Is it ethical to hide my contributions to Obama from my wife?

[usregimechange]

She is a Dem but not as active as me and we don't have a lot of money to throw around. I can't help myself. We have already contributed our agreed upon together amount. I can't use the credit card as she is now handling our $. I can't write a check or she will notice. So I sent Obama some cash. Will I burn in hell?

:evilgrin:

shhhh, don't tell.

[MercutioATC]

1. I'm atheist, so I don't believe in a "Hell"...go for it.

Logic has you covered :)

[Labors of Hercules]

6. AMEN!

uh... I mean... I agree with your scientific appraisal under the circumstances... :evilgrin:

[Runcible Spoon]

2. I would think trust between you and your wife is more important than donating to Obama..

who is not exactly hurting for money anyway. I'm not a big fan of what you did, sorry!

[usregimechange]

3. Do I not get to spend some of the money I earn how I please?

just for the sake of argument!

[Runcible Spoon]

8. how the helll should I know! That's between you and your wife.

However, the fact that you're asking DU indicates you might feel somewhat guilty about going behind your wife's back. I have no idea how you guys handle your personal finances.

I just commented I personally didn't like the fact that you chose to spend it that way, for several reasons.

[emilyg]

25. Then why bring it here?

[question everything]

4. You need "other"

A couple has to trust each other with financial expenses. It is not Obama. It can be any other impulse spending.

If she handling the finances this means that she is a responsible adult who knows that, like many couple, you may be one paycheck away from the unemployment line.

Tell her what you did and find a way to cut on other expenses. Fewer lattes, perhaps?

[NYC_SKP]

5. Apply the golden rule. (but I think you want to tell her.)

If you think it would be cool for her to be contributing "her" money to a political campaign on the down low, then I guess it's cool for you to do.

Personally, I'd feel bad hiding any expense and angry if it was being hidden from me by my spouse.

I think that you posted this somehow indicates that you want to tell her, and you'd feel better if you did.

:hi:

[usregimechange]

7. Ha! I just did and she laughed and said: "Don't be weird."

So much for the fire and brim stones, she is a stronger Dem than I let on and it was my personal cash.

[madaboutharry]

12. Well, never mind!

n/t

[NYC_SKP]

21. Well, don't we feel better now?

One nickle, please.

[madaboutharry]

9. I agree that lying about money is counterproductive

for a marriage. If money is not an issue and there is extra to spend it may not be so important to report every little expense. But you and your wife agreed together on the amount you would contribute. You are now going behind her back and I think that is wrong. It may not be a "serious offense," but you are still betraying her trust. I think you should fess up and apologize. Your relationship is more important.

[SwampG8r]

26. money or finance is

always right behind sexual difficulties in divorce reasons

[On the Road]

10. Depends on Your Monetary Arrangements

When I was married, my ex and I kept separate balances for house money and personal money. House money was joint; Personal money could be used for anything. We had very hew financial disagreements.

Sounds like your arrangement is to pool all your money and spend it only by agreement. That can rob autonomy on things that you disagree on. This might be a good opportunity to reconsider that policy.

[Blondiegrrl]

13. I agree. My husband and I have always maintained separate

savings and checking accounts. It's saved us a lot of fighting over the years.

[The_Casual_Observer]

11. Keeping secrets from your wife is never a good idea.

[GreenPartyVoter]

15. Particularly regarding finances, and particularly if things are tight. :^( I applaud the enthusiasm,

but I do think it might be better if they were joint decisions.

[Hoof Hearted]

14. It's disrespectful and dishonest.

[napi21]

16. I don't have the problem you do with using the CC because I'm the

one who checks all the bills and pays them all, but I have to admit, I was a very strong Dean supporter, and I paid $50 to attend an appearance he had in Atlanta, and I also sent him $15 twice. He was the only politician I ever sent ANY $$ to, but if I had told my husband about any of it, he would have gone balistic! I never told him, and nobody is the worse for it.

So far, I haven't sent any money to Barack, although I might, but as you probably already realize, my little contribution won't be a great changer of anything. We just don't have much, and hubby is retiring in 3 months, so we'll have even less. I'll do what I can, but it will still be a secret!

BTW, we've been married for 44 years, and sometimes there are just things you should keep to yourself!

[usregimechange]

17. Obama's war chest exists because of people like you and me giving 20$.

And thanks for the differing perspective.

[silverlil]

18. why is this an issue?

Oh dear! I have only been married 49 years. We must have a different marriage to what you have. Reading between the lines, I think you must have shown yourself to be irresponsible. My husband pays the bills and if we spend $100 for anything, we talk about it beforehand this is old fashioned and I am going to get laughed at ... but we both have our 'mad money' and I do not question what he does with his, and he does not question me.
It works for us.

[stillcool]

19. I can't do it..

as sneaky as I'd like to be, I always fess up. Something has happened to me with age.

[4themind]

20. She can do a search for your donations online....

so you may want to be careful in doing that, it's publically available information, if the donation is larger than 200 bucks that is.

[Political Heretic]

22. It's not for me to say absolutely. I think you could have tried talking with your wife

and convincing her of the importance.

But I'm not comfortable saying "yes it was" or "not it wasn't" ethical.

[Jazzgirl]

23. Totally neutral. n/t

}(

[Trajan]

24. You need to be honest with your spouse ....

Obama can find other funds from someone who can provide them upfront ....

Take care of the home front before anything else ....

[Iggo]

27. If it came out of your allowance, no problem.

(Tee-hee-hee...allowance)