The 50 Dumbest Things Bush Has Ever Said

[politicalhumor]

Here's a handy compilation of the most stupid, inane, and maniacal utterances to come out of Bush's mouth during the course of his tragicomic presidency:

The 50 Dumbest Things George W. Bush Has Ever Said

Of course, it begs the question: How is it even possible to limit such a list to 50? Can anyone think of any other good ones that are missing?

[liberal N proud]

1. And that is only the tip of the iceberg so to speak

[locopolitico]

2. Bush uses "the Google"

One of my personal favorites:

"One of the things I've used on the Google is to pull up maps."

[DrDan]

3. what a great list

I understand tripping over a few words . . . but some of these quotes are downright scary . . . this guy is delusional.

K&R

[Jack Rabbit]

4. My all-time favorite is only number 44:

You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.

[eppur_se_muova]

5. How 50? By truncating an infinite series. nt

[colorado_ufo]

6. I really, truly think that he says some of this sh_t on purpose.

He just thinks he is terrifically clever, and it delights him to see just what he can get away with. He thinks the public and the press are fools, quite inferior to his suberb intellect.

[AnneD]

7. ONLY FIFTY.....

we still have 2 years.

[Cant trust em]

8. Must have been tough to narrow down to the top 50

[Lucinda]

9. I'd missed a few of these

If I weren't actually living during this fiasco, I'd think it was pure fiction. Unsellable, bad fiction.

[LWolf]

10. My favorites:

30. "They misunderestimated me." No, George. We didn't. Really.

29. "Because the — all which is on the table begins to address the big cost drivers. For example, how benefits are calculate, for example, is on the table; whether or not benefits rise based upon wage increases or price increases. There's a series of parts of the formula that are being considered. And when you couple that, those different cost drivers, affecting those — changing those with personal accounts, the idea is to get what has been promised more likely to be — or closer delivered to what has been promised. Does that make any sense to you? It's kind of muddled."

...:yoiks:

13. "I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace." Right. And when the Supreme Court said you were "selected," they were really saying "selected for admittance to the Texas State Mental Hospital."

5. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." You're right. I've never had an OB-GYN try to practice his "love" with me. I've been left behind! :cry:

4. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." I've never doubted that for a minute, George.

[MsLeopard]

11. They forgot

"I'm a uniter, not a divider."

"We're gonna smoke him out, dead or alive."

And then my personal horrifying favorite, "I'm going to rid the world of evil."

Three oldies but goodies.

[Bryn]

13. They forgot:

"I am a war President" ... Bush

[Faux pas]

12. Good stuff, but it should be in a category called political tragedy

not humor. Nothing is funny about that man.

[Harry Monroe]

14. Forgive me if some of this is repetitive...

...but here are quite a few that didn't make the top 50:

"I'm the master of low expectations" - Aboard Air Force One, 2003

"I was raised in the West. The West of Texas. It's close to California. In more ways than Washington, DC is close to California" - as quoted in the Los Angeles Times, 2000

"I understand small business growth. I was one." - New York Daily News 2000

"I've coined new words like misunderstanding and Hispanically." - Radio Television Correspondents Association Dinner 2001

"I want everybody to hear loud and clear that I'm going to be the president of everybody." - Washington, DC 2001

"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question." - In response to a question about whether he should take back any of his answers from his first Al Gore debate, 2000 (so, perhaps Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny DO exist!!)

"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right." - Rome, 2001 (which explains his head up his ass!!)

"The important question is, how many hands have I shaked?" - In response to why he didn't spend more time in New Hampshire 1999

"This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you do when you run for President. You gotta preserve." - Speaking at Fairgrounds Elementary School, during Perseverance Month 2000

"Governor, thank you very much. I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport." - Arlington, VA 2001

"Brie and cheese" - To reporters on what Bush imagines reporters eat – 2001

"Oftentimes, we live in a processed world - you know, people focus on the process and not the results." - Washington DC 2003 (is this like processed cheese??)

"In my judgment, when the United States says there will be serious consequences, and if there isn't serious consequences, it creates adverse consequences." - Meet The Press 2004 (consequently, this is very serious)

"We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans." - Scranton PA 2000 (it should be the janitor)

"If you don't stand for anything, you don't stand for anything. If you don't stand for something, you don't stand for anything." - Bellevue, WA 2000 (may I sit now?)

"Actually, I - this may sound a little West Texas to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about - when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about Me." - Hardball 2000 (I knew that!!)

"Reading is the basics for all learning." - Announcing his "Reading First" Initiative in Reston, VA 2000 (but what is the definition of "is"?)

"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." - US News and World Report, 2000 (but if you ain't learning nothing.....)

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be to pass a literacy test." - Townsend TN 2001 (this is so self explanatory)

"It's your money. You paid for it." - La Crosse WI 2000 (can I get a refund??)

"Arborist...Look up the word. I don't know, maybe I made it up. Anyway, it's an arbo-tree-ist, somebody who knows about trees." - as quoted in US Today 2001 (and someone who knows about speaking out of their ass is a proctologist?)

"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating." - As quoted in the New York Daily News 2002 (and following this logic isn't????)

"First, we would not accept a treaty that would not have been ratified, not a treaty that I thought made sense for the country." - On the Kyoto Accord/Washington Post 2001 (at last Dubya defines his plan for the country)

"The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein and his willingness to terrorize himself." - Grand Rapids, MI 2002 (With Dubya in the White House, I'm feeling slightly terrorized myself!!)

"If I'm the president, we're going to have emergency-room care, we're going to have gag orders." - Saint Louis, MO 2000 (don’t know about you, but I'm following the gag orders)

"He married like me, above his head." - On US Ambassador Paul Celluci 2001 (alrighty then!!)

"Bill wrote a book at Yale. I read one." - On William F. Buckley, Al Smith dinner, NYC 2000 (apparently, it wasn't the same book)

"People say, how I can help on this war against terrorism? How can I fight evil? You can do something by mentoring a child, by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you." - Washington, DC 2002 (because God knows, those evil juvenile house bound folks would get past their terroristic ways if they just felt loved!!)

"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." - Chamber of Commerce, NE 2000 (I just wonder if it's still edible??)

"I want each and every American to know for certain that I'm responsible for the decisions I make and each of you are, as well." - Live with Regis 2000 (times like this I'm glad I'm not a very responsible person)

"There may be some tough times here in America. But this country has gone through tough times before, and we're going to do it again." - Waco, TX 2002 (ah......the silver lining!)

"It's very interesting, when you think about it, the slaves who left here to go to America, because of their steadfast, and their religion and their belief in freedom, helped change America." - Dakar, Senegal 2003

"They misunderestimated me." - Bentonville, AR 2000

If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
...George W. Bush

“Thank you for taking time out of your day to witness my hanging” – Austin, TX 2002, at the dedication of his gubernatorial portrait at the Texas State Capitol

“Who could have possibly envisioned an erection – an election in Iraq at this point in history??” 2005

“Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?” 2000

“You work three jobs?…Uniquely American, isn’t it?? I mean, that is fantastic that you’re doing that!!” Speaking to a mother of 3 from Omaha, NE, 2005

“Concerning the Bob Jones policy of interracial dating, I spoke against that. I spoke out against interracial dating. I support their policy of interracial dating” On CBS News in 2000, concerning the ban on interracial dating at Bob Jones University, a fundamentalist Christian college.

“Sometimes when I sleep at night, I think of Dr. Seuss’ “Hop On Pop” Speaking about childhood education, 2002

“ I would like all Americans to volunteer for 4,000 years of community service” Bridgeport CT, 2002

“Laura and I don’t realize how bright our children is sometimes until we get an objective analysis” On “Meet the Press” 2000

“First, we would not accept a treaty that would not have been ratified, nor a treaty that I thought made sense for the country” Quoted in the “Washington Post” concerning the Kyoto Accords, an international treaty aimed at reducing greenhouse emissions. The US rejected the treaty.

“For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And folks, this is unacceptable in America. And we’re going to do something about that” Speaking about Project Safe Neighborhoods, 2001 (Right on!! All shootings should be fatal!!)

“There’s no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds were getting nearly directly overhead” Washington D.C., 2001

“It’s amazing I won the election. I was running against peace, prosperity and incumbency” During a meeting with the Swedish Prime Minister, 2001
"Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me."—May 27, 2004
"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."—May 25, 2004


Bush Quotes as Governor of Texas, (Why Couldn’t Anyone See He Was an Idiot Even Back Then??)

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
...Governor George W. Bush

"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
...Governor George W. Bush

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
...Governor George W. Bush, 8/11/94

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
...Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy -- but that could change."
...Governor George W. Bush, 5/22/98

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
...Governor George W. Bush, 12/6/93

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
...Governor George W. Bush, 11/30/96

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
...Governor George W. Bush

"The future will be better tomorrow."
...Governor George W. Bush

"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world." (We’re the ONLY American people in the world, you idiot!!)
...Governor George W. Bush 9/21/97

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
...Governor George W. Bush

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
...Governor George W. Bush to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
...Governor George W. Bush

"Public speaking is very easy."
...Governor George W. Bush to reporters

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."
...Governor George W. Bush

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
...Governor George W. Bush

"When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has been direct & simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."
...George W. Bush

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
...Governor George W. Bush 5/20/96

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
...Governor George W. Bush 9/22/97

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
...Governor George W. Bush, 9/5/93

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
...Governor George W. Bush, 9/18/95

"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that George Bush may or may not make."
...Governor George W. Bush

"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."
...Governor George W. Bush

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." (Duh, same thing??)
...Governor George W. Bush

" time for the human race to enter the solar system." (So Earth isn’t in the solar system??)
...Governor George W. Bush

[awoke_in_2003]

20. Great list...

wonder how some of them didn't rate. Don't mean to nitpick, but we are not the only American people. The people of North America include Canadians and Mexicans. Then there are the Central and South Americans.

[locopolitico]

15. Another classic one

"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."

[LordJFT]

16. "This is an impressive crowd, the haves and the have-mores. Some call yout the elite; I call you my

base."

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

17. Not on the list - this incredible Bushism has become my recent favorite

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkTN-kdl374

He tells Charlie Rose in an interview: "give my chance a plan".

At least Bush is honest in stating that he has no plan and is therefore completly clueless. Too much. (and I think "peeance freeance" could make the list)

[aaronbees]

21. His nonsequiturs....

and malappropisms are nearly always TRUTHFUL. That one is a classic!

[ProudDad]

18. Well, he's doing what he was hired to do

blow out a huge smokescreen while his handlers rob us blind...

An example of his handlers:

[awoke_in_2003]

19. God

just isolating the top 50 most be much harder to do than the top 10 conservative idiots :)