And the Non-Winner of the Nobel Peace Prize Is ...

NanceGreggs

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Mon Oct-15-07 09:52 PM
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And the Non-Winner of the Nobel Peace Prize Is ...

Hey, George:

I understand that you, along with some of your party members and your dwindling supporters, are truly disappointed that your own efforts in the area of promoting peace throughout the world have again gone unrecognized by the Nobel Peace Prize Committee.

I thought I would take the time to explain to you, as best I can, why you have been passed over yet again.

You see, George, your chances of ever winning a Nobel Peace Prize are slim to none – and here’s why:

They don’t award Nobels to cheats, men who only attain their position through the use of hackable electronic voting machines, expunging eligible voters from the rolls, and engaging in caging to prevent minorities from exercising their rights as citizens.

They don’t award Nobels to liars, men in positions of trust who fabricate, cherry-pick or skew intelligence in order to launch an unnecessary war based on the greed of the few who stand to benefit financially from such a conflict.

They don’t award Nobels to warmongers, who invade sovereign nations on the premise of liberating people who, after all is said and done, wind up living in worse conditions than they did under a regime that is replaced with more violence, destruction and death than existed previous to their so-called liberation.

They don’t award Nobels to torturers, even if they obfuscate their conduct with creative language like enhanced interrogation techniques. The Committee especially frowns on the torture of innocents, like women and children, who are made to suffer pain and humiliation, or even death.

They don’t award Nobels to traitors, men who use their position as Commander-in-Chief of their country’s armed forces to send troops into combat without regard for their safety or well-being, men who skimp on life-saving equipment for those in battle while funneling massive amounts of money into the coffers of war-profiteers with political or family ties.

They don’t award Nobels to cowards, men who send others to war knowing that when it was their time to serve, they used their family’s influence to avoid combat – and then couldn’t be bothered to complete even the minimal service expected of them.

They don’t award Nobels to the inhumane, men who have the power to save a city’s residents in the aftermath of a natural disaster, but choose to ignore their plight and leave them to die.

They don’t award Nobels to hypocrites, men who pretend to hold themselves to Christian ideals while increasing the suffering caused by poverty, and creating conditions that leave the sick, the homeless and the dying to fend for themselves.

They don’t award Nobels to incompetents, men who keep themselves willfully ignorant of the realities of the world when those realities do not mesh with their own narrow views, or lead to the fulfillment of their own greed, their own ego, their own childish wants.

They don’t award Nobels to fools, men who act the buffoon when representing their country in international discussions of matters that require serious consideration, a sense of diplomacy, and a spirit of cooperation in the global community.

They don’t award Nobels to comedians, men who think that searching for WMDs under their desk is laughable, even as men and women are dying as a result of that untruth, or men who engage in the belittlement of others in order to obscure their own lack of intelligence and common sense.

They don’t award Nobels to egomaniacs, men who only see the world in terms of their own selfish need for power, fame, glory and adulation – especially when that self-gratification outweighs the welfare of the very citizens they have sworn to serve.

They don’t award Nobels to perjurers, men who swear a solemn oath before God to uphold and defend the Constitution of their country, and then proceed to do exactly the opposite at every opportunity.

They don’t award Nobels to poseurs, men who prance around in front of Mission Accomplished banners, men who substitute photo-ops for real leadership, or wear American flag lapel pins in place of having any sense of true patriotism.

In addition to all of the above, George, they don’t award Nobels to the lazy, the globally despised, the pretender to a throne that only exists in your own deluded mind; those not worthy of respect because they have never earned it, those not worthy of praise because they have never accomplished anything of value, those not worthy of anything more than derision and contempt.

So don’t take it too hard that you didn’t win a Nobel, George. As you can plainly see, you were never in the running.