I hereby declare war on happy holidays

[Bjorn Against]

Dear Commie Pinko Bastards,

Us patriotic Amuricans over at Free Republic do more than anyone to protect our homeland against the threats we face every day. We have enlisted many of our men to fight in this war that our party is currently waging. All you libruls who accuse us of being to chicken to fight our own damn wars do not know what you are talking about, we are putting our people on the line and fight a real war. But we did not wage this war. The libruls declared a War on Christmas and we are fighting back.

Thats right don't accuse of us being chickenhawks because we are brave soldiers standing up to make sure that no one has happy holidays. They always tell me to have a happy holiday, well hell no I ain't having no happy holidays. I want pissed off holidays where we are supposed to scared of the terrurists.

You want me to fight in Iraq, I can't fight in that war when we got a war being waged on our own soil. I got a protect Amurica before Santa gets mad and straps a bomb onto Rudolph's nose and rides right into the Empire State Building.

So don't accuse of me of being a coward, by deciding to stay out of Iraq and fighting here at home to make sure that no one has happy holidays I am showing the same courage George Bush showed during his Texas Air National Guard Service. That's right George Bush risked his life in ways many Americans don't realize during his years in the military. When he didn't show up it meant he was on a super secret mission. A deadly mission which involved snorting white powder to make sure it wasn't anthrax.

I will continue to bravely stand up to the retailers who are so rude to have wished us to be happy on the holidays, and demand they all say Merry Christmas. And I will do my part to defend Amurica by staying home from Iraq so that I can take on dat terrurist hiding behind your Christmas tree.

Merry Christmas, and pissed off holidays to you all.

Signed,
Bill O'Reilly

[Kiouni]

1. that's pretty good!

I never thought of santa as a terrorist before.

[AtomicKitten]

2. A Festivus for the rest of us.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Festivus