Wide Stance (Sung to the tune of Slow Hand)

[Purrfessor]

Shortly after Larry Craig was arrested I revised this Pointer Sisters song with Craig in mind.

Here it is:

Wide Stance (Sung to the tune of Slow Hand)

As the urinals,
emptied out
And we were nearly alone
I saw the look in your eyes,
and you couldn’t disguise
Your connection to the GOP
Darlin’ don’t say a word,
who knows what can be heard
Now that they’re wiretappin’ big time
I’m tired of slow grooves
I’ve got a fast move
On my mind

I want a man with a wide stance
I want a lover who can tap his feet
I want somebody with no time to spare
Who’ll come and go in a heated rush
A senator who’s hot for prompt romance
When it comes to love,
I want a wide stance

Ooh…Ooh…Ooh

On the tile floor,
with no one around
And the restroom all to ourselves
We are drifting free, hypocritically
Beneath the crazy minds of the right
Darlin’ don’t say a word,
‘cause I already heard
What your body’s sayin’ to mine
How you are a family man
One whose travel plans
Ooh, Leave us no time


‘Cause I got a man with a wide stance
I got a lover who can tap his feet
I’ve got somebody with no time to spare
Who’ll come and go in a heated rush
Deep in the closet he can understand
When it comes to love,
I want a wide stance

Ooh,

Since I don’t have all night
I’m talkin’ sound bites
It’s not a slow groove
But a fast move
On my mind

‘Cause I got a man with a wide stance
I got a lover who can tap his feet
I found somebody with no time to spare
Who’ll come and go in a heated rush
I found somebody who can dance the dance
I found a lover with a wide stance

Ooh, lover with a wide stance
And I get all excited when he gives that speech
About how gays will ruin humanity
Destroy all that’s good for you and me … (fade out)

(With apologies to the Pointer Sisters)