After 5 Years In U.S., Terrorist Cell Too Complacent To Carry Out Attack

[TechBear_Seattle]

Best. Onion. Article. EVER.

After 5 Years In U.S., Terrorist Cell Too Complacent To Carry Out Attack

SAN CLEMENTE, CA—Five years after settling in southern California and trying to blend into American society, a six-man terrorist cell connected to the militant Islamist organization Army of Martyrs has reportedly grown too complacent to conduct its suicide mission, an attack on the San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station.

According to cell leader and boat owner Jameel al-Sharif, the potentially devastating operation, which involves breaching the station's reactor core and triggering a meltdown that could rival the Chernobyl disaster, "can wait."

"We remain wholly committed to the destruction of America, the Great Satan," al-Sharif said. "But now is not a good time for us. The season finale of Lost was such a cliff- hanger that we have to at least catch the first episode of the new season. After that, though, death to the infidels."

"Probably," added al-Sharif, who noted that his nearly $6,000 in credit-card debt from recent purchases of a 52-inch HDTV and a backyard gas grill prevents him from buying needed materials for the attack.

The article continues at http://www.theonion.com/content/news/after_5_years_in_u_s_terrorist

[no_hypocrisy]

1. Ah, the Ninotchka Syndrome*

* reference to the 1939 film starring Greta Garbo and Melvyn Douglas.

Garbo and three compatriots spies from the Soviet Union incrementally become intoxicated by the materialistic West and cannot do their duties for their government as a result.

[Joffan]

2. Enemies of America, take heed

Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.

:toast:

[Viva_La_Revolution]

3. lol!

Welcome to DU!

[MediaPatrol]

4. Wow, that could be bad for bidneth!

http://www.alertsusa.com/

[Bucky]

5. God, that site almost had me fooled.

They're trying real hard to look like a government site.
The little minuteman logo looks like a DHS logo. Still, it's nice to know that if al Qaeda blows up San Diego, I'll be the first to get a text message on my Sprint phone. I've always wanted to have an opportunity to break castastrophic news to a room full of people. Thanks to AlertUSA.com (and Osama bin Laden, of course)... I can!