Hello. My name is R.I.G.H.T.E.R. Writer, and I have a new television show on Fox News.

[Writer]

Now that ED Hill has been handed her walking papers, they've replaced her show, America's Pulse, with mine: America's Heart Attack.

Each day I find a new provocative missive insured to excite my audience's sensibilities. Need a racist comment? A mean-spirited invective? Just tune in to America's Heart Attack. I have a whole list of non-PC garbage to spew. Just tune in, turn on, and get your nitroglycerin tablets ready.

And if your blood pressure isn't rising enough, I'll bring aboard my Ann Coulter doll:

Just pull the string on her back and she'll vocalize all sorts of mind-screwing diatribes that will send you straight to the cardiologist.

America's Heart Attack. Weeknights at 7pm on Fox News. Be there!

[Symarip]

1. TIVO'd

And where do I get my very own Ann Coulter doll?

[cliffordu]

2. I want an Ann Coulter doll to waterboard.

[Writer]

4. Each day on America's Heart Attack, we have a waterboarding party.

:party:

[cliffordu]

5. I am SOOOOO there......!

[Writer]

3. You can order them on my new website.

http://www.myocardialinfarctionnation.com/

[opihimoimoi]

6. Does the doll respond to needle pricks and pokes?

[Writer]

7. Yes, if you want to get the worst out of her.

[Youphemism]

8. Suggestion: Ann Coulter Doll v2.0: Pull the string and it shuts up. /nt

[Writer]

9. That would be much too calming for my program.

[QueenOfCalifornia]

10. Can we make it

like the old Playboy TV Show where everyone wears their Jammies?

[Writer]

11. Hrmmmm...

I don't think that anyone will want to see a scantily-clad Ann Coulter doll.