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YES!
**Cue patriotic music**
- America to me is a place that, if you started on the left, would be rainy, then very hilly, then pretty flat, then humid, then hilly again, and finally ending at another ocean.
- America has a deep history of innovation and invention, then people come along (we'll call them "Gristians" to protect their identity) and try to stifle or stop the innovation, then one of their loved ones needs the innovation to live, and suddenly the Gristians tolerate it...but only so much. You can turn the other cheek, but you can't let God see you being happy over it.
- America is always right because admitting defeat, taking blame, being accountable, and personal responsibility ISN'T THE AMERICAN WAY! From a very young age lying is ingrained in to the Patriot-ling's brain through the daily hypocritical actions of their parents and authority figures. Be it dieting one day, then binging the next, or sitting on the couch night after night watching television and seething that your child never made anything of themselves, children are taught to lie to themselves first. Then it is soooooo much easier to lie to others. Especially other countries that don't put on a suit and tie to hide that they're rotting from the inside. That's wrong. Any respectable country that can't slap a little make-up on in the morning isn't as good as America because America looks so much better than they do. Thus America is right no matter what they do and the other country is wrong, wrong, wrong.
- The great thing about America is your ability to go out on the street and say your peace...though shopping. My friends let their tee shirts do the talking. Like Thomas and his shirt with the American flag on it and the slogan, "Burn this asshole", or my friend Gwen who has a Nader '00 shirt that she still insists on wearing even though there's a hole on her left boob and you can totally see her bra. I have shirts that say, "Impeachment!" and then a picture of peach being turned into juice, or my shirt that says, "I'd give up my first born for cheap gas prices." These are things my friends and I believe in...sorta...until tee shirts with slogans go out of style and then I guess we won't have a ton to say after that.
- I personally represent peace. The problem is that I like really violent movies. Not horror movies, but movies where there is maybe a guy who's gotten shot and beaten, but still runs like he just got out of bed and a really hot girl who accidentally got wet somehow. They shoot endless rounds of bullets at secret agents of, uh, the US Department of Evil or from some country where everyone has different sounding accents...even from each other. Yeah, movies like that. But I also represent peace. I don't own a gun and I go to protests. Protests allow me to voice what I represent. And meet girls.
- Freedom to me doesn't exist. Even if every human being were wiped off of the planet except for me I still wouldn't be free. You're only free when you die. Prior to that you have survival obligations, dreams, body issues, self esteem issues, and god forbid you add other people back into the equation, then there's a whole "having to wear underwear" thing...freedom, pfft, no such thing.
- I condemn people who actively seek power. They are a bunch of really sick people. If you come up with a great idea and all of a sudden you're a billionaire then fine, great. But if you are one of those people that bites and scratches your way over the backs of society, throwing everyone below you under the bus just so you can lord over them and show how great you think you are then you should truly be institutionalized. Mental patient #1 - Dick Cheney. #2 - Don Rumsfeld. #3 - Condi. #4 - Paul Wolfowitz. #5 - Anne Coulter. And the list goes on.
- The part of history that I own up to is the information age. I am ensconced in it. Has it done humanity any good? Not one bit. I wish we still had to ride horses to deliver mail. Horses don't pollute the environment and you can't kill anyone riding a horse drunk unless the horse is drunk too. I reply to dumb things on message boards and I can't help myself. I think the only answer to break myself away from that which disgusts me is for me to finally just stop and lift my hands off of the keyboa
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