Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance

[woolldog]

There are 5 commonly agreed to stages of grief. Keep these in mind when responding to Clinton supporters on DU. Let's try to be more sensitive to what they're going through, and recognize that each may be in a different stage and to deal with them appropriately.

(1) Denial: a defense mechanism' postulated by Sigmund Freud, in which a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence.

Examples:

"Clinton won Texas." or: "This is still a close race."

(2) Anger: Anger is an emotional state that may range from minor irritation to intense rage. Anger can raise the heart rate, increase blood pressure, and increase the levels of noradrenaline and adrenaline. Often includes feelings of wanting to fight back or get even.

Examples: "If Obama wins I'm voting for McCain!"...."It's a cult!"....."It was Hillary's turn!".... "I hate his supporters so much, I'm not voting for him!"

Also may find expression in the use of cynical and bitter descriptors: "Obama thugs" "St. Obama" "Obama cultists" to name a few.

(3) Bargaining: Attempting to make deals to avoid the loss or attempting to make deals to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, praying to avoid the loss.

Examples: "It's really electoral votes of the states won that counts, right?"....."There's really no such thing as a pledged delegate; there are only delegates."..... "Small states, caucus states, states that are too white or too black don't matter. It's the big states that count."...... "Popular vote is what matters."

(4) Depression: overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal.

Examples:

"I'm not posting here anymore." *sob* "I just don't care what happens anymore."

Also characterized by withdrawal, sometimes to secret internet forums where other depressives can find each other and avoid facing reality together. There is a danger that this can lead back to (1) denial and (2) anger, which is unhealthy as it may prolong the grieving process.

(5) Acceptance: usually refers to the experience of a situation without an intention to change that situation.

Examples: "I will vote for the nominee."

[democrattotheend]

1. I went through all of that with Dean in 2004

And I know how painful it is. That's why I really wish the Obama supporters here would be more gracious and stop trying to push the Clinton supporters to reach stage 5 by constantly saying it's over and demanding loyalty. I hope that most of them will come around eventually, but her supporters are not ready to give up and neither is she. If Obama does clinch the nomination, I expect that there will be a period of grieving and depression and anger for most Clinton supporters, and the best thing we can do to help Obama is be gracious to them and reach out without being pushy or gloating.

[napoleon_in_rags]

2. ITs not that I've read this post before that bothers me.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x5333748

Its that I've read it over and over again.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x5062151
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x4848697

Lots more times beyond that.

[maximusveritas]

9. Yeah, but this is the best one yet

And at least it's better than seeing people post the same links to the same hit pieces over and over again.

[woolldog]

15. feel free to rec my thread, then.

;-)

[woolldog]

14. thank you

I had missed those threads.

[Noirceuil]

3. Don't worry....

If Obama is the Democratic nominee, you will experience all 5 stages of grief when he loses the general election to McCain. I look forward to an analysis just as detailed.

[DUyellow]

5. WOW, first this OP is jacked up. But i think this could be worst.

i mean really, i am all about Obama. Biased all the way, but i would fight to get Clinton elected if Senator Clinton won the Dem Nom.

You said you are looking forward to McCain winning the GE. WOW. Is this really DU?

[Noirceuil]

11. Obama cannot win...

the general election with empty rhetoric and ties to haters (Jeremiah Wright), domestic terrorists (William Ayres), and criminals (Tony Rezko). This is a fact. Deal with it! If Hillary Clinton were running around with a crowd like this, you people would be hysterical.

[bhikkhu]

17. A guy from Chicago ought to know better

[DUyellow]

18. Tsk Tsk, You shouldn't underestimate Obama.

That is one think you should know about by now...

Also, last i checked we were all dems. When did DU become something different?

[RaleighNCDUer]

10. Well, there's stage 1. nt

[QC]

4. Condescension, smarminess, cloying self-righteousness. n/t

[Usrename]

6. hmmm

"cloying self-righteousness"

Are you sure about that?

[cboy4]

7. "Got Hope"

:rofl:

And you post this flamebait?

Very mature woolldog.

The irony around here is too much.

[woolldog]

19. just trying to improve the quality of discourse here, cboy.

:patriot:

[cboy4]

20. Uh huh....sure you are.

[bhikkhu]

8. I imagine you know, but about 50% of the party would consider this a slapdown

And if you think about the post itself, a slapdown a not step on the route to stage 5.

[woolldog]

12. Not 50%

Most Clinton supporters that I know aren't as invested as some of the ones here, who may have worked, donated money, and been following her career for years etc. I won't mention any names, but I had a few in mind.

My point is that people shouldn't respond angrily to them, but understand where they're coming from and accept it and let it roll of their back. Some will be angry and call Obama supporters names; some will threaten they're voting for McCain and so on. Just let it go. No need to flame them. They're going through their stages of grief.

I think the quality of discussion would improve quite a bit as a result.

[bhikkhu]

16. 41% or so, and I agree with the rest

[ORDem]

13. On the other hand, I remember what Gore said that Mondale said to him

after having the 2000 election stolen from him. He asked Mondale how long it took him to get over his own loss. Mondale replied, "It's been 20 years so far."

:dem:

[merh]

21. K&R

:rofl:

:kick:

[struck_dumb]

22. got yet another 'borrowed' saying?

He's like the rap-sampler of the political world. Royalties?? Credit?? Only if the court says I have to!

I suppose you are making a point about how hard it is to give up when you care... :scared:

[woolldog]

23. What are you talking about??

:shrug: