How to be be a good Republican!

[ShaneGR]

How to be a good Republican :-} It's easy. Memorize
these truths:

1) Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime,
unless you are millionaire conservative radio jock,
which makes it an "illness" and needs our prayers for
your "recovery".

2) Those privileged from birth achieve success all on
their own.

3) The US should get out of the UN/our highest
national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against
Iraq.

4) Government should stay out of people's lives unless
it needs to punish anyone caught having private sex
with the "wrong" gender.

5) Pollution is OK so long as it makes a profit.

6) Prayer in schools is good, as long as you don't
pray to Allah or Buddha.

7) "Standing Tall for America" means firing your
workers and moving their jobs to India.

8) A woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her
own body, but large multi-national corporations can
make decisions affecting all mankind with no
regulation whatsoever.

9) Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of AIDS
victims, homosexuals, and Hillary Clinton.

10) You hate the ACLU for representing convicted
felons, but they owed it to the country to bail out
Oliver North.

11) You believe the best way to encourage military
morale is to praise the troops overseas while cutting
their VA benefits.

12) You believe that group sex and drug use are
degenerate sins that can only be purged by running for
governor of California as a Republican.

13) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out
of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't
have condoms they won't have sex.

14) You have to believe that the best way to fight
terrorism is to alienate our allies and then demand
their cooperation and money.

15) You have to believe that government medicine is
wrong and that HMO's and insurance companies only have
your best interests at heart.

16) You have to believe that providing health care to
all Iraqis is sound government policy but providing
health care to all Americans is socialism personified.

17) You believe that tobacco's link to cancer and
global warming are "junk science", but Creationism
should be taught in schools.

18) You have to believe that waging war with no exit
trategy was wrong in Vietnam but right in Iraq.

19) You have to believe that Saddam was a good guy
when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy
made war on him, a good guy when Cheney was doing
business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a
"we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

20) You believe that government should restrict itself
to just the powers named in the Constitution, which
includes banning gay marriages and censoring the
Internet.

21) You have to believe that the public has a right to
know about the adulterous affairs of Democrats, while
those of Republicans are a "private matter".

22) You have to believe that the public has a right to
know about Hillary's cattle trades but that Bush was
right to censor those 28 pages from the Congressional
9/11 report because you just can't handle the
truth.


23) You support state rights, which means Ashcroft
telling states what locally passed voter initiatives
he will allow them to have.

24) What Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital
national interest but what Bush did decades later is
"stale news" and "irrelevant".

25) Trade with Cuba is wrong because it is communist,
but trading with China and Vietnam is just dandy.

[spooky3]

1. Number 26)

You think that a great way for your present or former employer to address complaints that it overcharged federal taxpayers for gasoline, meals it failed to serve to our military, etc., is to spend some of those fraudulently acquired $ on public relations advertising, which only serves to remind taxpayers of this.