READ: Possible leaked Hillary Indiana Campaign Schedule/Strategy!!

[KansasVoter]

A friend of mine knows a person who works for a cleaning crew who found this in Indiana. It is apparently a list of the campaign strategy and tasks for Indiana. These are notes written by Hillary!! I cannot 100% verify it is true but it looks like it is:

Friday April 25th:
- Visit South Bend, remind voters that I was born and raised in South Bend.
- Make sure to only book high school gyms that hold less than 200 people. A larger one will look empty on TV
- Research if crying in Indiana will get me more votes. Maybe hire a consultant to analyze crying trend among older women.
- Threaten Bill Collectors with nuclear attack if I am elected.

Monday April 28:
- Send Mark Penn his weekly $10,000 “keep quite” money!
- Have Maggie whine more about how delegates really can switch anytime. And how if they don’t things could be bad for them. Accidents could happen.
- Have Bill speak in Rushville, make sure his shock collar in on incase he says something stupid.
- Make sure Bill mentions I was born and raised in Rushville. Have a local principal threatened to discuss my days in High School days there.
- Remind voters of my days as a West Point cadet!

Tuesday April 29th:
- Research if pregnant women who voted for me can count as 1½ of a popular vote. Even if they can’t, start counting them in the popular vote count that we lie about daily.
- Whine about Florida. Whine about Michigan. Whine about any topic that helps me.
- Keep searching for a retired Bosnia sniper who can testify he had me in his scope and was ready to shoot. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!
- Schedule quarterly sex with Bill.

Wednesday April 30th:
- Speak at my alma mater, Indiana State University. Tell them I was born and raised on campus.
- Add non-voting democrats to my popular vote total. Say some rule allows it.
- Remind the press that I am “Hillary Clinton” dammit. HILLARY CLINTON!
- I do not like toilet paper. Too rough. Immediately order 5000 live white rabbits!
- Investigate other possible U.S Territories like Puerto Rico. Find popular vote totals for them. Add them to my list.

Thursday April 31st:
-Make sure press understands a 5-10 point win in Indiana is a HUGE win because I was only ahead 16 points 3 weeks ago.
- Ask Merriam-Webster to redefine double digit to mean anything above 5.
- Notify creditors that we accidently mailed all check to the wrong address.
- Is it possible, since we are occupying Iraq, that they are actually considered Americans for popular vote purposes???
- Research where I was really born and raised, because I have no fucking idea.

[OnlyObama]

1. "Live White Rabbits"...LOL!

[davidlynch]

2. LOL also n/t

[futureliveshere]

3. ROFL.... Seriously!!

Maan, I gotta stop reading this stuff in office. People looked at me strangely s I was guffawing on the floor.

Great post maan. Now prepare to get flamed...

[OnlyObama]

6. Me too!

[peoli]

4. ROFL

[Lerkfish]

5. OK, this is damned hilarious.

[nichomachus]

7. You had me until

I got to the part about "quarterly sex." That ain't gonna happen -- unless she's scheduling him to have sex with an intern or something.

[SoCalDem]

10. and she should ask for at least a dollar...um.. about that April 31st part

:rofl:

[tammywammy]

8. Very funny!

:rofl:

[SoCalDem]

9. Back Home in Indiana (Hillary: The Indiana Years)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x5666420

[KansasVoter]

22. That was really funny!

[liberaldem4ever]

11. Too funny!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[RainDog]

12. LoL

but... she's sunk already. She should claim Indiana University as her home, not Indiana State U. ISU only has about 10k students. IU has 40k students. more bang for the buck.

At ISU, however, she should claim she spend time in jail with local American folk hero Eugene Debs. At IU, she should claim she was on the Cutters team for Little 500 in the movie, Breaking Away.

She better not mention Bobby Knight because he's about as divisive as she is, at least in Bloomington, where IU is located.

She should photoshop her head onto Joshua Bell's body while he plays the violin. He's a homeboy that everyone is proud of. Then she can jam with John Mellencamp, tho he already did concerts for Edwards.

[Political Heretic]

13. Threaten Nuclear attack on creditors if I am elected!

LOL!!!!

[KansasVoter]

24. Had to throw that in!

[cjsmom44]

14. RE: TOO FUNNY

ROFL.... ROFL....

[quantass]

15. .

[wndycty]

16. Change April 31st to May 1st and you got a winner!

:kick:

[rateyes]

17. 30 days has September, APRIL, June and November....

other than that----HILARIOUS!! :rofl:

[KansasVoter]

19. Damn, well maybe that was a Hillary mistake!! :-)

[KansasVoter]

20. Damn!

[rateyes]

18. self-delete

how did this response get posted in the wrong thread? :shrug:

[Window]

21. LMAO!

:rofl:

[Bensthename]

23. LMFAO.. Nice..

[KansasVoter]

25. thanks

[Scurrilous]

26. Hilarious.

K & R :thumbsup:

[FlyingSquirrel]

27. You really think they have sex that often?

:shrug:

[mckeown1128]

28. live white rabbits...lol lol

:rofl: :rofl:

[GetTheRightVote]

29. I needed a laugh right about now, thanks, LOL

[KansasVoter]

30. They are so soft! (nt)