Poll: Majority of Americans Bitter, Clingy

[proud2BlibKansan]

Poll: Majority of Americans Bitter, Clingy
Numbers Could Help Obama

With less than a week to go before the Pennsylvania primary, a new poll released today hints that Sen. Barack Obama’s controversial remarks in which he called Pennsylvania voters “bitter” may actually be helping him with a key constituency: bitter voters.

According to a new poll released today by Newsweek, 54 percent of likely voters in Pennsylvania describe themselves either as “bitter,” “sometimes bitter” or “bitter most of the time.”

Drilling down beneath those numbers, the results of the poll get even better for Obama, especially when the respondents answered the question, “When you are bitter, what do you cling to?”

According to the poll, 35 percent said they clung to “religion,” 34 percent said they clung to “guns,” while 28 percent said they clung to “antipathy towards people who are different from me.”

In a sign that voters who describe themselves as bitter are ready to mobilize in support of Sen. Obama’s presidential bid, over a million bitter voters took to the streets of Philadelphia today in support of the Illinois senator.

The demonstration, which organizers were calling The Bitter Man March, suggests that bitter voters had found something new to cling to.

According to Tracy Klujian, 35, a bitter florist from suburban Philadelphia, “When I’m not too busy clinging to guns or religion, I’m going to cling to Barack Obama.”

Elsewhere, in a new effort to relate to voters, Sen. Hillary Clinton did five Jell-o shots at a bar in Pittsburgh.

http://www.borowitzreport.com/default.asp

[rug]

1. How many have wedgies?

[unpossibles]

2. 35% clung to "religion," 34% clung “guns,” 28% clung to “antipathy towards people who are different"

um... that's kinda scary and sad.

[Yael]

6. Pssst

Its satire.

[unpossibles]

7. hahaha. I fell in the Sarchasm again!

I did not click the original link.

Then again, "the greatest truths are said in jest" so... it's probably not far off the mark either.

[undeterred]

3. Bitter, clingy, outraged feminist for OBAMA

The tshirt is going to be pretty full.

[proud2BlibKansan]

5. I hear ya!

:hi:

[SteveM]

8. "Tshirt is going to be pretty full?" My goodness, now I'm feeling clingy!

[undeterred]

12. ...

:rofl:

[undeterred]

4. Bitter, clingy, outraged feminist for OBAMA

The tshirt is going to be pretty full.

[gcomeau]

9. I was completely falling for this...

...until I hit the million bitter man march. I even made it through the 28% clinging to antipathy towards people who are different part with only a single double-take. But then I hit that "million bitter voters" and my brain turned over.

"Huh...now something ain't right here... shouldn't I have noticed something like that?

Ohhh!"

[proud2BlibKansan]

10. I love Andy

[proud2BlibKansan]

11. dupe