Obama's Lot - a new musical

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www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/chi-kass_30jan30,1,7394245.column
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In the spirit of the great Second City, I give you a new musical "Obama's Lot" by Chicago Tribune Reporter, John Kass



For better or worse, Rezko stars in Obama production

John Kass

January 30, 2008

Can Tony Rezko -- the indicted Illinois political fixer and Sen. Barack Obama's personal real estate fairy and fundraiser -- carry a tune?

Can Rezko really sing, loudly in a clear voice, in that orange federal jumpsuit he's forced to wear, after a federal judge on Tuesday revoked his bond, figuring he'd run to Syria and skip out on his federal political corruption trial?

If Rezko can sing, there's a starring role in a new musical I'm writing about politics and real estate called "Obama's Lot."

He'll make a fortune if Obama becomes president. It's sort of like "Camelot," with magic and demons and unicorns and an evil enchantress.

Can't you see Rezko now? He waltzes across a national stage, surrounded by a chorus of Illinois politicians.

They explain how Rezko helped the Obamas in the purchase of their nice home and that sumptuous lot next door.

"Obama's Lot./ Obama's Lot.

We know dat sounds a bit

bizarre/

But it's Obama's Lot! Obama's Lot!/

Dat's how conditions are.

"Mayor Daley made da law a distant moon ago here/

Barack can never, ever, ever be too hot/

And dere's a legal limit tooda snow here/

On Obama's Lot!"

I suppose I could have called it "Barack-a-lot" or "Obamalot," but the Kennedys have put their paws all over the Camelot thing, and one issue between Obama and Rezko is that dream house he helped the Obamas purchase.

It does borrow somewhat from the Arthurian tale so dear to some political writers, liberals high on the moist Kennedy/Camelot myth, yet clear-headed enough to keep cutting Chicago's Sam Giancana out of their propaganda.

But in a unique use of symbolism, "Obama's Lot" involves a magical sword of power. The brave young Obama pulls it from the cornerstone of Chicago's City Hall and wields it proudly before his superiors in the Illinois State Senate.

And, after a limited Washington engagement, he becomes president of the United States.

A Hillary Clinton type plays the sensual Morgan La Fay, who uses her husky voice as she's constantly trying to wrest power from the brave Obama.

I'm not going to give it all away, but in my musical, Rezko walks behind Obama, part willowy magician, part jealous jester.

He's constantly judging, winking broadly at the audience during Obama's few bouts with temptation.

"Obama's Lot" needs music, lyrics, stars and investors. And I thought Rezko was in desperate need of cash. That's what he told U.S. District Court Judge Amy

St. Eve, who thought he didn't have any money, until federal authorities found him with more than

$3 million.

So I'm thinking of a scene. Rezko's in his bunk, staring at the ceiling, when he starts dreaming of happier times, and gets up, pacing his cell under a spotlight:

"The rain may never fall till after sundown/

That lot we bought together means so much/

The fence I put there will happily remind him/

That I love Barack a lot, or maybe it's just a bunch."

Naturally, he'll have to stare wistfully out at the audience and make small, plaintive gestures with his hands, sort of like he did in real life Wednesday in St. Eve's courtroom.

There, Rezko wore his jumpsuit. He smiled at his friends and family and made friendly little gestures, as if he were shooting, pulling a trigger, winking, his index finger and thumb hand-capping them with love.

But then St. Eve announced that though she thought Rezko was broke, she was surprised he'd gotten his hands on more than

$3 million.

And she thought he should stay locked up rather than have the chance to flee to Iraq or Syria or wherever federal prosecutors thought he'd run.

"When you look at the factors, his incentive to flee has never been greater," said Assistant U.S. Atty. Reid Schar.

And St. Eve agreed.

"I find the government has met its burden," she said. "I'm going to order that he remain detained."

Rezko's shoulders slumped and they led him away.

He'll stay inside now for weeks, preparing for his scheduled Feb. 25 trial. The federal lockup is not a nice place.

Rezko once spent time raising campaign cash for his political buddies, hanging with Obama and Gov. Rod Blagojevich. Now he'll hang with guys with blue tattoos on their faces.

So Rezko might even have time to study the words to another song in "Obama's Lot." You probably know the tune.

"If ever I would squeal on you/It shouldn't be in autumn.

But it might just be in autumn/ as voters go to the polls.

I'm no rat in the springtime/ summer, winter or fall

But I don't like being in here/

No, not at all."