The Rude Pundit: Note to Fran Townsend: If There's "No Question," ...

[meegbear]

Why Are You Holding a Press Briefing?

One of the things that we've learned from the Bush administration is that there is no such thing as doubt. Doubt is for mortals and the White House is, indeed, seemingly eternal (as in "Holy fuck, will this ever end?"). When Homeland Security Advisor Fran "The Hotness That Will Hurt You" Townsend gave a press briefing yesterday to talk about big butch al-Qaeda's regrouping in the wake of the publicity blitz the Bush administration organized for them in Iraq, she left the impression that no one should ask her dick because everything's just so self-evident. To wit:

"There should be no question in anybody's mind, despite our successes, this is an enemy that remains determined...there's no question that their objective. There's no question, in any war, whether it's this war or historical wars, that our enemy seeks to take advantage for propaganda purposes of activities on the battlefield...There's no question that everyplace they seek to fight, when they're fighting they are honing battlefield capabilities...

"There's no question the President has made perfectly clear if we had actionable targets anywhere in the world, putting aside whether it was Pakistan or anyplace else, we would pursue those targets...there's no question President Musharraf is taking on extremism...So there should be no question that Pakistan takes it seriously...

"Well, there's no question that we've watched developing tactics...There is no question that al Qaeda core -- bin Laden and Zawahiri -- have worked to regenerate their ability to communicate...There's no question that bin Laden and Zawahiri continue to be a threat to the security of the American homeland...

"Well, there is no question -- and when we talk about Pakistan and bin Laden, we're talking about the federally administrated tribal areas...There is no question, based on the statements of bin Laden, himself, not to mention others and al Qaeda, that they regard Iraq as the central front in the war on terror...there is no question that we have put extraordinary resources against finding him."

Nothing to see here, sweet gathered members of the malleable American media: no question about al-Qaeda's strength and ability to do evil evilness, no question that Musharraf actually gives a shit about anything other than his own power, no question, indeed, that we're spending a fuck of a lot of money. No question, just move along.

The other fascinating aspect of Townsend's briefing was this revealing little snippet about the United States' actions in Iraq being a propaganda coup for terrorist groups: "So we should leave them and we should not disturb our enemies anywhere in the world because they may use it for propaganda value? I don't think so." Perhaps Townsend's right, that we should just conduct our governmental and defense affairs without regard for the propaganda purposes it may be used for by our enemies.

Of course, maybe she should tell Dick Cheney, President Bush, and other pukes in the White House, who declare any time Democrats debate the war that al-Qaeda will use it for propaganda and emboldening. But that might introduce grey areas, or "questions," into the debate.

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[Perry Logan]

1. In the Republican nirvana of the future, press conference questions will be lobbed by gay hookers.