Hillary Clinton Challenges Barack Obama to a Duel

stevenleser

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Sat Apr-26-08 05:57 PM
Original message

Hillary Clinton Challenges Barack Obama to a Duel

http://www.opednews.com/articles/opedne_steven_l_080426_hillary_clinton_chal.htm
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
April 26, 2008

By Steven Leser

A note hammered to the door of Obama campaign headquarters in Chicago yesterday contained the startling proclamation, "Barack, if you have the guts, meet me at the Mall in DC on May 1 at high noon, and bring your favorite pistol. - Hillary"

An anonymous Clinton campaign spokesperson acknowledged that Hillary is too far behind to catch up in pledged delegates and likely cannot win even with super delegates so she has embarked on the only course available to her to win the nomination. "She has to take him out," said the source.

There is a precedent for high level US politicians to settle their differences this way. On July 11, 1804, the last duel between national level politicians occurred between Federalist Alexander Hamilton and Democratic-Republican Aaron Burr. Hamilton was killed in the duel and Burr's political career was finished. More recently, on September 1, 2004, from the floor of the Republican National Convention, Georgia Senator Zell Miller indicated to MSNBC's Chris Matthews that he would like to challenge him to a duel. Thus far, the Matthews-Miller duel has not occurred but if it does, my money is on Miller. He seems to be more into it.

Sarcasm aside, Hillary has challenged Obama to a debate without a moderator. She claims it is because she wants to have a debate that is more focused on the issues but in the last debate, she was more than happy to talk about everything but the issues. I have a prediction that describes what kind of a debate that would be:

Senator Obama: My healthcare plan doesn’t force people to participate in it. Senator Clinton, why do you believe coercion has to be a part of a good healthcare plan?

Senator Clinton: Healthcare is important, but it really disappointed me that you stayed in a church with a pastor like Jeremiah Wright.

Senator Obama: You didn't answer my question.

Senator Clinton: Yes, I did.

Senator Obama: No, you didn’t. Okay, forget about healthcare. The housing crisis is a serious issue about which many Americans are understandably concerned. I have a plan to provide relief for homeowners and that includes better regulation for the industry. I am glad you have a similar plan. What do you say about the Republicans, both the current President and presumptive nominee John McCain both don’t want to help those affected by this crisis?

Senator Clinton: Funny you should bring up real estate. Your friend, real estate slumlord Antonin Rezco was indicted. There is nothing connecting you to any of his misdeeds but he is your friend, isn't he?

Senator Obama: This is unbelievable.

Senator Clinton: I agree, it is unbelievable, as is the fact you called small town Americans bitter. Why do you hate small town America?

Senator Obama: I thought you wanted to talk about the issues Hillary. How does any of this tell America what either one of us would do if we were elected President?

Senator Clinton: Don't change the subject! If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen! What about that weatherman you lived near for a number of years! He wanted to bomb buildings in the 60s. I hear you went to some barbecues at his house. Did you make bombs with him at those barbecues?

Senator Obama: Professor Ayers is a casual acquaintance. We never discussed politics and you know all of this Hillary! Can we talk about foreign policy? I'll tell you what, you go first. Ask whatever you want to ask me about foreign policy, you pick, anything about any country or world leader.

Senator Clinton: What do you think that having a pastor that says "God Damn America" says to other countries? What do you think it says to our allies and potential foes! You won’t defend out country against attacks, will you? If someone attacks us, all you will do is throw up your hands and say "God Damn America!"

Senator Obama: Now you aren’t making any sense at all. You are just making things up as you go, aren't you?

Senator Clinton: So you are attacking me now. It's because I am a woman, isn't it? Now you are being a sexist too!

After the debate at the post debate newscasts:

Pundit 1: Obama was clearly uncomfortable at this debate. He was on the defensive the entire evening and really didn’t look ready to be President.

Pundit 2: He really took a pounding, and Hillary was in her element. She was knowledgeable, looked calm and had some real zingers in there.

Pundit 1: She sure did. She painted Obama as a sexist terrorist. You have to think that will hurt him in Indiana and North Carolina.

------------------------------

After twenty-one debates, not only do I agree with Obama that we don’t need any more debates, I think it is a public service not to subject the American people to what I illustrated above, namely, a non-moderated version of the last debate. Hillary proved in the last debate and over the last four weeks, she doesn’t want to talk about the issues, she wants to make personal attacks and engage in rumor and innuendo. I don't need Hillary or another debate for that. If I want that, I can read page six of the NY Post or buy the National Enquirer.