WaPo sez GOP clouded by scandal. Will Americans pretend that away?

[lwcon]

The GOP forecast is bleak, barring a high-pressure front bringing election fraud to the region, and there's a zero-percent chance of moral values:

Indictments, investigations and allegations of wrongdoing have helped put at least 15 Republican House seats in jeopardy, enough to swing control to the Democrats on Tuesday even before the larger issues of war, economic unease and President Bush are invoked.

With just five days left before Election Day, allegations are springing up like brushfires. Four GOP House seats have been tarred by lobbyist Jack Abramoff's influence-peddling scandal. Five have been adversely affected by then-Rep. Mark Foley's unseemly contacts with teenage male House pages. The remaining half a dozen or so could turn on controversies including offshore tax dodging, sexual misconduct and shady land deals.

Let's pretend for a moment that today's Republican Party has a soul, that it values common people more than it cherishes Mammon.

Let's pretend that Republicans value peace over the cheap thrills of sending other people's children to kill and die.

Let's pretend that they embody Jesus' message of love and charity.

Let's pretend that their word is their bond, with messages like "compassionate conservatism," "war is the last resort," "era of personal responsibility," "we support our troops," and "no child left behind."

Let's pretend that letting the most powerful corporations and their lobbyists craft federal legislation is in the best interests of every American.

Let's pretend that the best way to protect the environment and have peace in the Middle East is to have petroleum executives run the world's largest consumer of energy.

Let's pretend that the best way to put money in the pockets of average Americans is to give tax cuts to the wealthiest 1%.

Let's pretend that turning a record surplus into a record deficit is prudent financial stewardship.

Let's pretend that the future-tense document "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S" was "an historical document."

Let's pretend that never once convening an anti-terrorism task force and sitting vacantly in a classroom while America was under siege is the highest standard of protecting our nation.

Let's pretend that abandoning a great American city in its time of need is further proof of our security, and of the decency and organizational prowess of our leaders.

Let's pretend that it's better to discard unused fetuses from in vitro fertilization than to use them to cure terrible diseases.

Let's pretend that tilting at WMD windmills in Iraq helped stop North Korea and Iran from advancing nuclear programs, and that everything that happened in the last six years really happened under Clinton.

Let's pretend that the correct response to senseless death is more senseless death, whether it's sacrificing American soldiers so that other ones whose lives we squandered "didn't die in vain," or killing thousands of innocent Iraqis to avenge the thousands of innocent Iraqis that Saddam Hussein killed, back when he was our ally.

Let's pretend that ignorance, arrogance, and pigheadness are the same things as vision, statesmanship, and resolve.

Let's pretend that illegal surveillance, legalized torture, and breaking down of the separation of church and state are what our forefathers would have hoped we'd one day achieve.

Let's pretend that Jesus really did tell George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld to open Pandora's Box in the Middle East.

Let's pretend that starting a disastrous war on false and ever-changing pretenses is of little consequence, so long as the party has a cross, a flag, and picture of Ronald Reagan to wave in our faces.

Let's pretend that House and Senate Republicans vote their consciences and that they won't rubberstamp laws that undermine the Constitution, they won't continue to bust the treasury, and they won't vote in reactionary Supreme Court justices who will haunt us for years to come.

Now, let's stop pretending, and vote these bastards out of office.


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[gratuitous]

1. Who told the Post that the GOP is having trouble?!

My goodness, they've been such a consistent cheerleader for every hare-brained scheme to come out of this bunch of crooks, and a pretty reliable conduit for the most mealy-mouthed rationalizations. Now, five days before the election, somebody finally noticed that the Republicans might have a wee bit of taint.

Yeah, let's stop pretending shall we? People are dying by the hundreds and thousands thanks to the murderously inept policies of the Republicans.

[lwcon]

2. After the Foley scandal...

... the phrase "wee bit of taint" took on new meaning. :v)

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Hey, the liberal light is always on at the Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy. Please stop by and say "hi!"