My 7 reasons for turning away from Obama! :)

[Political Heretic]

1) It has come to my attention from several very reliable (but anonymous) sources that Obama has close connections with Chthulu. How can we possibly think he will stand any chance as our candidate once the republican hate machine gets hold of this stunning revelation??

2) Obama impregnated my cat. Seriously. I don't care how you want to live your life, but keep it behind closed doors for god's sake - and preferably not MY closed doors.

3) Obama is on the record expressing his distaste for Air Supply. Now, I don't know about you, but how anyone can seriously continue to support a candidate who demonstrates such inexcusable lack of taste is just beyond me. Let's just come out and face the facts shall we? This rejection of artistry isn't merely a slap in the face to music lovers everywhere - it is flat out a total rejection of America itself.

4) Obama once looked at me funny while I was watching him on C-Span. Yes, me! He was giving his speech and he looked up and locked eyes with me - sitting right in my living room masturbating in my own feces to pictures of captain kangaroo while fashioning anti-alien mind control ray helmets out of extra terrestrial repellent material (i.e. tin foil) - and furrowed his brow. Furrowed, I tell you! This blatant disdain for ordinary Americans is unacceptable.

5) We all know that Obama's middle name - Hussein - is obviously in reference to my neighbor, Bill Hussein, who is categorically a dick.

6) When you rearrange the letters from his name, you get "ma Abo" - ma being slang for "my" and Abo clearly referencing the Simpson's character Abu and thus implying ownership, most likely because Obama is a racist bastard who believes that all foreigners should be slaves.

7) Last night, the pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent, superbeing and Creator and Sustainer of the Multi-verse named Joe (that is a rough translation of Xychorlopholiparazickflumbloo) came to me in a dream and told me that Hope is stupid.

I trust that you will, after being exposed to this critical truths, realize the error of your ways and immediately turn away from this candidate!

[XemaSab]

1. Hope is stupid?

But Hope gave us both Bill Clinton and Mike Huckabee.

Oh, wait... :hide:

[LadyVT]

2. hahahaha funny...I'm flattered you used the same name of my post!

and my cat gave a little snort at #2!

[Political Heretic]

3. Humor is much needed

:)

[Political Heretic]

4. It has come to my attention that there are accusations that I do not, in fact have a cat.

I respond to these outlandish accusations, and point out that it depends on what your definition of "have" is... or what your definition of "cat" is for that matter. These sad attempts to smear me are clearly the work of a vast multi-wing conspiracy to flap fast enough to get off the ground which is cracked and caked from the drought we were having, at least until this winter when there was a lot of snow, only because of the government's testing of its weather control device over rural areas like this one.

[TheDoorbellRang]

5. In addition, he has admitted to using words

Sometimes a whole line of them! In a sentence! With nouns, verbs, and...AND...MODIFIERS!

Oh, the humanity!


:rofl:



:thumbsup: