Pass the Popcorn ... - Democratic Underground

NanceGreggs

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Tue May-15-07 12:20 AM
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Pass the Popcorn ...

... 'cause THIS is gonna be GOOD!
By Nancy Greggs

Apparently the Republicans’ political consultants, PR advisors, think tanks and focus groups have collectively come to the same conclusion: September is the point of no return, the last possible moment that the GOP can continue to support their Fearless Leader and his Iraq war policies without losing it all in 2008.

Well, I don’t know how much money got spent on that useless piece of information (and it was probably a lot), but I could have told them the unvarnished truth, free of charge: Nice try, but you’re more than four years too late.

It certainly comes as no surprise that with the public’s waning support for this war, the GOP – ever mindful of which way the wind is blowing – would suddenly decide that their heretofore unshakable loyalty to BushCo would require, shall we say, a little attitude readjustment.

But what intrigues me is exactly how they plan on switching horses in mid-stream without winding up with nothing more than soggy derrieres.

In this case, the possibilities are, indeed, not endless, because even though they are masters of the craft, there is only so much BS even a Republican politician can fling.

Will it be the America, you got punk’d scenario? “Yo, we were never for this war. Don’t tell me you believed that crap! We was just funnin’ with you; where’s your sense of humor? Like, dude, when we called you all Al Qeada-lovin’ traitors, didn’t you see us wink?”

Perhaps they’ll adopt the deny-you-ever-said-it stance, popularized by George “It was never about stay-the-course” Bush himself: “As we’ve said from day one of this fiasco, this entire venture was a disastrous idea.”

They could use the Alberto Gonzales approach: “You know, we just don’t recall ever being for this invasion of Iraq thing at all,” or the WH press secretary classic: “We are still looking into exactly what our previous position was and, unfortunately, cannot comment on an ongoing investigation.”

The Fundies might appreciate the Jim Swaggart drama of dissolving into tears and praying for forgiveness for their errant ways, or perhaps an apparition of the Lord Himself telling them that wandering in the desert for forty years is old school, and He’s decided on a new direction for his Chosen Warmongers.

Of course, my personal favorite – and I’m really hoping they go with this one – is: "We were behind this whole Iraq thing as long as it was successful, which it was until yesterday. But in the last twenty-four hours, it just all started falling apart,” perhaps followed with the fiscal responsibility aspect: “You know, we told Bush from the beginning, we’ll support you up to the hundred thousand trillion mark. But a penny more than that, and we’re out of here.”

Of course, no matter how you slice it, dice it, fold, spindle, staple or mutilate it, it still comes down to the same thing: “We were for this war, until we were against it.” Talk about your own words coming back to bite you in the ass – and then some.

Let’s face it, GOP. No matter what you say, what you do, how much you rattle, prattle, obfuscate, fudge, make excuses, make amends, try to deceive, nothin’ up my sleeve, distract, infer, imply, deny, and generally talk out of the other side of your smirky mouths, the facts are the facts, and they are inescapable.

This is your war, the one you have supported, funded, and cheerleaded literally to death, and there isn’t a voter in this country who’s going to forget who was waving those big-ass pom-poms while it was politically expedient to do so – not now, not in the next election, not ever.

NOT EVER.