Ready To Get Your Heebies Jeebied?

[BlogBox]

The ghost of Vietnam is back; the economy's sinking fast; the religious right is ranting; Ann Coulter's got new boobs (or she's finally figured out Victoria's secret); it's time to celebrate John McCain's birthday again, like we did two years ago; and, nobody suffers like Laura Bush (warning: graphic images). A true week of Republicaweirdness. Fortunately, DUers Hamlette, jgraz, and Husb2Sparkley tell it like it is. Enjoy!

Happy Birthday, John McCain!

Who could ever forget John McCain's birthday? After all, he celebrated with President Gee Dubya and a big-assed cake while Hurricane Katrina drowned New Orleans two years ago. Your Right Hand Thief notes the historic milestone:

We must never forget...
... that today is Senator John McCain's birthday!


Good luck with your birthday campaign fundraiser, Johnny Mac! I hear that 71 is the new 40.

(It's amazing to think that today some conservative will write a check to the McCain campaign, and then later mumble something about how New Orleans is "doomed" and such a waste of tax dollars.)

Which GOP Bag-O-Bones Boob Got New Boobs?

You guessed it. Like stepping in something the cat coughed up, City Rag has the nitty gritty on that clothes hanger who wears the little black cocktail dress 24/7, as well as the photographic evidence:

Ann Coulter's Boob Job

It looks like the Republican's favorite dominatrix has had a boob job or two. She's so gross... Bolt ons for Ann Coulter?

By the way, Awful Plastic Surgery wants to know: "Why didn't she spend a few bucks on her face too?"

Ouch. Unkind. Why, that's like... something Ann Coulter would say. Jossip gets the last word, though: "Anne Coulter's (alleged) breast augmentation surgery totally trumps John Edwards' $400 haircuts." Now onto someone for whom boobs just don't do it...

You Don't Get Your Own Private Idaho, Bub!

Sheesh! According to news reports (as noted by Atrios), it's just another "he said/he said" incident. Between two men: one of them a married flag-waving, family-values-swearing, card-carrying right-wing U.S. senator... on the down low. Actually, it's the damned hypocrisy. How about a blast from the past? (Hat tip to DUer Hamlette.)

Hypocrisy. Buy a freakin' dictionary, Republicans! Speaking of hypocrisy, at least, one of our top ten BushCo criminals has resigned:

Gonzo With the Wind

We won't have Alberto Gonzales to kick around anymore. That's right, Gonzo. Run away, you coward. What's a little perjury when the president stands behind you? (OK, stop laughing and chanting "Heckuva Job, Gonzo!") But before you go, here are your six top lies (so many to choose from, so little time), as archived at TPM Muckraker:

1) "The disagreement that occurred, and the reason for the visit to the hospital, Senator, was about other intelligence activities. It was not about the terrorist surveillance program that the president announced to the American people."
-- 7/24/07 testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee

2) "The consensus in the room from the congressional leadership was that we should continue the activities, at least for now, despite the objections of Mr. Comey. There was also consensus that it would be very, very difficult to obtain legislation without compromising this program, but that we should look for a way ahead. It is for this reason that within a matter of hours Andy Card and I went to the hospital."
"I just wanted to put in context for this committee and the American people why Mr. Card and I went. It's because we had an emergency meeting in the White House Situation Room, where the congressional leadership had told us, "Continue going forward with this very important intelligence activity."
-- 7/24/07 testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee

3) "I was not involved in seeing any memos, was not involved in any discussions about what was going on."
-- A March 13th press conference on the U.S. attorney firings.

4) "I haven't done -- I haven't talked to witnesses because of the fact that I haven't wanted to interfere with this investigation and department investigations.""
-- 4/19/07 testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee

"….as I've indicated, I have not gone back and spoken directly with Mr. Sampson and others who are involved in this process, in order to protect the integrity of this investigation and the investigation of the Office of Professional Responsibility and the Office of Inspector General."
-- 5/11/07 testimony before the House Judiciary Committee

5) "The track record established over the past three years has demonstrated the effectiveness of the safeguards of civil liberties put in place when the act was passed. There has not been one verified case of civil liberties abuse."
-- 4/27/05 testimony before the House intelligence committee

6) "…(L)et me publicly sort of preempt, perhaps, a question you're going to ask me, and that is, I am fully committed, as the administration's fully committed, to ensure that, with respect to every United States attorney position in this country, we will have a presidentially appointed, Senate-confirmed United States attorney."
-- 1/18/07 testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee

Those were just the lies, mind you. Read the rest of the post to see the actual facts. Meanwhile, if Montgomery Burns rubbing his hands together gives you the creeps, what about...?

The Man Who Would Be... Er, Take Over Iraq

What do you do when you want to take over a war-torn country? First, hire the top GOP lobbying firm. We learn from IragSlogger that Dr. Ayad Allawi has done just that and he's agreed to pay them several hundred thousand U.S. dollars. Check out the contract at the link. Of course, that price includes...

As previously reported exclusively by IraqSlogger, the Republican lobbying firm Barbour, Griffith, & Rogers, LLC, began its work for Allawi August 17 by registering the domain name Allawi-for-Iraq.com. In recent days, BGR sent hundreds of e-mail messages in Allawi's name from the e-mail address [e-mail].

Hmm. The names Blackwell, Barbour and Bush - all key players in this Allawi lobbying deal - should give one pause in light of the upcoming (cough) progress (cough) report on Iraq. Wait. There's more...

The next thing you do: officially withdraw from the government you plan to overthrow. After you've secured your GOP lobbying contract, it might be a good idea to distance yourself from the power post you're planning to usurp, right? Once again, IraqSlogger has the update and the "official" story.

Allawi's Bloc Withdraws From Government

Cairo, EGYPT: Iyad Allawi, member of Iraqi parliament and head of the Iraqi National list, speaks during a press conference after his meeting with Arab League Secretary General Amr Mussa in Cairo 18 March 2007.
Khaled Desouki/AFP/Getty

Baghdad, Aug 24, (VOI) - Former Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi's Iraqi National List (INL) withdrew "finally" from Nouri al-Maliki's government, a leading INL member announced on Friday.

Stay tuned. This is far from over.

A Lovely Pair Of Coconuts: A Bloomberg-Hagel Ticket?

For those of us who like to keep an eye on David Broder's blandishment, disguised as serious journalism... but don't want to give him the click satisfaction, bloggers like Steve Benen at TPM often ride to the rescue. This week, Broder offers the idiotic idea of a Bloomberg-Hagel presidential ticket. Let the heeby jeebying begin:

Broder seems to believe that a Bloomberg-Hagel ticket would meet some pressing national demand. Do they agree with one another on policy matters? Well, no. Do they have a shared vision on how government is supposed to work? Actually, they're polar opposites. Does Broder see a scenario by which these two can win a national election? Not so much.

But, Broder says, they have "leadership" qualities. I wish I knew what Broder means by this; unfortunately, his column doesn't tell me. It apparently has something to do with "national purpose," though this, too, is just another vague platitude.

The column reads like a daydream of a writer who believes a liberal independent and a very conservative Republican will join forces, solve all of our problems, and "get something done." Get what done? It doesn't matter; it'll be something.

And it's always "something," isn't it, Broder? Fortunately for us, DUers get things done on a daily basis.

Thank A DUer!

Many thanks to jgraz for noting First lady Laura Bush's cancelled trip to Australia and how much pain she must be in, due to a pinched nerve:

Wow...pinched nerves are really painful


I really feel for her.


She's gotta be in some serious pain


Best wishes to the first lady for a speedy recovery.

Poor Laura. It's just too painful for her to travel on Air Force One with a team of private physicians and physical therapists. Life's tough, isn't it?

And thanks to Husb2Sparkley for one of the all-time great original post headlines: "Gonzo - gone-zo ...... this morning."

Finally, adding GOPer insult to GOPer injury, thanks to marmar for checking out the freshest freeper comments on Gonzales' Going, going, gone-ness. Here are my favorites:

Freepers manage racism, sexism and homophobia in a thread about Gonzales resignation

That's okay lady, I do the same thing. The older I get the worse I spell.
P.S. I heard Gonzalez is going back to Texas to manage a Taco Bell.

They are saying "Chertoff likely replacement"! Are they stoned? Don't they realize it will be Harriet Miers Part II? Chertoff should have been canned along with Big Gay Alberto - not PROMOTED! IF Bush recess appoints Chertoff, the House and Senate GOP should deny him anything else until he's out of office.

Here's my question, would Bush have given him the job if he wasn't Hispanic?

Ouch. And that's how the BushBots bounce. Meanwhile, back on Planet Earth, The Rude Pundit was busy...

Live Champagne Blogging the Alberto Gonzales Resignation Announcement and Coverage:

10:31: Why did Gonzales do it now? What confluence of evidence, expediency, and soul-sickness led him to either be released from his blood oath or to tell Bush to "fuck off" at last? Was it the loss of the musk of Karl Rove around the Oval Office? Such manly moments are to be missed in these dank end days of the swampy DC summer.

10:32: He's got a quite the prissy little demi-man gait to his walk up to the podium. That is not a happy man, not the usual skipping cocky stride of the dude who's gotten his jollies sending people to death and torture.

10:34: Gonzales says life in a suit is better than picking fruit in a field, he gives Bush a gentle kiss on the balls, and, whoa, he's outta there. That is someone who just did something he was ordered to do, but in the most "kiss my ass, motherfuckers" way possible.

Let's see what's up at Fox "news": This Jim Angle fucker thinks that Republicans are upset that Gonzales didn't "defend" himself more in hearings. He says that there's no "proof" that Gonzales lied to the Senate Judiciary Committee, disparaging Democrats, giving a thumb to the walnut-like prostate of Orrin Hatch for the Utah Senator's wisdom in defending Gonzales.

Boo-yah- it's 10:37 and Fox is off to Michael Vick.

Late breaking news, Rude: Michael Vick announced that he's found Jesus. Did you know he was lost? Me either. Wait! There's more! The Rude Pundit adds:

One Fun Thing About Alberto Gonzales's Resignation:

It's nowhere near ironic that the White House and the Justice Department spent the weekend outright lying about his Friday phone call to the President saying, "Adios."

More after Gonzales's press conference, which oughta be fun in that "badger gnaws its trapped foot off" kind of way.

Republicans got a big-assed wake-up call on their "We're better than the rest of you sad, human weaklings" shtick, didn't they? Was I the only one whose initial reaction to each Republican domino falling was "How will they spin this and blame it on Bill Clinton?" Of course, not. Did I marvel at the corporate-owned media's blood-in-the-water feeding frenzy? Frankly, yes. And my heebies have been definitely jeebied.

Are your heebies sufficiently jeebied yet? What BushCo nightmares may come are yet unknown, but this we know for sure: "misunderestimating" the power of BushCo to wield the fear/Dem Slime sword is unwise, to say the least. These guys are desperate, and desperation inspires truly desperate acts. And eating their own (at least, the weakest among them) may be fun to watch, but... if they'll devour their own, imagine what they'd like to do to us. Keep fighting the tightie righties, and keep sending those great blog links. We've still got a long way to go.

-- Delilah Boyd

[NMDemDist2]

1. good one as usual but do you really think the Colterguist

got tits? maybe just a lift since she is about 112 and that little black dress has to hang off *something* other than her scrawny neck

:hide:

[krispos42]

2. In the right photo,her arms are back

making her chest stick out more. Ta-da!

[PetrusMonsFormicarum]

4. When a GUY gets a boob job

He needs a Bro®, the bra for men.

[a kennedy]

5. No, sorry, it's called a "MANZIER"

:rofl: a favorite Seinfeld episode of mine. :)

[QueenOfCalifornia]

6. That's Not A....

...Adam's Apple...

That's a Madam's Apple Baby!

[krispos42]

7. ROFL!!!

[DesertRat]

19. I just think it's a new bra

:shrug:

[PurpleChez]

3. Vick found Jesus?

I know he's not a CONSERVATIVE idiot, and he only got passing mention in this Blog Box, but he reminded me of a rethug when he came out the other day yapping about how immature he was and how he needed to grow up. Only because he was caught. If he wouldn't have been caught he'd still be electrocuting dogs today. And, I'm sorry, but the NAACP has absolutely lost ALL of the respect that I once had for them by trying to defind him. It's sickening to think that he's gonna be the O.J. of the new millennium, an abominable criminal who is presented to the world as some sort of opressed gazillionaire victimized by Whitey.

[alfredo]

8. Vick found Jesus. Jesus is his cell mate. He's from Puerto Rico.

He likes to play checkers and has taught Vick how to curse in Spanish.

[PurpleChez]

9. For the last 2-1/2 years I've worked full- or part-time

at a hardware store. The image below is an actual scan of a sticker that was on an 11# propane tank.



I know it looks like I made it with one of the fine Adobe family of software packages, but I swear it's real. I'd seen one before, on a customer's large (60#? 100#?) tank as I was filling it, and I wasn't in a position to swipe it. But this time I was able to peel it off and save it. Even my boss, a proper church-going Southern lady, had to laugh. I swear that the last time Jesus only worked in Department 11 or so...I'm glad to see that He has been promoted since then.

[alfredo]

11. Glad somebody is upwardly mobile.

[PurpleChez]

10. I wonder how you say "let's hang that dog" en Español....

What a vile, sick motherfucker. I hope he's ruined. But all the idiot sports fans care about is winning games. Vick could desecrate corpses and there would still be a huge bunch of guys out there who wouldn't care, so long as the Falcons made it to the playoffs.

[alfredo]

12. His actions speak poorly of his parents

and he should be aware of that. You don't bring disrespect on your family. The surname Vick now has a stain on it. He can undo some of the damage he has done, but what he did will still be there in the back of people's minds.

He's got a lot of work to do.

[PurpleChez]

13. As a loony lefty I hate to catch myself thinking anything that even smacks of "race", but...

I'm sorry, but this is one more reason that I'm less than impressed by hip-hop "culture":

*long before the bust at his house the other day, NPR was reporting on how rappers like DMX were glorifying dog abuse in their music and videos, and how hip-hop oriented athletes were following suit

*CNN.com has carried stories about how dog abuse has become a "fad" in London, where "gang elements" gather in parks to abuse animals and even promote the events...on the Bebo site.

*at the school where I taught last year the internet access policy had to be tightened largely because the kids -- KIDS!!! -- were always visiting dogfighting sites.

*I walk through the computer clusters at the public library and see grown ups cruising dog sites as if they were browsing weather reports

*just too damn many stories about rotties and pit bulls being bought, not as pets, but as thug fashion accessories, and then mistreated. As a dog lover, just the imagery on the ankle-length t-shirts of vicious, snarling dogs-cum-status symbols rather than as beautiful animals just sickens me.

*working at the aforementioned hardware store, it got to the point that when young Black men come in to buy chain and related hardware that I assume it's to chain a large, vicious dog...and it is often confirmed in conversation, as the customer will show you the size of chain that the animal has already broken, and want to know if 3/8-inch proof coil will be enough.

I am most emphatically NOT suggesting that all hip-hop fans are animal abusers. Not by a longshot. Purple don't play that. And are there animal abusers in other groups? Yep -- too damn many. Still, this is just one more reason why I can't embrace hip-hop as the new Renaissance. I know that this is flame-bait, and that any time when you criticize rap you're likely to get all sorts of responses saying "X-type of music is just as bad", but I doubt that there is another mainstream musical/style genre out there that is so enamoured of animal abuse.

[alfredo]

14. Vick and the others need to step forward and condemn these acts.

Animal abuse and child abuse are closely associated.

I used to work in an area called "Crack Alley." The thugs had their Rotts and Bulls. Not just as status symbols but for protection. I do have to admit that one of the sweetest dogs on my route was a Pit Bull. He was my protector when I delivered mail in that part of my route. He wouldn't let any dog get between him and I. It would not be unusual to see me walking with the bull (Rage) a Rott and another pit bull. My supervisor thought it quite funny.

[PurpleChez]

15. Some of the sweetest dogs I've known have been Rotties

It still makes me smile to think of some 100-pound dog snuggling into my lap as if she were a puppy. No doubt "protection" is at the root of some of the Thuggz 'n' Doggz situation, but the notion (impression) that it's been embraced as some aspect of "culture" sickens me.

[alfredo]

16. Image is everything

When I lived in Detroit, putting on a front was just something you did. You always walked with one hand in your pocket to make people think you have your hand on your piece (gun or knife). In some neighborhoods you walked down the middle of the street because the yards were overgrown and wild packs of dogs roamed, or some junkie was hiding in the weeds.

[PurpleChez]

17. I know. It's just

the idea that society -- moms and dads on all sides -- have to such an extent accepted the notion that this is somehow something that their children should aspire to. My "grown-up" job is teaching, and it truely (truly?) saddens me to see 6th graders -- SIXTH GRADERS -- coming to school in t-shirts covered with rhinestone-encrusted pictures of $100 bills and proclaiming them to be a "Millennium Hustla" or whatever. Sixth graders. These kids don't have jobs...mom is buying this crap for them.

[alfredo]

18. Materialism has won out over spiritualism.

A sixth grader doesn't understand. All he knows is that he wants to fit in, he wants to be part of the crowd. It's hard for a parent to say no to such a powerful drive. The parent remember that they had to struggle to fit in too.

[PurpleChez]

20. I'm sorry, but I have to call 'Shenanigans' on ya there...

...it's only hard for a BAD PARENT to say no. And I speak as a parent. I'm no sociologist, but I think that the epidemic of parents being either afraid or unable to say "no" to their children -- especially regarding household purchases -- is a modern phenomenon. (After all, when I was a kid, we had to live in a lake!) I have absolutely no sympathy for a parent who simply acquiesces to the fact that his or her 11-year-old child's greatest heros are pimps and drug dealers. Yes, we all had to struggle to fit in, but we also had to make do when we couldn't, and we survived. That some have elevated materialism and consumerism to a near-religion doesn't mean that I have to regard it as such, and it doesn't make the results any less pathetic. I know that your comment meant well, and I'm sorry for jumping on you...it's just that the whole "parents who can't say no" thing is a big deal with me.

[alfredo]

21. I wasn't saying it is OK for them to give in. I was just saying it is

difficult in the best of times. The constant bombardment by our media and their corporate partners constantly undermine parents. The propaganda put out by them is unrelenting. Parents who are working two jobs to keep a roof over their head have a difficult time competing.

If a kid is acting out like the one in question, he was lost a long time ago. He's going to have to seek the correct path, his parents have fallen down on their duty.

I got my first job at 10 years old, and stayed employed until I got a career ending injury at 55. If I wanted something, I bought it. I was a troublemaker, a punk. I was considered a juvenile delinquent and was nearly incarcerated as incorrigible. I was violent and out of control. I would fight at the drop of a hat. When I reached 18 I said that I wasn't a kid anymore and I better start acting like an adult. Except for a few incidents where I had no choice but to defend myself, I never fought again.

I turned out alright.


I guess.

[bleever]

22. All this, and Tom DeLay too!

Seeing the disgraced bug man with a fresh change of 10W 30 in his hair, using the Larry Craig story to prove that Republicans are truly the more moral party, was one of the great highlights of this whole episode.

Another great BlogBox!