Concession Speech Delayed Again (snark alert)

[The River]

This Just In!

In a not unexpected change of plans, Fridays announced concession has been delayed until
Saturday to allow Hillary and her supporters to hold a "Group Hug" Friday at a yet to be announced venue.
Event sponsor, Kleenex Inc. announced plans to provide as many as 18 million 2-ply tissues.
Beer for crying in will be provided by Budweezer and Blue Nun Whine will also be served. Cheese is optional.



Update!1!

We've just received word that Saturdays concession speech has been postponed until
Monday to allow Clinton Supporters to begin erecting a "much larger than life" marble
statue of the NY Senator on the Washington Mall. It's expected to be under construction
until February 4, 2012


Wait! Wait!!

We've been informed now that Mondays concession speech will be delayed until Tuesday to
allow Congress to pass a Unanimous Resolution proclaiming Hillary R. Clinton "Woman of the Century"
followed by a trip to the Pentagon where the Joint Chiefs will award her a Purple Heart for the
wounds sustained in Tuzla.

When asked about the endless delays, Campaign Spokesnut Terry McCuckoo said " Some of the
Super Delegates are starting to die of old age so we think there is still a chance".
When asked the same question Harold Icky replied " go *(&#$&^@#*%$* yourself".

Future News Flash

This just in !1!1.... A copy of Rupert Murdochs N.Y. Times dated June 5th, 2108 has dropped out
of a quantum worm hole that's formed outside of Rockefeller Center. According to the
front page story, Hillary Clinton, who has been in cryogenic suspended animation since refusing
to concede on this date in 2008, is being thawed out, as per her wishes, to continue her quest for the White House.
Family spokesperson, Clintons grand-daughter and former President, Monica Clinton Kennedy
was quoted as saying "Grandma is going to be pissed"


*cues up Dan Hicks recording of "How Can I Miss You (When You Won't Go Away)".

*exits GDP till 2012

[Poll_Blind]

1. It's been that kinda week. I think the Statue of Liberty threw up in her mouth, a little.

  GIVE IT UP, SENATOR CLINTON! Stop showing us what an ass you can be and, instead, what an asset you can be!

PB