The Dead Politician Sketch

[sellitman]

The Dead Politician Sketch


A Voted Enters Washington:

Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

C: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

C: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

O: We're closin' for lunch.

C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this Politician what I voted for not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Hillary Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'she's defeated, that's what's wrong with it!

O: No, no, 'e's uh,...she's resting.

C: Look, matey, I know a defeated Politician when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

O: No no She's not defeated, She's, She's restin'! Remarkable Lady, the Hillary Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

C: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone cold defeated.

O: Nononono, no, no! 'SHE's resting!

C: All right then, if She's restin', I'll wake her up!

(shouting at the Hillary)

'Ello, Miss Clinton! I've got a lovely fresh shot of booze for you if you show...(owner hits the table)

O: There, She moved!

C: No, She didn't, that was you hitting the table.

O: I never!!

C: Yes, you did!

O: I never, never did anything...

C: (yelling and hitting the table repeatedly) 'ELLO HILLARY!!!!!

Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your Three o'clock alarm call!

(Takes Hillary off the table and thumps her head . Has her dodge bullet fire and watches her plummet in the polls.)

C: Now that's what I call a Defeated Politician..

O: No, no.....No, 'She's stunned!

C: STUNNED?!?

O: Yeah! You stunned her, just as She was wakin' up! Hillary Blues stun easily, major.

C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That politician is definitely defeated, and when I voted for it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk........

and so it goes.

[scarletwoman]

1. She's pining for the fjords. k&r Thank you for the laugh! (nt)

[krispos42]

2. She's shuffled off her mortal coil!

:rofl:

[Crunchy Frog]

3. She could always run on the Silly Party ticket.

Change her name to Hillary Wim Bim Lim Tim Bus Stop olay busciut barrel Ftang Ftang.

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. "It's your three am wake-up call" - Bwuhahahaha! Genius!

Well done!

:thumbsup:

:applause:

[Ichingcarpenter]

5. We would like to apologize for the way in which politicians"

"We would like to apologize for the way in which politicians are represented in this programme.

It was never our intention to imply that politicians
are weak-kneed, political time-servers who are more
concerned with their personal vendettas and
private power struggles than the problems of
government, nor to suggest at any point that they

sacrifice their credibility by denying free debate
on vital matters in the mistaken impression that party unity
comes before the well-being of the people they supposedly represent,
nor to imply at any stage that they are squabbling little toadies

without an ounce of concern for the vital social problems of today.
Nor indeed do we intend that viewers should consider them
as crabby ulcerous little self-seeking vermin with furry legs

and an excessive addiction to alcohol and certain explicit
sexual practices which some people might find offensive.
We are sorry if this impression has come across."

[EFerrari]

6. I channeled this today when Class Warrior posted this endorsement thread:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x5694399

:)

[ccharles000]

7. I found that to be very disrespectful to Hillary.

[ccharles000]

8. I found that very disrespectful of Hillary.

[sellitman]

10. I have found her whole campaign to be disrespectful

and here is a newer picture for your collection. The one you use is rather dated.

[SwampG8r]

9. that is an ex politician