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As a fellow Hillary supporter, I have to applaud our tireless night shifts and hundreds of dollars spent in ensuring last night that the great, second-class state of Wisconsin didn't count by a whole 17 points. Awesome job! Here are just a few hints, tips, and talking points we can use to insure our momentum continues in the direction that it's going.
- Accuse Obama of stealing Bill Clinton's idea about being the first black president.
- Accuse Obama of just wearing too much yellow.
- Point of that Obama is only ahead in the delegate (I call them smellegates) count because of places that aren't really states, and therefore don't count. Places like Guam, the Virgin Islands, Washington D.C. and Hawaii.
- Obama's empty suit is an off-the-rack Men's Warehouse affair, which conclusively demonstrates is contempt for women in the warehousing industry.
- The cult meme is working brilliantly. We need another smear that all of our independently minded, free-thinking Hillary supporters can simultaneously come up with and start using en masse. Just by coincidence, of course.
- More little boys dressed up in cowboy outfits. Also- men in gorilla costumes, women in bikinis, those wacky arm-waving balloons, banners that read "Fire Sale," and the campaign slogan "We Won't Be Under-Sold!"
- Obama is undemocratically trying to disenfrancise millions of potential Clinton voters by refusing to seat Canadian delegates.
- Obama failed to congratulate Hillary last night for her wins in Wisconsin and Hawaii. A thorough examination of the transcripts verifies Obama's omission.
- We've now tricked Obama into boring his audience by talking about specifics. Now he's no match for our rhetoric, which doesn't inspire anybody. And our world famous specifics, which everybody knows about in intimate detail.
- Speaking of which, Obama supporters don't know anything. We should challenge them to one-on-one battle of the wits. It's a fool-proof plan that couldn't possibly fackbire.
- For God's sake, keep avoiding any talk about the war, that shit's killing us faster than cluster bombs.
- Obama is up to his eyeballs in scandals. One involves a former acquaintance who may have been involved in shady real-estate deals, the other involves a blow job. These are just the sort of scandals the American public has been eagerly waiting for. There's no way a politician can survive these sorts of scandals.
- When Hillary uses a throw-away one liner from somebody else, that's called "borrowing." When Obama does it, that's "plagiarism." We should continue along in the same vein. For example, if Hillary snacks on a piece of bread in the CNN green room before the debate, we'll call that "finding" a piece of bread. When Obama does it, that's "looting" a piece of bread. Words mean everything.
OK, that's it. If we keep this up it'll all be over and done with in a couple of weeks.
Here's hoping!
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