 3%. In any other state but Ohio, Senator Dewine probably would have won his race.

It was not a good night for the Republicans. The Democrats swept the House by winning several more seats than predicted. The final tally shows that the Democrats will have 245 Representatives in the new Congress, compared to only 190 Republicans. President Bush was not available for comment.

[gristy]

1. Well....

245? That's a lot more than "several more seats than predicted". Other than that, a well-written account!

[kentuck]

3. A good reporter doesn't like to exaggerate.

:hippie:

[FightingIrish]

2. In the pre-dawn hours President George W, Bush boarded

Marine One for a flight to Andrews Air Force Base. According to sources who requested anonymity, the president will be flying Air Force One to Paraguay where he is expected to begin a life of exile on his newly acquired 95,000 acre estate. The only personal effects that were loaded onto the Marine helicopter were a mounatin bike and a chain saw.

[gratuitous]

5. "Secret Service hides all pea shooters"

Lest despondent Bush try to blow his brains out.

[JeffR]

4. ! ! ! ! !

:woohoo:

[amb123]

6. Dreaming Big

Last week, I dreamed that the Democrats won 300 seats but 245 is nice too!

Anyway, it ain't over folks! We've still gotta work like we're 20 points behind and we need to keep it going until the last ballot is cast.

NO LETUP! NO LETUP! NO LETUP!

:kick: :kick: :kick:

[NanceGreggs]

7. In a related story ...

... FOX-News declared massive wins for all GOP candidates, simply by displaying a prominent (R) next to each winner's name as it was called, regardless of actual party affiliation.

Political analysts mused that given the penchant for most FOX watchers to rely soley on that network for news to the exclusion of any other source, most audience members will actually never know their party was soundly defeated.

[kentuck]

8. Probably closer to reality...

:)

[NanceGreggs]

9. Yeah, when the typical FOX-ite hears that those winners ...

... are actually (D)s and not (R)s, they'll just put it down to the librul media making shit up again.

[kentuck]

10. Yep, and the callers to C-SPAN...

...will accuse Brian Lamb of parroting the "liberal media". :)

[Kablooie]

11. That would be nice but I'd rather it said ...

GOP DISBANDING AS A POLITICAL PARTY

[underpants]

12. Clearly you have failed to consider the impact of the NJ gay case

because as we all know that is going to get the entire Republican base (all 115% of them) out to the polls in which the Republicans shockingly hold onto control of both houses of Congress.

:sarcasm:

I said a few months ago that I didn't see where the big Dem win was going to happen (in specific races) but I do think that we will get the House now. The Senate,no probably not but it will be close.

[kentuck]

13. Clearly..

:)