THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

[olkaz]

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them breaks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

[HysteryDiagnosis]

1. In fact, there are many but we have only seen what we can

see thus far, time will reveal all.

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

2. So if we push Clinton and Obama's heads together...

[olkaz]

3. Now we're getting somewhere.

Come on, we're almost there. Free your mind and find the solution!

[Kittycat]

5. Stick them in a room, and let the winner emerge?

Having consumed the greatest parts of the loser - thereby being the unstoppable force?

I'm just grasping here... in reality, I'm thinking about that Marketing rep getting your envelope thinking... WTF is this guy smoking? I want some :rofl:

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

6. ...then the one's head that doesn't smash...

...is a witch!

[olkaz]

7. Dammit, now I have to watch holy grail tonight

Good lord that's a funny movie.

[shadowknows69]

4. And I thought I had a lot of time on my hands