WWJBD: What would Jack Bauer Do?

[Vyan]

It's good to know that Justice Scalia is on the case whenever a "strict constructionist" issue like terrorism or torture is on the plate. Just take a look at some of his recent comments endorsing Jack Bauer Justice.

Senior judges from North America and Europe were in the midst of a panel discussion about torture and terrorism law, when a Canadian judge's passing remark - "Thankfully, security agencies in all our countries do not subscribe to the mantra 'What would Jack Bauer do?' " - got the legal bulldog in Judge Scalia barking.

The conservative jurist stuck up for Agent Bauer, arguing that fictional or not, federal agents require latitude in times of great crisis. "Jack Bauer saved Los Angeles. ... He saved hundreds of thousands of lives," Judge Scalia said. Then, recalling Season 2, where the agent's rough interrogation tactics saved California from a terrorist nuke, the Supreme Court judge etched a line in the sand.

"Are you going to convict Jack Bauer?" Judge Scalia challenged his fellow judges. "Say that criminal law is against him? 'You have the right to a jury trial?' Is any jury going to convict Jack Bauer? I don't think so.

"So the question is really whether we believe in these absolutes. And ought we believe in these absolutes."

Essentially Scalia is advocating jury nullification here, because there are any number of crimes that Jack Bauer has commited including murder, hijacking, torture, armed robbery, kidnapping, and instigating a jailbreak for a federal prisoner all in the name of expediency not Justice.

There's never enough time for a pesky Warrant (or even probable cause for the type of 3 day after the fact warrants that are available under the patriot act). There's never enough to time to find out if you actually have the correct house, the correct suspect or are even pursuing the correct crime on that show.

For those who think Jack is a "hero" consider this - he single handedly hijacked Marine One, then kidnapped and tortured the President - who by the way didn't talk. Who could ever do that and not wind up somewhere under Leavenworth? He's tortured his own brother nearly to death, and then was so incompetent as to leave him unprotected when their father came in to finish the job to keep him quiet. In this latest season, people could say that he helped avert a shooting war between America and the Soviets, except for the fact that the piece of Russian technology that they were arguing over was stolen by Jack in the first place in order for him to try and pull off an exchange with the Chinese to save his ex-girlfriend. An exchange that went completely awry of course.

This "ends justifies the means" crap is how we get people like Tim Griffin Caging the Votes of African American Soldiers and then having a crying jag about how persecuted he's been. It's how we get people like David Safavian, and Claude Allen working the White House or Monica Goodling and Brad Schlozman at the DOJ. It's how we wound up in the middle of a Civil War Genocide in Iraq.

Jack Bauer is a Criminal. He should be tried and convicted for his crimes. Afterward, when he's done some jail time, he (like Scooter Libby if one were to actually follow the Justice Dept. Guidelines) might be reasonably eligible for a Presidential Pardon for his service to his country, but not before. Failing to address his lawlessness with legal sanctions has simply allowed it to grow more and more egregious. Now he's become a total loose cannon, who is on the run from the government for his variuos actions of insubordination as of the end of the latest season.

Oh by the way - back in the "real world" - I hear the department of Homeland Security is upping the threat level because they've heard that Snidley Whiplash is on the loose and plans to stur up trouble as soon as he hooks up with Natasha and Boris Badinov.

That's right after the terrorists attacks against President Harrison Ford on Air Force One and the Nakitomi Plaza Incident - we have to be all the more vigilant against these animals, and be ready to use any and all means neccesary to combat them.

Hello! It's a fricking TV SHOW!

It's bad enough that our troops and west point cadets already seem to be taking hints from Jack Bauer on morality and the law rather than from thier own instructors now we have this.

But just remember kids, even though "Jack Bauer saved Los Angeles", Buffy Summers saved the Whole World - A Lot.

Vyan

[nxylas]

1. What about Superman?

I'm pretty sure he never went through the proper channels when immigrating from Krypton. No amnesty!

[Vyan]

2. Send him back to the Phantom Zone...

That'll learn 'im for being a lousy illegal immigrant!

Vyan

[AnnieBW]

18. And the entire Justice League!

Supe, the Martian Manhunter, and Hawkgirl are all illegal aliens. Wonder Woman is from an island of man-hating Feminazis. The only red-blooded 'Murkins on the JL are Green Lantern (who was trained by aliens), Bats, and the Flash.

[gratuitous]

3. Scalia sits on the Supreme Court

And he thinks a Hollywood script is real. Back in the day, we used to put people like this into institutions where orderlies in white uniforms would tend to their basic needs and let them go chase butterflies in the field from time to time. In Republican dominated America, though, he gets a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court, where he issues nutty rulings based on his understanding of popular TV shows.

Brilliant.

[kenny blankenship]

4. Also, Batman never read any perp his rights before or after beating him crapless

And yet people still get irate about so-called "police brutality". Pathetic.

If only more people would apply the RIGHT lessons, derived from the RIGHT sources, like Justice Scalia does!

[ShortnFiery]

5. WTHCIF - Who the Hell Cares It's FICTION! n/t

[nxylas]

6. Sadly, Justice Scalia is a real person

If the Bush Administration was fiction, life would be a lot easier. Trouble is, nobody would believe it.

[Vyan]

7. The Dean at West Point

Brigidier General Patrick Finnegan apparently does, since he went down to Fox Studios to stage an intervention.

Finnegan and the others had come to voice their concern that the show’s central political premise—that the letter of American law must be sacrificed for the country’s security—was having a toxic effect. In their view, the show promoted unethical and illegal behavior and had adversely affected the training and performance of real American soldiers. "I’d like them to stop," Finnegan said of the show’s producers. "They should do a show where torture backfires."

As a result of the visit to the "24" set by Finnegan and others including actual military interrogators some of the cast, including Keifer Sutherland have agreed to go to West Point themselves and personally expain to the cadets - because like Scalia they don't seem to believe it - that "Torture is wrong"

Sutherland was "really upset, really intense" and stressed that he tries to tell people that the show "is just entertainment." But Sutherland, who claimed to be bored with playing torture scenes, admitted that he worried about the "unintended consequences of the show."

"24" wingnut creator/producer Joel Surnow won't be going along for the trip.

Vyan

[pansypoo53219]

8. so,

how did that inquisition go? did that work??? doesn't the bible say something about using honey?
torture only works in fiction.

[montanto]

9. "Jack Bauer saved Los Angeles . . ."

And I'm damned thankeful, too, because I live in L.A. My hat is off to Mr. Bauer!!



I haven't been out to Valencia since the blast.

:nuke:

I wonder how the cleanup is going. I haven't heard that much about it in the news.

[Vyan]

10. I hear that

Magic Mountain is Real Fucked Up Now, but I wouldn't know ABC Eye-Witless News has had a police car chase on for the last 17 hours staight.

Vyan

[montanto]

11. There it is.

Car chases and Paris Hilton are always more important than real news like the nuke that fucked up magic mountain!

[Reader Rabbit]

14. So we can still get a Tommy Burger. Excellent!

Damn terrorists, screwing with our chili burgers.

[montanto]

19. Yessssss!!!111! I had one this weekend

at the original location. totally unscathed by the blast! Thank God and Jack Bauer for that.

[Skittles]

12. I've never seen that show but

it sounds f***ing nauseating :puke:

[DeeDeeNY]

13. This is crazy

Next thing you know, he'll be writing opinions based on what Captain Kirk would do.

[ShortnFiery]

15. Yep, but the big tell will be when Scalia asks for activation of *The Cone of Silence.*

:scared: :rofl:

[rucky]

16. And don't even get me started on video games. n/t

[AnnieBW]

17. Angel Saved LA as many times as Jack Bauer Has!

Except that the Fang Gang got cancelled by the WB for their troubles. And besides, what's a few lousy terrorists when you're saving the world from Demons, rogue Goddesses, and Wolfram and Hart! And don't even get me started on how many times SG-1 has saved Earth from the Gou'a'uld, Ori, and other galactic baddies.

No wonder conservatives are so worried about kids getting warped by sex and violence in the media and in video games. THEY are the ones that can't separate fantasy from reality, not our children!